Honestly, we started out putting our daughter in the bassinett next to our bed and moved her to her crib in her bedroom (wich is two feet away from our bedroom) within two weeks of bringing her home. She’s a noisy sleeper…has been from day 1 and I would wake up to every sigh or shift and realized that I was making myself even more exhausted than I needed to be. It was difficult because people make it out to be that you’re abandoning your baby when you put them in a crib in their own room but it’s what worked for our family.

We have a bed in the nursery, so I’ve been sleeping there and my husband has been sleeping in our room. It’s nice because he gets a good night’s sleep and she’s used to sleeping in her crib from day one.

About a week ago I started putting her down in her crib and starting the night in our room. When I hear her wake up on the monitor, I go to her room to feed her then spend the rest of the night in her room because it makes feeding her so much easier.

I don’t think you’re crazy at all for wanting him in his crib in the nursery from day one!

I actually have very strong views on this FOR MYSELF (I want to note that simply because they are so strong. . . If others make different choices then that is up to them, I don’t want anyone to think I’m judging them if their choices are different from mine).

Both my kids slept in their own bed from day one. When I was nursing my son people would tell me, as a single mom, to just bring him in bed with me then I could sleep while he nursed. I never felt comfortable with this. What if he choked and I was too sleepy to react quickly enough? What if I rolled on him and smothered him? How could I time my feeds or switch sides if I’m sleeping?

Then there was the other side. When you have a baby your life changes. You suddenly put someone else’s needs ahead of your own ALL THE TIME. It is very easy to lose yourself and minimize your own needs while you are doing this. I am selfish enough to want MY space. I wanted a place to go where it was not about the baby, but about me, what I wanted and needed. I wanted to be able to put my kids to sleep, and while never being really “off duty”, have time to relax and decompress. Once I got married there was no question of if our second would have a bassinet. . . she too slept in her crib from day one. The same desire for my own space and time was there, but it also became about keeping my relationship strong. It is hard to get both kids out of the house at the same time, we need that time after bedtime to nurture our relationship.

It has also helped my kids. My oldest sleeps over at other people’s houses and goes camping and on vacation no problem. We have our bedtime routine that is portable and more important then the bed he sleeps in. My daughter is more challenging. She is a snuggler so she likes to invade other people’s beds so she can cuddle up with them. It does not however have to be Mom and Dad’s bed. . . she is just as content to invade Grandma and Grandpa’s if she is staying there. Again, it is more about having that familiar bedtime routine for her then where she actually sleeps.

This is MY reasoning and it has worked well for us. It lets me get up with the kids at night instead of the husband having to wake up (I stay home, he works, I can nap if I need to during the day, he can’t). It allows me my time and helps keep my relationship with my husband strong. Also, transitioning the kids to their own rooms was one less parenting hassle we didn’t have to deal with!

you have to see where your baby is and how he or she acts. my niece was very clingy and needed to cosleep for the first few months. she simply wouldn’t go down in her crib. other babies will. it just depends. it’s also much easier for the mom to breastfeed straight from bed. you will need sleep too if your husband is going back to work quickly, you are “on” all day. it would be good to have options and get the cosleeper just in case.

For me, with both my babies, having them in their big cot, but a few feet away from me in my bedroom, actually helped me relax enough to sleep when I wasn’t up feeding. Knowing that I could glance over and see my baby meant that I was generally more relaxed in bed. I am prone to worry, but if you’re not so much there’s no reason to keep your baby in the same room. Although I do think it is the most convenient for nighttime feedings to have baby nearby. My son is now 4 months and I think I’ll put him in with our 2 1/2 year old in a few months (which may have it’s own set if problems!).

We thought we’d have our son sleep in our room for the first few months, but it only lasted for one night! He was in his own room from the second night forward. If we keep both bedrooms doors open, we can easily hear him without a monitor. It just made more sense if the person getting up didn’t have to completely disturb the other person by making extra noise and turning a light on.

I completely agree that there is no reason for the spouse not taking the brunt of night time care (in the early months, generally the dad because of lack of boobs) to not get sleep. I finally found a system that works for our family very well; a bed in the baby’s room that the parent/baby can share comfortable (no squinchy onto a toddler bed please, a double or queen) and of course, the mom/dad bed. This way, whomever needs to sleep with whomever at whatever time is easy AND comfortable. Whether this looks like two queen beds in two different rooms, a futon mattress+crib in one room, it just makes sense that SOMETIMES you will want to sleep near your baby, and SOMETIMES you will want privacy for your spouse, so make it comfortable for whatever you want at that moment. Plus, your spouse can SOMETIMES take the baby and you can go comfortably sleep in the other room.

We started out our little guy in a an bassinet and after a few weeks we transitioned him to a crib because everybody was waking up waaaaay too much. Newborns are noisy when they sleep, like, rocks in a dryer noisy. Once he was in his own room (with a monitor) everybody slept better and the night wakings got fewer and further between. If I had it to do over, I’d have started him in is room from day one.

My daughter slept in a bassinet next to my bed for the first 12 weeks. Hubby was sleeping in the guest room because he was working and she was a noisy sleeper. I hardly slept at all because I was so nervous and always leaning over to stick my head into her face to check her breathing. Tip-toeing around our room for 12 weeks sucked too. But I loved having her next to me. I did this mostly because her room is on the other side of the house and I would have been a wreck. Also, I’m convinced that had she been in her own room, I wouldn’t have gotten her up nearly as much as sometimes babies just babble in their sleep – not necessarily because they are awake or hungry. They put themselves back to sleep. You’ll know the difference between that and a hunger cue, eventually.

I never nursed in bed because I always wanted “My Breast Friend” pillow – so I’d get up and take her to the couch or to the chair in her room. Getting to the point…….if her room would have been right across the hall – I would have been okay with her in there for the beginning. I could not see if you had a ceiling fan in his room – that was one condition for me. I wouldn’t move her into her crib until there was a fan in her room as it reduces the risk of SIDS.

Sorry for the unorganized, long-winded answer!

With all 3 of my kids they started out in the pack-n-play with the bassinet for at least. the first 4 weeks. Mostly due to the fact that I had an emergency c-section with my first, so while our grand plan was to put her in her crib from day one, that wasn’t possible for me. She slept in our room for 4 weeks then went to her crib. It was just so much easier to have her near us. Our middle child stayed in our room for 6 months, but she was a NICU baby- had severe breathing problems at birth- so when she came home I had her close to me at all times. Our 3rd slept in the pack-n-play bassinet for the first month, then we put her in her crib because she slept better there. It all depends on the baby, on the what’s going on that particular night, and on how you are feeling. You have to do what is right for you and the baby, the best thing you can do is be prepared for both options and be flexible.

I love this post and kudos on your courage!

For my next baby I will most certainly start day one in the crib, in the nursery. With our son, we had him in our room for two months but later when I started learning about sleep schedules more I realized it was silly….we didn’t need him in there and he slept SO much better in his own room.

I also agree about your night feeding plan. My husband only had one week to stay with me and my mentality was that since I was staying home with the baby I’d take care of the night stuff….I didn’t have to get up and go somewhere every morning! Also, nursing is so much easier than doing pumping and bottles anyway:)

As you can already tell, every family is different and every baby is different. Some are more high maintenance and demand a lot of closeness day and night. Some are more easy going. The key is definitely flexibility. Plus, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Just because you might have him in your room the first night or the first week doesn’t mean you can’t move him whenever. During those first three months, I’d say a willingness to just go with whatever works at the moment is helpful. After that, consistency becomes really important. I myself am one of those moms who doesn’t even send her baby to the nursery at the hospital because I am able to relax more when he’s close by. But I’ve suffered a LOT of sleep deprivation over the years.

Also, husbands can surprise you. My husband just said the other day that since having kids, he’s become a deeper sleeper–he’s learned to tune them out. I, on the other hand, have become a much light sleeper and wake at the slightest noise, even with them all sleeping out of our room!

Personally, I did not put my baby in the crib from day one. I felt it would be too traumatic to separate from each other so quickly (not as much for me, but for my child). A baby is with you for so many months and to separate so quickly was just too much for me to think about. I felt it would stress my child out to all of the sudden be in an unfamiliar environment without mom.

The AAP recommends babies sleep in the same room as mom for 6 months to reduce their SIDS risk. That’s my “official” reason for being unable to sleep without being right next to my little angel. His first week of life, I couldn’t sleep a wink just because I wanted to watch him and I missed him while I slept…and also my husband works full time and hardly notices if/when the baby has been up at night.

I think the key is to do whatever it takes so everyone in the house gets the most good quality sleep. Whether that is nursery sleeping or co-sleeping depends on each family.

we had our baby sleep in a packnplay in our room for the first 3 weeks because my mom stayed with us to help out & she slept in the baby room. if we had had an extra bedroom though, i probably would have slept him in his crib from the beginning. or at least after one week. babies are really noisy sleepers! i would wake up at every shift & sound — it was so exhausting. he is 3.5 months now & loves his crib. we sleep with the video monitor off & just leave both our bedroom doors open. i can hear him if he is really crying (not just whimpering), which is the only reason i would want to wake up in the middle of the night now.

With both our boys we placed them in a pack and play in our room or right outside of it. Both times it didn’t last long because they were loud sleepers and every little noise wake us up – not good. With our girl we immediately placed her in her crib and enjoyed so much more sleep.

Our first slept in our room for the first three months, and it was actually more restful for us – I could get him very quickly when he woke to nurse. Most of the time, my husband didn’t even wake up. His normal sleep sounds didn’t bother us. And it was not difficult to transition him to his crib (although we did stress about it at the time!). When we were ready, it was nice to have our bedroom back, but we are planning to do the same again for our second (due any day now). For me, that first bit was focused on whatever worked – and for all of us, having our son in our room worked. When he was really fighting sleep, we even took him in bed with us – something I had not planned to do. As others have said, you’ll learn what works for you and your baby, and you may be surprised!

My kids slept next to my bed at night and in their crib for naps during the day. That way they were used to the crib but still close at night for feedings. I never did feedings in my bed because I was afraid of falling asleep but I had a comfy chair in my room for feeding.

Well…we kind of did this. My LO was in his nursery from day one, but there is a futon in his room. So, my husband got to sleep, but I slept on that futon for 3 weeks. I found it was more for my sake than for my son’s though, really. He slept really well initially, but I was paranoid enough that I’d want to watch him.

Thank you for sharing your opinions with us. I’m very curious how this will work out for you. We had this same plan, but after many, many, many sleepless nights of the baby very unhappy if he was not physically ON me, we got a bassinet that sat next to our bed. My husband had no paternity leave and has a very high stress job that requires a good night sleep. Having the baby next to me so I could scoop him up and nurse him was quieter than hearing him cry on the moniter, jumping up, running to his room, feeding, getting back into bed…only to have to repeat in 2-3 hours.

Best of luck with Baby C!