Being Pregnant
Birthing Class: A Colossal Waste of Time
Birthing class represents nothing more than eight hours of my life that I'll never get back
Is birthing class necessarily necessary? Nope.
The first time I was pregnant I couldn’t wait to go to birthing class. I never much liked school, but I was eager for it anyway because taking it was a sign that my baby was near and I could attempt to ensure that my growing peanut would enter the world without me accidentally cracking her shell.
As it turns out, however, birthing class was exactly like every class I’ve ever taken and hated, except with more videos and discussions about blood and pain. I left each session and cried. That is, if I wasn’t already crying as a continuation of what happened during the class.
Nothing of what had been taught stayed with me. All I learned was there would be pain, more pain and a bunch of blood. Sure, I was admittedly the woman who got a positive pee stick and asked her doctor immediately afterwards if it was too soon for an epidural. But I thought a birthing class would reassure me that all would be well when, in fact, the opposite was true.
The tennis balls, breathing techniques, the mix CDs and birthing plans (what kind of plan is necessary beyond getting the kid out without incident?) — it was all too much for me. I looked around to see if anyone else was freaked out and I couldn’t be sure. Regardless, there was none of the comfort I assumed I would receive considering women give birth, like, all the time. The class made birthing seemed unnecessarily complicated considering we all had to be birthed just to get here.
“But if you have an epidural, you don’t really have pain like that, right?” I asked after every video and discussion in every class.
“Well, yes,” said the instructor. “But if you use these techniques, you can avoid the epidural.”
“But clearly these women haven’t avoided any pain,” I said.
That was usually when she called for a bathroom break.
One night during class we took a tour of the maternity wing at the hospital and the instructor showed us a little fishhook device that is sometimes used to pull the baby’s head out if it’s a somewhat complicated birth. I didn’t have a chance to freak out; one of the dads-to-be fainted. I thanked him for doing to it for me.
As it turns out, nothing I learned in the birthing class came in handy. When my water broke a few days before I was supposed to be induced, I spent four hours trying to decide if that’s what happened or if I had just wet the bed. I didn’t have any normal contractions (dysfunctional labor; don’t ask) and yet I still dilated to 10 centimeters. My OB came into the hospital room, sat down on the corner of the bed, put her hand on my knee and told me to start pushing (I thought at least I’d be in a different room than I’d be in for that past 12 hours). And then, after an hour, she turned off the epidural.
That’s when I started calling for someone’s head (“Don’t tell me I don’t feel the urge to push enough! I’m doing a great job pushing!” I hollered). After an hour of that — perhaps they were waiting for me to lose my voice — I was wheeled into the operating room for a c-section.
And most importantly, not on one video or in one birthing class discussion did they indicate there would be a curtain placed between my neck and the rest of my body. Nor did the instructor let on that I wouldn’t be able to hold my daughter immediately following the delivery, nor that my husband wouldn’t be allowed to cut the umbilical cord.
Looking back, the class definitely wasn’t necessary and did way more harm than good. But at the very least, I learned from it that I mostly certainly won’t ever need to take it again.
Did you think birthing class was worth it?
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Amanda commented on Apr 08 11 at 3:59 pmMy birthing class barely even touched on c-sections, and I ended up having to have one too. Whether people like it or not, the reality is that a lot of babies are delivered by c-section and these classes do a disservice to those of us who end up having one due to an emergency. No one ever plans on having an emergency c-section (hence the word *emergency*), so unfortunately, I bet a lot of women were like me and simply don’t do much research into them. I was completely caught off gurad, not so much by the delivery itself, but by what happens in the hours and days afterwards.
Meredith Carroll commented on Apr 08 11 at 4:00 pm@Amanda — I couldn’t agree more. And there’s such an emphasis on “no drugs” that they could explain what happens if you actually decide *to* take drugs, because it’s not as if it’s a walk in the park when that happens, either.
CDN Mummy commented on Apr 08 11 at 4:09 pmI thought they were extremely helpful in calming my nerves about the big day. The nurse went through the different stages of labour, the potential complications, among other things that I felt were worth knowing beforehand. I may not have remembered everything or did anything the way I should have but because of the classes I had complete confidence that the nurses and doctors knew what they were doing and had my/baby’s best interests in mind. If nothing else, I was not scared of what could happen. By the way, about a year and half ago, in my area, prenatal classes were cancelled because of the H1N1 flu scare and it was big news that the doctors had a much tougher time with births because the pregnant women did not know what to do. It was definitely noticeable for many months after.
ceridwen commented on Apr 08 11 at 4:28 pmI teach childbirth classes so you can imagine I’d be interested to read this. I’m sorry to hear your teacher didn’t support the choice of an epidural or explain what happens in a c-section, these are standard in all my classes, even a home birth class gets a full description of a c-section start to finish and tips for recovery. Going over the benefits and risks and details of all hospitals procedures/surgery is crucial. My training (CEA/MNY two year rigorous program) focused on a nonjudgmental, evidence-based approach– an epidural is very effective in eliminating pain, there are different levels of benefits/risks depending on the circumstances, etc. For some women it’s a priority to have an epidural, for others it’s not. Both groups should be adequately addressed so they feel secure and prepared heading into labor/the hospital, etc. I also wonder if your care-provider might have done more to prepare you for some of the surprises you experienced. Of course there are all kinds of teachers and classes… and hey, even the best childbirth class might not be someone’s cup of tea. But, in general, I think a good childbirth class can help fill in where our mainstream prenatal/maternity care system leaves off. I hope there are others reading this who have had more positive experiences with childbirth ed. as it’s clearly something important to me.
betty commented on Apr 08 11 at 4:44 pmWe had the most excellent experience with a great Bradley method class/instructor. Our instructor had us ready for all possible scenarios. I was 100% freaked out about doing the classes, pregnancy, labor and delivery before the classes and felt very, very glad that we took the classes. She had past class participants with varying birth experiences talk to the class- w/epidural, w/o epidural, pitocin, and c-section. Totally worth it for me and my partner.
Meredith Carroll commented on Apr 08 11 at 4:55 pm@CDN Mummy — The nurse in my class went through the same things, but I didn’t feel reassured after it. It made me more nervous, even though I trusted m doctor.
@Ceridwen — C-sections and epidurals were explained, but not at length or in depth. Sounds like I should have been in your class instead.
@Betty — My goal in taking the class was to NOT be freaked out, but it had the opposite affect on me. I don’t doubt some of that was because of me, but I also think the class was not as good as it could have been.
Steph commented on Apr 08 11 at 5:36 pmMaybe you just went to a crap class? Mine were great, if not a little general – I mostly enjoyed connecting with other parents-to-be and have the opportunity to ask questions. The woman who gave the classes ended up being our doula, and will also be with us again for the birth of our second baby. I think the general tone of your article implying that all classes would have been a waste of your time is a bit disingenuous.
Meredith Carroll commented on Apr 08 11 at 5:47 pm@Steph — I didn’t say it “all classes” were a waste. I said the class was a waste for me.
Sara commented on Apr 08 11 at 7:56 pmI am also a CBE instructor, and it is hard to cover everything in classes. The way I teach is all based on the enrolled families. We go over basics, but then go in the direction the parents want. If you don’t have time and want to pack it in to 1 day 8 hour class there will be a lot to digest, but a ton of modern apps, and tools are available now so you don’t have to remember everything. Using technology has been a big help, men love gadgets and apps, and women want them to want to learn about these things. In the case of not knowing everything about the csection, there would be no way for an instructor to know the anesthesiologist rules, which mostly control how, who, and what happens in the OR even over the OB in some cases. So sorry to hear that the class didn’t help. I know as an instructor I would want to be asked or told if people were leaving more upset that educated. Some institutions have “rules” on what you are allowed to say or talk about. When in doubt private CBE is usually worth the money, a small fee to pay for a personalized experience. My classes are group or private and so far I haven’t been told anyone has walked away unsatistified. http://www.thebbbcafe.com
mom of 2 commented on Apr 08 11 at 9:26 pmI’m sorry you didn’t get much out of your childbirth class. I will say that for my first baby I asked around a bit and was told that the birthing classes at the hospital I would deliver at were terrible and was referred to another hospital to take their birthing courses. I was glad I did this–my birthing course was great (and I ended up very sorry I wasn’t birthing where I took the courses, but that’s a whole other story). In any case, I think people should do some research into what birth course to take the same way you would do research before choosing a birth attendant, midwife, or ob. Some hospitals offer “courses” that are little more than a brief overview of the phases of labor and a tour. That’s plenty for lots of people. If you’re planning to do a natural birth, you’re probably going to want more. Everything in pregnancy and birth is about not making assumptions and asking lots of questions. I think the best advice is to know yourself, know your needs, know your provider, and be informed. If informed means lamaze classes or Bradley classes or hypnobirthing classes, then get that. If informed means just knowing your OB’s guidelines on when to come to the hospital and getting a tour of the facility, that’s fine too. Birth is as individual as every woman and every baby. It’s really just up to you.
Lorrie commented on Apr 08 11 at 10:49 pmMy childbirth classes and instructor were SO important to me being able to actually achieve a vaginal birth under very difficult circumstances that I went into the field myself. My classes are comprehensive and we do talk about complications and interventions in addition to natural methods. I have dozens of cards, letters and emails sent to me from satisfied customers. When in doubt an independent, non-hospital based educator will usually offer a better class with smaller teacher to student ratios and the ability to adapt to each couples needs and concerns. I am in my 11th year as an educator/doula/birth assistant and on the college track to a nurse midwifery license and I will always encourage every mother to take a good independent class. I teach with Brio Birth these days and feel it offers a wonderful in depth preparation for all couples birthing in all settings.
Lydia commented on Apr 08 11 at 10:50 pmMy childbirth class was amazing. The class I took was 12 weeks long and very comprehensive. I was prepared for all different scenarios and I learned how to be flexible. More importantly, my husband learned how to help me during labor and we also learned about doulas, which I hired. If there is ever a next time for any of you who pooh-pooh childbirth classes, I highly suggest taking a class which is comprehensive so that you truly get an education. Don’t take the hospital class and don’t take one of those ridiculous weekend classes. Take something like Brio or Bradley.
Ellen commented on Apr 08 11 at 11:19 pmI could have written Lydia’s comment (except the part about hiring a doula, which wasn’t common when my kids were born, but I became one later myself), so: what she said.
ldancer commented on Apr 08 11 at 11:36 pmI found CB Ed extremely helpful and empowering. We attended a very general one, that went over all the options and possibilities we might encounter. I wasn’t nuts about the educational filmstrip “When An Elk Has An Epidural”, which was just impossible to sit through with a straight face, but it’s a fond memory. We loved the instructor. I tell friends to take a class, not because we need to be told how to deliver, but because there’s a lot to navigate besides the actual pushing out of the baby, and it helps to have it laid out for you beforehand. We were faced with some pretty unexpected stuff on the day itself, not from my labor but from external forces, and I was glad for the class, because it helped me to deal with all of that.
Kristin Contreras commented on Apr 09 11 at 1:31 amI wish I knew. I thought at the very least it would be interesting even though I was not planning on a natural child birth. But my son came 3 weeks early. I can relate on being confused whether or not my water was breaking. I wasn’t sure if it was an incontinancy pregnancy thing or not so I went back to bed. When it just didn’t stop then I knew. After being in labor for a while and my son’s heart rate not picking up, I too had a c-section. Since he was preterm I was still in the hospital 3 days later when my child birthing class was supposed to happen. I just wish I could have gotten my money back, they aren’t cheap.
Jess commented on Apr 09 11 at 11:49 amWow, I am sorry that your class was so rough. I took a one-shot 8 hour class. All day, stuck in a room with really pregnant women and their partners. But, I have to say, while all of it wasn’t important to me, I took a lot away from it. The best activity for me was a list of medical procedures that “could” happen during labor. My husband and I filled it out together over lunch. This activity helped me to prepare for all the possibilities, including a C-section, that I may endure on the big day. I had to learn that birthing plans are just a general idea and that labor is out of my hands. Being a teacher and a planner, this was a huge moment for me. After lunch, we discussed it all… and the healing process from each. It helped calm my fears. I don’t really remember much else.
debbie commented on Apr 09 11 at 3:27 pmI just loved my birthing class (which was way way longer than 8 hours. It was three hours once a week for like 6 weeks). It was a natural childbirthing class, but at the end she also covered exactly what goes on with epidurals and csections with videos of women going through it. By the end of the whole thing I felt so full of knowledge and felt like I could handle it. I just LOVED when my instructor would take part of the class to lead us all through progressive full body relaxation techniques, I just about melted everytime and this is the main technique that got me through the birth of my first child drug, intervention and pain free. If you don’t want to take the class, then just learn to relax very well, but its hard to relax if you don’t know what the heck is going on.
Jennifer commented on Apr 09 11 at 4:15 pmIt is very unfortunate that you had that experience. I teach Birthing From Within. Compared to other childbirth classes, it is very different in that it is not an “out come focused” method. There is NO judgment regardless how you plan to give birth there is a cesarian role play to help prepare parents for the experience, should it be something that occurs. In addition to that, a great deal of time is spent addressing individual fears… Not to dispell them, but to increase your ability to cope with needing to face them. The reality is, no childbirth educator, and no one can predict what will happen in your birth. It’s my goal to individualize each and every class to my parents specific needs. That includes finding out what exactly you would need for support from your partner during your birth. Your comment frustrates me because I feel that it’s heartbreaking and even tragic that there are women like you who spent your pregnancy “freaked out”
I go out of my way (and usually waaY out of budget) to help women celebrate their journey into parenthood. I’m sad no one was there for you to help you celebrate and to help you find the courage and peace you needed to take whatever your birth gave you in the way of challenges. Teaching childbirth Ed is not something anyone does to get rich, it’s a labor of love. I actualy lose money teaching, I am a nurse also and I make far more money doing that, I teach simply because I care very deeply about how women experience their pregnancy and birth, I feel that it is a right of passage that should be celebrated.
Tracey commented on Apr 10 11 at 9:42 am8 hours?!! Devoting 8 hrs to prepare for the most important event in your life and then complaining you didn’t get anything out of it. What did you expect in 8 hrs. It takes at least 2 hrs to cover comfort measures alone. If you were hoping to learn how to welcome your baby without “cracking her shell” you might have considered finding a class that goes over a longer period say 6 weeks, even a weekend perhaps to learn what you needed to. You should have taken your instructor aside and told her you were not getting the info. you were looking for and perhaps she could have offered additional resources for you. Fast food childbirth classes result in gaps of knowledge, you think?
Ellen Mary commented on Apr 10 11 at 9:50 amFor my First Birth I took Bradley: That was helpful! But I felt that how to actually cope was missing.
Second Birth: I did the Hypnobabies Homestudy. AMAZING!!! IMHO it prepares you for any type of birth & is better, more state of the art than an Epidural, without the side effects!
For my next birth I will use Hypnobabies again & also prepare a ‘mother friendly ‘ cesearan plan in the case of an energency. There are many aspects you can tweak!
De commented on Apr 10 11 at 11:41 amTwo questions:
1. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfulling prophecy? (Think sonething is going to be bad and guess what?)
2. Does your attitude about everything in life stink as much as your attitude about your own ability to give birth?
Childbirth classes aren’t meant to teach you HOW to birth. You are a WOMAN – you already know how! What you really needed was a course in confidence building.
Meredith Carroll commented on Apr 10 11 at 11:47 am@De — Don’t be shy; tell me what you really think.
@Tracey — I live in a small area and took the only class available to me. The instructor was well aware of my fears. She couldn’t have known, however, that I needed more information about c-sections because no one knew I was having one until the moment it happened.
AMELIA commented on Apr 10 11 at 12:06 pmWow. Good job making women fear birth more than they already did. You doing such a great service to the world… Nothing like describing birth as bloody and painful rather than the most wonderful day that you met your new baby. Hard work? Yes. Life changing? You bet. Equivalent of a slasher film? No. (Maybe for YOU because you believed it to be so). So sad.
Meredith Carroll commented on Apr 10 11 at 12:18 pm@Amelia — On the contrary —– the day my daughter was born was far and away the best day of my life. Unfortunately the class I took made me think it would be otherwise. I regretted greatly that I didn’t look forward to giving birth more as a result.
Deena H Blumenfeld commented on Apr 10 11 at 1:41 pmIt sounds like this mom’s limited experience with a childbirth ed class has colored her view of any and all childbirth classes. It’s a shame, really. There are many options for childbirth classes. This class that she took sounds like a hospital class, short version. These classes are distinctly incomplete. However, if you don’t place priority on taking classes that will be more informative, you get what you pay for.
By not telling her instructor her expectations, she was the disappointed with the results. You must speak up if you have a question. Speak up if something you feel is important is being glossed over. Call or email your instructor after class if you have additional questions or feedback. Complaining to the internet blogosphere doesn’t actually correct the problem.
As an independent Childbirth Educator, the first question I ask my students is “If you were to have the baby tomorrow, what’s the one thing you need to know, tonight?” I get all of their questions answered. I help them to feel supported and cared for in class. I encourage discussion, and support their choices in childbirth and early parenting. I wish all educators could do the same.
Rita commented on Apr 10 11 at 3:48 pmMy childbirth education class was Bradley and 100% crap. It set up all the students for adversarial relationships with their doctors and midwives, convinced many that the pain was always tolerable even when an epidural is there in the hospital calling to them, and that giving birth has something to do with a woman’s inner strength. Bull.
I had two med-free labors. And you know what? They weren’t anything special. They just were. In fact, I was very disappointed when the first one was over, because I felt… nothing. No sense of accomplishment. Just a sense of, “Jesus, that hurt. WTF didn’t I get an epidural?”
Kelli commented on Apr 11 11 at 6:29 pmI took a hospital based class with my first which was a crock of baloney. I barely remember it at all. I ended up with a c-section, which I later found out was very unnecessary. However, determined for a vaginal birth the second time, I did my research and took a Bradley class with an instructor who taught independently from her home. It was awesome. I learned so much from that class that was useful, and when I found myself having a necessary c-section the second time, what I learned in class helped me to be at peace with that outcome. I knew I had done all I could, and the surgery was necessary for our safety. It was a real blessing.
Since those experiences I have become a CBE. I’m sorry your CBE made you feel nervous. Class should make women feel confident and give them the information they need to make decisions surrounding their births, communicate effectively with their care providers, and if they so choose offer techniques for natural birth/breastfeeding. Not only this, but explain medications, when they are needed, side effects, and risks vs. benefits, so a mother is prepared if she wants meds or needs them. I always tell my students that many of the breathing techniques, focusing, etc… are very useful regardless of how you give birth. I know the techniques got me through my second c-section without a racing heart or incident.
Tracey commented on Apr 11 11 at 8:23 pmI think your instructor could have given you the general guidelines of what happens during a cesarean if you needed that explained in more depth. Some websites to go to if you had trouble finding them yourself. With the cesarean rate being what it is and a little reading on the side effects of epidural you would have known that your chances were pretty good that you might have one. It sounds like you and your instructor might not have matched and instead of your post reflecting that you generalize about the birthing class being useless, which is very irresponsible. Your instructor isn’t just there to tell you about birth but to help you learn to educate and advocate for yourselves. Tall order in an 8 hr class, but that it what the birth plan is supposed to be for.
Meredith Carroll commented on Apr 11 11 at 8:32 pm@Tracey — Not sure how a post about how my experience was useless is “irresponsible” —- after all, it was my experience. No where in the post do I suggest that anyone else shouldn’t do what she wants in terms of birthing class. This wasn’t a “how-to” or “advice for other people” — just a recounting of my class and how unhelpful it was. And there were zero indications that I would need a c-section. If there had been, believe me, I would have known to skip the class. PS – the epidural played no part in me needed a c-section. That was all the fault of my pelvis.
Tracey commented on Apr 12 11 at 9:26 amWe are going to agree to disagree on this one I am afraid, but that is all good.
Asta Burrows commented on Apr 13 11 at 2:35 pmFor me, it was not worth going to birth class, as nothing about the birth went as planned anyway! At the class it all seemed so organised and structured, so silly me, I was not prepared for things not to follow “the plan” :-)
avhaas commented on Apr 15 11 at 7:30 amIn answer to your question — yes, but it depends upon the class. As a CBE of 15+ I have been keeping statistics and feed back and am presently using it for research into (in part) the effects of taking childbirth classes on the medical need for interventions.
There are a couple of issues that we focus on in researching this type of thing -
One is the necessity of medical interventions, and the other is the success of avoiding them. Why avoid them? Because they carry risks. Serious ones. And what most people do not realize is that the way that obstetrics is practiced in hospital settings actually places women at an increase risk for problems and interventions with additional negative side effects.
So if we are trying to avoid Medically unnecessary interventions for our health, and that of out babies, then what elements of Childbirth Education would make a difference? The short answer is a thorough 10 – 12 week course. Why? Because studies show that it takes that long for a human to assimilate a new concept, nutrition or exercise program. The bottom line so far has been that studies are showing classes that are 4 weeks make no difference in intervention rates. But when you raise the number of classes and the extent of the information you see a marked difference. Intervention rates of 80%+ drop down to 20% or below (depending upon birth location, but that’s another chapter). The result is also to see fewer health problems with both moms and babies. Which is truly the goal of educating ones self for the birth of your child.
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