Being Pregnant

An Adoptive Mother’s Decision To Breastfeed

Posted by melanieblodgett on July 7th, 2011 at 2:20 pm

MG 5891 300x200 An Adoptive Mothers Decision To BreastfeedLast October my family welcomed a very special addition to our family. After years of waiting, my sister and husband were finally able to adopt a beautiful baby son named Lucas – (yes, they also face infertility but our causes are unrelated). I was able to meet him when he was only a few weeks old and when it came time to feed him, I was surprised when my sister took him into the other room to breastfeed him. Yes, she who had not physically born this child was able to breastfeed! It is actually possible. I was so fascinated by this discovery and thought some of you would be interested too. I asked how she came to the decision, just how she was able to produce milk and if she believed it  was worth it and I’m sharing her story with you today.

I have always felt strongly about breastfeeding, I even wrote a paper about it in college before I was even married that helped me learn the benefits to both mothers and their children. I really wanted to nurse my children. When we found out that we would need to adopt, I shortly after learned that I could still breastfeed. When we found out about little Lucas coming in just three months, I did more research! I read books and looked up things online. I talked to my gynocologist and since she didn’t know too much about it (shows how little is known about it) we researched it together. As we read through things she gave me her professional opinion which gave me the reassurance that it would work out.

I started taking some Domperidone (or motillium), which is a medicine that helps you lactate, which I ordered from an international pharmacy.  I took 20mg, four times a day.  I also took fenugreek and blessed thistle which are herbs that are supposed to help with milk supply. I then bought a good pump and started pumping about two months before Lucas was born.  I pumped before work and every three hours or so after I got home for a total of about four times a day, with more on the weekends. This really changed my breasts (made them bigger) and got my nipples “toughened up.” After taking the medicine and pumping for a couple weeks, I saw some definite progress.  It started out with a little secretion at first and then developed into a few drops of milk and then into much more.  Right before Lucas was born I was pumping around one ounce per pumping session.

After we took Lucas home from the hospital I had my first experience nursing him.  It was a miracle. My husband definitely teared up. Lucas just latched on so perfectly and was a pro at it (I realize how lucky that makes us). I probably fumbled my way through it, but it was so perfect in every way. I continued taking the medicine and he was eating every 3 hours so there was no need to pump. I also used a nursing supplementer called the medela supplemental nursing system.  It is an external feeding device that has a tube that I tape to my nipple and that way he gets all he needs from my breast milk with the addition of formula.

My milk supply increased significantly in the months after he was born. I always needed to supplement, but my goal in breastfeeding was to be able to bond with my son, it wasn’t for him to only get breast milk. After he started sleeping through the night, I didn’t need to supplement him in the morning because I definitely had enough milk.

I still love breastfeeding him and I’m so happy that I made that decision. I don’t know when I will wean him, but we have a great nursing relationship right now and I am not sure when or how that will change as he continues to grow. My husband has always been supportive of it and so that helps. It really helped my bond with Lucas. I full heartily think that it is all worth it. It hasn’t always been easy and there was a time when I thought that he didn’t want it or when I didn’t know if he was getting enough, but it has been overall one of the best decisions I’ve made.

Thank you to my dear sister for sharing her experience today.

photo of baby Lucas

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 An Adoptive Mothers Decision To Breastfeed

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20 Comments

That is so incredible! I love it! I wish more was known about breast feeding those precious little babies who meet their mamas through adoption!

Katy E commented on Jul 07 11 at 2:50 pm

So great! We adopted a baby at eight months old and he had been on a bottle for so long that I elected not to try to breastfeed. If we had adopted a newborn I would have definitely tried it!

beckster commented on Jul 07 11 at 3:05 pm

I adopted too and didn’t even consider it, but wow, more power to you! I also know a lesbian mom whose partner had the baby, but she did the nursing. She went on the pill full-time (no periods) while her partner was pregnant, went off when her partner went into labor, and took the lactation drugs you mentioned. Worked great, apparently.

renee commented on Jul 07 11 at 3:11 pm

What an awesome gift to your son!

Lee commented on Jul 07 11 at 4:31 pm

that is so cool! i really had no idea you could breastfeed if you hadn’t physically given birth — i found this story fascinating. thanks to your sister for sharing.

lyndsey @ the stationery place commented on Jul 08 11 at 11:26 am

That is so wonderful! Breastfeeding is such a miracle. Thanks so much for sharing your sister’s story.

Emily commented on Jul 08 11 at 12:04 pm

I think this is awesome, and I had considered this in the event we adopted to have a second child (first is an IVF baby, and I BF her for 22 mos). I wish that more medical providers were knowledgeable about it. I wonder if any studies have ever been done on the composition of breast milk produced in this way. I have wondered about this ever since I first heard about it. I have read so much about how breast milk is perfectly formulated by your body according to how old your baby is, and whether your baby is premature, etc. – your body just knows how and what to feed the baby what he/she needs. I wonder what the composition of the breast milk is when lactation is induced, and the baby didn’t come from your body, therefore the connection re your body knowing what the baby needs isn’t there. This is not to “poo poo” adoptive mommies breastfeeding, because I think it is an amazing thing! It’s just a curiosity I have. I’d like to find research on this if it’s out there.

Erin commented on Jul 08 11 at 5:00 pm

What a beautiful story, thanks for sharing! Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift to give your child and an amazing way to bond. Kudos to your sister for doing what she did to make it happen!

Kristin commented on Jul 09 11 at 3:40 am

Very interesting and heartwarming. Best wishes for a great nursing relationship!

Chloe commented on Jul 10 11 at 1:55 pm

So, so, so AWESOME!! What an amazing mother! Truly an inspiration!!

Jill commented on Jul 11 11 at 4:38 pm

Incredible!! Kudos to your sis for taking the time to research and make this happen. What a special thing!

hippiemom commented on Jul 11 11 at 4:39 pm

The body is so amazing. What a wonderful experience for mom and baby both to have this experience.

Nisha commented on Jul 11 11 at 5:08 pm

We had only 1 month’s notice before being placed with our adopted son, but I had researched adoptive breast feeding and began the same process (medication, herbs and pumping) as soon as we found out. We brought him home when he was one day old after receiving instruction from the lactation consultant at the hospital. The hospital and public health nurse were very encouraging of adoptive breast feeding. While I actually generated very little breast milk and had to use the supplemental nursing system, having tried to produce milk gave me the confidence to put him to the breast which was a very meaningful and bonding experience, and I’m sure I wouldn’t have done that if there wasn’t a chance at milk.

Laurie commented on Jul 11 11 at 5:10 pm

Erin, I am not an expert at all, but I have read that part of the way your body produces the right composition for your baby is by sort of *reading* their saliva. When baby latches on, the saliva is absorbed telling your body what to make. This is one of the ways it knows hows to give the right immunities and how it knows to make the milk more watery when they are getting dehydrated from a stomach bug. Our bodies are so amazing!

Elizabeth Licht commented on Jul 11 11 at 5:47 pm

I love how you made that possible. every baby deserves a mother’s love! I love feeding my baby and seeing his big eyes look back at me. Truly a great feeling. Congrats!

adriana commented on Jul 11 11 at 6:43 pm

That’s amazing! Thankyou to your sister for sharing her inspiring story.

Elissa commented on Jul 11 11 at 7:10 pm

That is incredible! I guess I just never thought about it working that way. I am so glad that it did work out. What a special way to be able to bond with her new son!

Beth commented on Jul 11 11 at 10:27 pm

I admire your sister so much for her dedication. Pumping with nothing coming out hurts! She’s an amazing mother.

katie commented on Jul 11 11 at 11:13 pm

what an amazing story. made me tear up. nursing my girls was an incredibly bonding experience. i’m so impressed with your sister’s commitment! xo

stephanie commented on Jul 31 11 at 11:34 pm

I herd about this years ago! I think it is so wonderful and what a way to bond!!!!

Charla commented on Sep 24 11 at 12:26 am

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