AMEN!!! I’m in the same boat. My sons have big heads (and yes, I know that babies heads mold to fit through the pelvis) but my pelvis simply cannot accommodate their heads, no matter how molded or how ideally they may be positioned. No forceps, no suction could pull them down. Cephalopelvic disproportion is rare but it still happens (and is slightly more prevalent in women of short stature… of which I am one.). I hate the term “elective cesarean” because I certainly would not choose major abdominal surgery, increased risk of infection, longer hospitalization, less opportunity for post-birth bonding and increased risk of problems with future pregnancies over a vaginal birth… but in my case, I would choose all the former over having a child with severe handicaps secondary to birth trauma or having a child grow up without his/her mother. Thank GOD we have docs skilled in the procedure for when it’s necessary. Maybe in cases like ours, second and third cesareans should be termed “Necessary”

Situations like yours are exactly the reason I am glad there are cesareans. I am a HUGE believer in drug free, vaginal birth. I know its healthier on mom and baby when they don’t have issues. But when an epidural means a mom can rest to birth vaginally because she’s been in prodromal labor or when a baby is born by cesarean because babe truly needs assistance not a doc has a tee time this morning I am so very very glad for drugs and surgery.

The woman who are misinformed about pain of vaginal vs cesarean and plan a cesarean is simply wrong. Having had multiple cesareans you know you’re recovering from both surgery AND birth. Talk about pain. People should better educate theirselves, women should be supported and encouraged to squat,hands n knees, stand,side lie…whatever feels right to THEM. Its hard to push AGAINST gravity while lying on your back. Our sacrums are not designed for us to birth that way and it leads to cesareans where so many feel they have done something wrong and allow others to encourage that belief within theirself.

When a babe is “stuck” the first thing a dr/midwife should do is get mom to squat. It opens the pelvis up about an inch and when you’re dealing with centimeters that’s a mile of space and could mean the difference between a vaginal or cesarean birth.

You tried. It’s not about winning or losing but

Yeah, natural unmedicated birth is awesome. When it works. When it doesn’t, we have modern medicine. And thank god for it.

Thank you for writing this and posting it on the perfect day. I am being put on bed rest today because of a high risk pregnancy (hypertension/gest diabetes/placenta previa and failure to progress in prior labor). My son was a c-section after 26hrs of labor with pitocin and only getting to 2cm – he weighed almost 10lbs at 37wks. I had two back to back ectopic pregnancies – one of which was in my right tube and the next in the right side of my abdomen. Our hopes and spirits low we got pregnant with our little girl due this June and I was struggling with trying for a vbac or to do a csection. My sister is training to be a midwife so we are well informed out of her concern and love for us. I have an amazing and laid back set of doctors so I can say I’ve researched my options and though I am eager to try a vbac I’d like for little Aeva to make it full term and be delivered via c-section for her safety/health and my own. I was feeling pretty guilty about the choice but your blog made me feel better – I am not posh, I’m a workaholic /blue collar/ tattooed/somewhat neurotic momma and though I am sure I could handle pushing I know my body just is not capable to traverse this venture. Thanks again :)

Please Becky, now you are stereotyping about natural birth advocates. Interventions to alleviate pain in headaches, dental work, etc.. do not also carry potential risks for the birth process, the mother and the baby. That is why women need to be informed of all their choices. And we should all respect the choices that each woman makes. For me, an epidural x2 = 2 c-sections and internal damage while a natural birth = great, vaginal birth. So that is why I want others to know what I didn’t the first two times. With that said, this post is wonderful because it reminds us all to seek first to understand. Most of the time when one is doling out advice, we put our own needs/perspectives ahead of the one we are supposedly trying to “help”. We need the dialogue but not the judgment!