Being Pregnant
Wherein I Burst Your ‘Pregnancy Glow’ Bubble
the only thing that's "glowing" is the iphone filter
I remember being pregnant with my son, Jackson, 4 years ago and attending a college football game with my in-laws during the first trimester. I wasn’t showing yet, though I felt enormous.
(You know that feeling with your first pregnancy? The INSTANT that your pants are tight and the rubberband you have looped through the button of your jeans to give you an extra inch has popped, you’re all OMG, I’M SHOWING. I AM PREG-NANT. Y’ALL. PREG-NANT!)
No? Maybe it was just me…
Anyway, I had a miniscule bump at best. While I never got sick during my pregnancy with Jackson (knock on anything near you that remotely resembles wood), I felt sick all the time. It was as though I was in a constant stage of flu-recooperation, or so it felt. That icky, too hot but chilly body temp, exhausted sandpaper eyes, bloated and gassy, nothing sounds good but you know you need to eat so you scarf on some cheetos and chug milk out of the carton… It was gross. I felt gross.
And yet… people tell you, first time pregnant people of the universe, that “YOU LOOK MARVELOUS!” and “OH WOW, YOU’VE GOT THAT NEWLY PREGNANT GLOW!” and “PREGNANCY LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, MAMA!”
…which is exactly what I was told repeatedly at that college football game, as my husband and I strolled around from tailgate to tailgate.
And sure, you smile and nod and thank those who bestow such sweet words upon you. You don’t know any better… yet.
Now, with this pregnancy, I know better. I know that I look exactly how I feel in this first trimester.
I’m tired; no, like TIRED. I’m growing a human and my hips hurt as they are expanding. My eyes want to close as soon as I open them in the morning. I am bitchy and moody and weepy. A small garden of zits has sprouted on my chin… which only amplifies the dark chin hairs I have developed since turning 30.
Nothing about the first trimester looks “marvelous” or even “good,” let alone “glowing.”
Nothing.
Not even your zygote is looking cute yet. (Nothing personal.)
Truly, if anyone goes for 9+ months with no booze/smoking/drug use, ridiculous amounts of sleep, and drinking water like you’re a camel with a side of prenatal vitamins, they too can have that “pregnancy glow.”
But don’t tell me that I have said “glow” during my first trimester. I know better now.
Go Back To Being Pregnant
9 Comments
BuenoBaby commented on Sep 08 11 at 10:30 amThe first trimester is all about the naps! [Also, the second, the third and the first year with baby.] So go get yourself one!
PrincessJenn commented on Sep 08 11 at 10:35 amI remember wanting to slap people who said I was glowing. I was like “that’s a freakin hot flash from all these damn hormones you jerk, not a glow”.
My hats off to women who look all gorgeous while they’re pregnant.
Amber commented on Sep 08 11 at 10:37 amI remember being pregnant with Kellen and was so naive as to how I looked. People told me I glowed, looked beautiful and I actually believed them!! This time around, I know that I am a hot mess for sure! I’m huge, with stringy hair, and have that constant “I just threw up look”..well bc I probably just did. 13 weeks left and I am counting down daily to being somewhat presentable again!
sarahh commented on Sep 08 11 at 11:22 amI have to admit, I’m a little confused. What’s so offensive about people saying something nice? Should they take one look at you and run screaming, hide their children’s eyes, throw up, start frantically hunting for something with which to gouge their eyes out, etc? I’m in my first trimester, and I do own a functioning mirror – I know I look tired (I am) and occasionally like I took one too many rides on the tilt-a-whirl, but if someone were to tell me I looked “marvelous” I’d smile and say thank you…because that is the polite response, and being pregnant doesn’t actually excuse bad manners or lashing out at well-intentioned people.
Lisa commented on Sep 08 11 at 11:28 amI felt horrible this time around. I remember feeling like crap in the early months with Maya, but I had that this is all so new and cool feeling that helped balance it out. This time the newness had worn off and I just felt horrible. Plus, taking care of another child while pregnant seems to make it all much worse. It wasn’t like I could nap whenever I needed to this time around.
mybottlesup commented on Sep 08 11 at 2:59 pmSarahH, I’m sorry for your confusion. I never said I was offended when I had been told that I looked good in the first trimester of my pregnancy with my now 3 year old son. In fact, I admitted that “you smile and nod and thank those who bestow such sweet words upon you. You don’t know any better… yet.”
I don’t believe myself to be an ill-mannered person who lashes out at those who are well-intentioned, as you say. I was simply writing a post about how non-glowy I feel with this pregnancy, and that with this new pregnancy, I have learned that while those well-intentioned compliments are nice, they’re not necessarily true.
snakecharmer commented on Sep 08 11 at 3:27 pmI’m in the same boat as the author. First pregnancy, I glowed. I looked like a happy, healthy, well rested mom to be. People complimented me on my glow. I loved it. This time….not so much. Lack of sleep? Raging adult acne brought on by hormones? Running around after cute yet precociousl toddler? Check, check and check! No one has yet told me I’m glowing this time around and I can only glance in the mirror to verify…yep…not so glowing! lol! Ah well..only 5 more months to go….
sarahh commented on Sep 08 11 at 4:02 pmMybottlesup…lol. OK. Have a happy, healthy rest of your 9 months, and I hope you feel better.
Dolores commented on Sep 09 11 at 11:50 amLOL–I can totally relate. This is my first pregnancy, and although I am so excited, the thrill wears down a bit when you start feeling/getting sick all of the time!!! On top of that, was the fact that I was just going back to college to pursue another degree, and relying on public transportation at the time. The second trimester has left me feeling slightly less crappy, and God only knows what the third trimester will bring…. But when the baby is here, I’m sure it will ALL have been worth it=)
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