Being Pregnant
Is There Such A Thing As An Ugly Baby?
I’m just going to start this post off by saying it’s extremely shallow so take it with a grain of salt. Also, I know that I will love my kids unconditionally no matter what they look like.
Back a couple years ago when I naively thought we would be pregnant within a few months and my biggest concern was what we would name a baby, I also had the fear that our baby wouldn’t be cute. Do other people have this fear? While my husband and I aren’t a bad looking couple, I’m not sure our dominant noses and big lips will translate well to a small human.
My husband doesn’t think there’s such a thing as an ugly baby. They’re all just babies so they’re cute he tells me. But I tend to disagree. There are definite differing levels of cuteness when it comes to babies. While I would certainly never tell a mother her baby wasn’t that cute, you all know people are thinking it. It’s probably a good thing that once a child is born parents develop a super shield over their eyes that allow them to think that their kids are the absolute cutest.
One thing I find fascinating is that you usually can’t predict from the parents if the kid will be cute or not. While they might be a supermodel couple, their kid could be just sort of cute and then sometimes homely people have the most attractive babies on the planet. The best predictor is probably what they looked like as kids.
I realize now how this is an irrational and shallow fear but I can’t be the only one who’s ever thought about it. Am I?
Parental worries over their baby’s looks aren’t as uncommon as you’d think — find out what made this mom wonder if her kid would always look weird.
Go Back To Being Pregnant
27 Comments
Abby commented on Jun 21 11 at 2:48 pmThank you! I have a thirteen month old and will be giving birth to another girl in three short months! My first one was suprisingly (to me) very pretty. Not just cute, which I thought for sure, but one of those pretty babies. Me and my husband both have cutie baby pictures more than pretty. I am so close to last time when every one was all “Oh my! She is so pretty! Look how pretty she is!” What if her sister is…..well…..not.
Lisa commented on Jun 21 11 at 2:55 pmBefore our first was born, my husband and I made a promise that if either of us admitted that the kid simply wasn’t a looker, the other was not allowed to get mad. Turned out we didn’t need to make such a vow, but we still talked about it a lot leading up to D day.
Dancing Branflake commented on Jun 21 11 at 2:56 pmTrue story- I was the ugliest kid ever. Just uncomfortably ugly. I always wondered how my parents felt about that. Sorry parents! My sister? Totally cute and pretty at the same time. My husband is not allowed to see my baby photos at all.
KateTietje commented on Jun 21 11 at 3:11 pmThere are babies I think are not very cute…and so I keep my mouth shut and compliment other aspects of the baby. “Oh, he’s so alert!” or whatever.
*My* babies were the prettiest ever…lol. And you will think the same thing. We’re programmed to find our own babies adorable. I never worried that they wouldn’t be cute, per se, but I kind of had in mind what I “wanted.” I want smaller, thin babies (I don’t like the chubby/all rolls ones) with lots of hair. Both mine just happened to be this way! I was thrilled. Not that I wouldn’t have loved them anyway, I’m sure I would have still found them adorable, but it was cool to get what I “wanted” lol.
Amanda commented on Jun 21 11 at 3:12 pmMy sisters told me after my son was born that they were soo worried about showing up at the hospital and realizing that he was not a cute baby! They were afraid they would have to lie to make us feel good. Luckily we had an adorable little boy with cute dimples! He is now 11 months old and we are expecting our 2nd the end of November and I do worry what if the next isn’t as cute!
Mama Wrench commented on Jun 21 11 at 3:53 pmWhen I was pregnant with my son, I made everybody promise that they wouldn’t tell me he was cute if he wasn’t. Luckily it didn’t matter and everybody agreed that he was a beautiful baby — not cute, not even pretty, just beautiful. Kinda think I’m missing out on some cash by not making him a baby model, heh.
Honestly, yeah, I think there are ugly babies, but who cares? 99% of the time they grow out of it, and within 3 months they have real personalities that way more than make up for anything superficial. As long as you love your baby and don’t base your affection on how he looks, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging his big ears or old man face, it just adds character ;)
Hannah Gardner commented on Jun 21 11 at 3:54 pmWith our first, my hubby and I definitely said the “what ifs” on cuteness. Of course when our daughter got here, I thought she was absolutely gorgeous! She is now 16 months, and looking back at her baby pics, I realize just how homely she was! Her eyes were practically swollen shut, and she had the worst baby acne for a whole month! I’m glad she’s a lot cuter now, lol. *shallow* I know. With a second baby coming in the next few months, I’ve barely even though about how cute or un-cute it might be. I just want this one to have red hair like Daddy:)
paula commented on Jun 21 11 at 4:06 pmI had that fear from the moment I was pregnant. I felt bad, because I had less of a fear of my little girl being unhealthy than being cute. But we had all the tests and everything done, which reassured me that she would be a healthy little baby. But I had the biggest fear of her not being cute. Luckily she came out as cute as ever, and people stop us all the time fawning over our adorable little daughter. She’s now 3 months old, and still darling! :)
Katy E commented on Jun 21 11 at 4:08 pmNewborn baby smell is intoxicating. It’ll give you (and anyone who scores a cuddle with your new precious bundle) the new mama equivalent of “beer goggles”. My boys have that big, square-round Irish head and have super-chubby cheeks. Impossibly cute… but as newborns they both had weird, blotchy newborn skin and I had no idea whatsoever!
Jenna (another one) commented on Jun 21 11 at 4:16 pmMy husband and I, while not unattractive on our own, have physical characteristics that if combined in the wrong way could turn out tragic. Subsequently I was terrified our daughter would be hideous, she ended up being adorable but I’m now with my second pregnancy the fears are creeping back in. It should also be noted that pretty much all newborns are ugly, you gotta give them a few weeks to get it together before you can really judge.
Baraginie commented on Jun 21 11 at 4:19 pmI have a 2 year old nephew, my sister and I agreed that since I had said “oh my he has a big nose” when he was born, then she can say things abour ours when we do have a baby. That being said, last year whilst watching photos and videos with my sister she said to me “phew, he is finally cute, he was so ugly when he was born”!
Lori commented on Jun 21 11 at 4:40 pmYes, some babies are not attractive. I have found a lot of times that babies that I didn’t find to be attractive usually start to get cuter at around a year or so. I used to ask people before I had kids if they thought they would know if their kid was ugly or not. I personally think I would know. I am perfectly happy to admit that one of my kids is much less photogenic than the other one. She looks perfectly cute in person but some of her pics are down right scary. I am scared that with each one of my babies they will come out looking not so cute. My husband and I have features that could really mix up bad given the opportunity. We all hope our children will be attractive but it is a fact of life that some people just aren’t. Hopefully we can raise them to be happy well adjusted people no matter what.
Nay commented on Jun 21 11 at 6:07 pmSix nieces/nephews in. Both nieces… were kind of ugly babies. Niece one – the delivery room was apparently silent until the dad came and looked at the baby. He looked at her, furrowed his brow, glanced at his wife… “She looks like a bald John Prescott.” The nurses all relaxed – “Thank God someone said it.” She’s pretty now, though. (Do a google search. Yes, she looked like a bald version of that.) Nephew 3 was so-so, but is adorable now.
Karen Petersen commented on Jun 21 11 at 6:21 pmsometimes I think that babies that don’t have hair until they are like 3 years old are not that cute. totally nobody’s fault but it happens. I think both my babies were precious but not supermodel babies like my mixed race niece. ha ha!
Karen commented on Jun 21 11 at 9:02 pmA) Thanks to Jenna for having the same sentiment that newborns aren’t cute! When I see a photo of a newborn & it’s actually cute, it’s such a pleasant surprise.
B) Googling John Prescott to imagine that bany was super fun.“What if the baby’s prettier than us? We’ll have to leave it in the desert somewhere!”
I’ve talked with friends about this, even though I’m not looking for kids now. I think I’ll definitely recognize and admit if my baby isn’t cute. A coworker realized her son wasn’t cute, so she didn’t take pictures of him until about a year (when he got alot cuter). It’s not something you can control, and as other people mentioned, they can grow out of it quickly.
Nasrin commented on Jun 22 11 at 7:13 pmWhen our DD was born my husband said she looked like an alien. I was really upset, because I thought she was super cute. Now she’s 9 months, and I look back at the birth video and um, well, she does kind of look like an alien. But we both agree now that she is very cute. We get a lot of confirmation on this, so I’m pretty sure it’s true. But they don’t have the phrase “a face only a mother could love” for nothing.
JP commented on Jun 23 11 at 4:44 amI wouldn’t change a thing about our daughter but, perhaps from being a photographer, I can also look at her objectively and know she isn’t about to star in a Baby Gap commercial. While all babies are gorgeous and have their own look, just like the fashion industry and super models, there is a commercial look and attributes (bright blue eyes, ringlets, clear skin etc.) that we no doubt subconciously associate with an “attractive” baby.
I also wonder if parents perceive a baby that looks more like them (or their existing children) to be more attractive?
sarah james commented on Jun 23 11 at 5:30 amI delivered an ugly baby once, cross eyed and mono browed, not a word of exageration. Of course we all told the mother how gorgeous her little baby girl was and not to worry about her lazy eye which the doctor was sure would self correct itself, but really we were thinking ‘so they’re not all born cute after all.’ I bumped into the mother down at the beach eighteen months latter. The little girl holding her hand, the baby I’d delivered, was one of the most gorgeous looking kids I’d seen, blonde hair blue eyes, neither of which were cross eyed or lazy, and the mono brow had disappeared. Turns out there is a lot of truth in ‘The Ugly Duckling.’
janna commented on Jun 23 11 at 5:31 amWell all babies are cute n adorable. But after they turn one like that u can really see there are some who are pretty n handsome. But most will stay cute n adorable until they start school age, if they are pretty they will stay pretty till old, if not so good looking they just grow up like the rest of us, the normal look.
TwinHappyJen commented on Jun 23 11 at 7:23 amI hate when beauty and cuteness are talked about like some kind of objective facts that can be proven/disproven. Physical attractiveness is different from person to person… what one person finds gorgeous, the other can find hideous. It’s all a matter of personal opinion….
Bromley commented on Jun 23 11 at 11:34 amOf course there are ugly babies. BUT, a lot of those ugly babies will turn out to be really cute toddlers/kids/adults. A gorgeous friend of mine has a pretty funny looking baby, but I have no doubt she’ll be looking cuter soon. Likewise, some of the cutest babies end up being not-so-cute adults! Anyway, both my husband and I were not the most attractive babies (in my opinion, not everyone agrees), but we were super cute toddlers, so that’s what I’m anticipating with our baby! We’ll see. In the end, it doesn’t matter. Just shallow babble :)…
Caryn commented on Jun 23 11 at 12:20 pmI remember when I was there about 20 minutes after my second niece was born and I just stood there looking at her. My sister quietly said, “funny looking, huh?” I nervously laughed not sure that my sisters emotions were controlled enough for me to agree. But then she said that she always thinks newborns look sort of alienish for the first couple days and then they start to get cuter and have their own look. I’ve noticed this a lot since then. Although c-section babies always seem to be cute right off the bat, something about the coming out process seems to make the babies really red and squished looking for the first day or so. I can’t say that I’ve ever really seen a baby that I didn’t think was cute in some way. Even if they maintain some “funny looking” features. That just makes me smile more. :)
Kas commented on Jun 23 11 at 2:06 pmMy 1st/boy was cute. My 2nd/girl was “OMG HOW BEAUTIFUL!!” I don’t mean to sound rude about it, but she was one of those babies that was always smiling and cooing and just being so darn cute that (I worked in a Portrait Studio @ the time), my Boss used her as a “training baby” for new photographers! Both of these babies are now 14 & 15 and still great looking!!
baby #3— wow. NOT a pretty baby at first! She didn’t start to be cute until she was maybe 18m old!! She had no hair while the other 2 had full heads! They were rolypoly/plump and she was a stick! She is very laid back and they were VERY outgoing. They are TALLLLLLL and she’s a little petite thing. She’s 9 yrs old now and pretty cute, but in the beginning… ummm, not so much.
I LOVE THEM ALL THO’ !!!!!
annie (the annilygreen one) commented on Jun 28 11 at 11:10 pmi was seriously worried about this before my daughter was born. not in a vain way…just in a worried way! my mom still makes fun of me about it. speaking of my mom, her parents hardly took any pictures of her as a baby (there are maybe 2 or 3) because they didn’t think she was very cute. so sad! they thought her older sister was cuter. well, the joke’s on them because my mom grew up to be stunning…leaving her “cute” sister in the dust.
Melissa commented on Jun 29 11 at 12:18 amThis post cracked me up! I haven’t ever worried that my kids would be ugly babies (and thankfully, they have been pretty darn cute, at least to me, lol), but my husband and I were just talking the other day about some friends who have a seriously ugly baby. I’m sure she’ll grow out of it; her older siblings are cute. And when we were first married, we knew an amazingly gorgeous couple with the funniest looking kids. Of course they were always styled cute, but it was the kind of thing where you look at the parents, and then you look at the kids, and then you look at the parents again and say, “Wha?!”
christine commented on Jul 11 11 at 6:47 pmThis is hilarious. I thought I was the only one who had this fear. Mostly because of all the babies I’ve deemed as not cute in my head. It’ll probably come back to bite me.
Karen commented on Sep 17 11 at 3:34 pmi’ve always had this fear too! luckily my son is absolutely adorable, maybe thats just mother’s eyes but every one agrees lol i used to kinda think all babys were cute but i have to admit that i have seen babys that instead of saying “awww how cute!” all you can say is “awww … look at him/her…”
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