Great points!!! I’m currently 38 weeks 4 days with our 3rd girl who I’m guessing is sitting around 10 lbs right now comparing how I feel with her compared to the other two. They came on their own with no “evictions” at 37 wks 3 days 8 lbs 11 oz and 38 wks 2 days 9 lbs 7 oz. Yes, I’m incredibly uncomfortable… hyperemesis and a pinched nerve in my hip. Still have ZERO plans of trying to get her out one minute sooner than she’s ready to come though! There’s a reason that most pregnancies are between 37 and 42 weeks long, babies are just as different on the inside as they are on the outside!

I have been uncomfortable to the point where yes, a part of me really wished that I could go into labor at 34 weeks. And my hip pain was so severe during my second pregnancy that I was barely able to function, and yes, I wanted my baby out. But then another part of me realized that there were significant things going on in my body that contributed to me feeling that way. I understand the “jealousy” in a way, I want to hold and kiss my baby, but then again, most of those that have their babies early aren’t getting to do that either.
Even with repeat c-sections, my earliest baby was born 39 weeks 2 days. Because I know it is best for them to bake as long as possible.

Thanks for this. I’m the mom of two precious preemie boys who passed away shortly after birth. Less than a year later I found myself in the hospital pregnant with my daughter experiencing complications (she was the exact age my boys were when they were born so I was terrified). While waiting to find out my daughter’s condition I overheard a woman caught lying about her due date because she wanted to be induced early. Time to grow up ladies. Trust me, you don’t want to be forced into having perspective on these things. We’re all miserable after 34 weeks, but it’s worth it!

I can’t believe there are actually women who want their babies to be born too early. I had to be induced the day before my due date, and my son was delivered by emergency c-section the next day. Even though he was basicaly healthy (only slightly jaundiced) and weighed in at 6 lbs. and 14 oz., I felt guilty (albeit irrationally) because evveryone kept talking about how small he was! I felt like if it wouldn’t have been for the health problems I had developed, he probably wouldn’t have come that early. Why someone would try to make that happen on purpose is beyond me.

OMG, I so belong to this same group. I’ve been telling my husband about all this drama in the group. I can’t believe people are upset that they can’t be induced at 34 weeks… it’s not even THAT BAD at 34 weeks!! People need to stop thinking about themselves!!

I absolutely agree.
I had my girl at 27 weeks and I was so horrified and worried. My husband had been deployed not two days before I was induced, and here I was alone, having my daughter a month before the due date.
Even at 27 weeks I was miserable, but I panicked when I knew I was going to have her so early. I was so lucky that she was healthy, healthier than I was in fact.

I was unlucky to have her early, but lucky she was such a healthy preemie.

I can’t believe some mothers. I agree with all the others. Of course it is uncomfortable. What did you expect when wanting a child, that it would be a breeze? The mentality of some women just makes me cringe. I’m now 36 weeks 4 days with my third child. My first was born only 4 days before her Estimated due date. My second was born at 40 weeks and 5 days, the day before they wanted to induce me. I had GD with my second and the doctors tried to tell me that they would not let me go too close to my due date because of all the associated complications. He was only 8 lbs 11 oz and perfectly healthy. I have GD again this time and the baby is already measuring 6 lbs 11 oz. I drop two months early and I am feeling like a beached whale, but this baby will come when he is ready and I would rather later than sooner to make sure he is healthy!

My son was born at 42.5 weeks and weighed 7 lbs 6 ounces. I hate to think what he would have been like at 40 weeks, let alone 34. Babies need as much time as they can get. Don’t put yourself in a position to regret a decision you made because of achey hips.

I’m in the same group and of course at almost 36 weeks I’m uncomfty BUT I was literally in shock about the moms trying to naturally induce labor ALREADY. If baby was ready you wouldn’t need to induce anything. I gave birth in front of a trillion people because the NICU team needed to be present with my 1st because she was born at 34.5 I luckily gave birth to a healthy 5+ lb baby but what about those who aren’t. To selfishly want your babies to enter the world early bc you no longer touch your toes,or are gaining too much weight,or ectectect think about the nicu,the feeding tubes,the difficulty breathing…doesn’t compare in the slightest!

A friend of mine’s grandbaby just passed from complications (lungs and infection) after being born at 34 weeks and being in NICU for less than a week… some babies are clearly not ready to be born and it makes me sad that even knowing the risks of premature birth, so many women just want to meet the baby and think nothing of the timeline their baby is developing on. I had a 44 1/2 week baby; I know you’re uncomfortable but the end result – a FULLTERM baby – is obviously worth the wait!

I am not sure what it is, but during the last stages of pregnancy, I think we go through some temporary insanity- from loss of sleep, pain, anxiety, etc. I wished my babies would come just about every day past 35 wks. I just kept hoping that day would “be the day”. But I also hoped that they would be healthy. I knew that whenever they came, it would be the right time. It is sad and scary that mothers would intentionally harm themselves or their child just to regain their comfort. As any mother out there knows, once the baby is “out” it’s harder than being pregnant. Some days, I would take hip pain and the kicks over the work it takes to be a parent. As long as pregnancy seems, it’s so short in the grand scheme of things and it is worth every last uncomfortable second.

As a NICU nurse and new mom, it makes me so sad to hear that moms want their baby to come early. I spend 12 hours a day with these tiny babies and can’t imagine what it would be like if my own were one of them. I am thankful everyday for my healthy baby boy who was born at 40 weeks 1 day. These women just have no idea what the little ones go through when they are in the NICU.

WOW. i’m shocked anyone would actually WANT to deliver that early. i had my daughter at 34 weeks, spontaneous rupture of membranes so there was no stopping the labor. my daughter THANKFULLY was born healthy and strong but she was still in the NICU for 13 days, needed to learn how to eat and gain weight. she was 5lbs and now i pull out her preemie clothes that fit her baby dolls. i just can’t believe she was that small. yes i was uncomfortable and crabby but i didn’t want THAT to happen. now that i’m pregnant with a boy, i’m 27 weeks and terrified of going early again. those days in the NICU were the longest 2 weeks of my life and my baby wasn’t even sick. people just don’t know…

My heart breaks for all you NICU moms who’ve shared your stories here. I’m completely foreign to the convenience of “designer birth” culture (i was blessed to have two homebirths, the first 40w6d and the second 41w3d) but find it reprehensible at best and abusive at it’s worst…lying about an edd for early induction, shame! The discomfort of pregnancy is nature’s parenting class. Those of us fortunate to finish a healthy pregnancy and bear a healthy baby should be thankful.

I have to agree completely. My daughter stayed in for 41 weeks too, and I wouldn’t have chosen to induce, ever (at about 42 weeks I think the midwives and doctor would have strongly encouraged or forced me to, but other than that …). I cannot understand what mothers who induce early (without any medical need to do so) are thinking.

Due dates are estimations, only. Even the latest, most high-tech ultrasounds are not perfectly accurate at judging development and size. Obviously, if you are at risk, or if something is happening and your baby is at risk, there are times when you need to “get the baby out”, but for the average person, let the baby decide!

Not only that, but there ARE complications that come with inductions! The contractions that occur with Pitocin are longer and stronger than naturally-occurring contractions. That can start decreasing the oxygen to the baby during labour, which can then lead to emergency measures, such as a C-section. They are also harder to handle than naturally-occurring contractions, which leads to more interventions for comfort during labour, such as epidurals. Epidurals can slow down labour and limit movement (movement of the mother helps to ease the baby down through the pelvis & encourages opening of the cervix), which then can also lead to further interventions. Labour is becoming more of a clinical procedure rather than the natural (and life-changing) event that it is.

For those Moms-to-be that are uncomfortable, why not see a qualified pregnancy massage therapist? There is a LOT we can do to help pelvic, back, and leg pain, especially if approached early! :)

Those women who are bitching about not having their babies at 34 weeks should be required to go to a NICU to see those babies who had no choice but to arrive early and to see their poor parents. If I was a midwife or OB that had a patient acting like that, I would take them to a NICU myself. That would get the message across that babies need as much time in the womb as they can get. I’ve known many women who were on complete bed rest for months, or had that rash that can show up during pregnancy, or ended up in the hospital sick as a dog with pregnancy caused complications, and each of them sucked up their extreme discomforts so their babies could gestate as long as possible. I was at the end of my pregnancy in the middle of summer, extremely exhausted due to me stopping breathing when I would sleep, but I just sucked it up, and my son came naturally at 38 weeks, completely healthy. (Though based on the day I ovulated and DTD it was full term.) Even though not as much happens the last few weeks of pregnancy compared to the rest of the pregnancy, it is still highly important. The organs are fine tuning their development, the lungs are finally maturing, the brain is making the final necessary connections for breathing and eating, and the baby is starting to store much needed fat. All of these functions are necessary so you are able to hold and love on your baby right after birth instead of having the ache of empty arms while your baby is alone in an incubator attached to machines. So suck it up ladies! It’s not that bad!

Tou have my permission to share my story with any of these ladies.

My 34 week preemie so, now 20 months old, might be on the autistic spectrum. He’s still too young to fully diagnose, but if he is, then it might be due to bring premature. I have you permission to share my store to these ladies, but now I’m begging you to. Don’t let their ignorance hurt their babies.

He has also consistently been 6 to 8 weeks behind on everything due to being 6 weeks premature. I had to wait until 13 weeks for that precious first smile, he didn’t sit up until 8 months, crawled at nearly 11 months and walked at 16.5/17.5 months. All completely normal for a 34 weeker, but still behind his peers.

I went overdue with all four of my babies. Two, possibly three weeks overdue for the first (dates were uncertain). Yep, 43 weeks of being pregnant for my first. 41 weeks for the fourth. And it was uncomfortable with the sciatica and the heartburn and the breathlessness. But as long as they were safe and healthy, I was happy to keep carrying them. I’ve witnessed a number of friends go through the anguish of having a baby before 35 weeks and would much rather stay pregnant until baby was ready to be born – even if that means seeing my due date come and go.

From someone who suffered cronic morning sickness with both my two pregnancies and delivered One little girl at 42weeks and the other one at 41+3weeks I can honestly say I would NEVER ever put my babies life at risk just because I was “over it”.

I didn’t start “bringing on labour” until I was past my “due date”. I have been lucky enough to never know anyone personally who has delivered a prem baby as I could only imagine how difficult it would be to do so.
Even if I had someone close to me that did, I would never be jealous of them.

I cannot believe the gall and ignorance of some people. I had my little boy (now 8) at 32 weeks and am gobsmacked that women are acting so negligent about their pregnancies. I felt cheated and suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Post Natal Depression after the birth of my son. Up until a year ago I blamed myself for his premature birth and subsequent hearing impairment due to it.
If women are wanting to put their children in danger from possible multiple health complications by opting for premature births by choice then what are they going to be like when the child is born. Absolutely ridiculous and I hope that doctors and midwives are not entertaining the thought at all. As a health professional myself, it would be below our duty of care to allow this to happen.

Wow some women are just stupid! there is no other excuse for it in my opinion. Take them for a walk in the NICU or special care where those Mum’s are with their premature babies who have arrived at 34weeks and earlier. Let them spend just 1 hour there surrounded by the sea of babies in little pods using all they have to just survive, then we will see how much they want their baby out?

My daughter Airlie Fae was born at 27weeks gestation and weigh only 861grams = 1lb 14ozs. I had Pre Eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome and she had to be born to save both my life and hers. It totally annoys me when healthy women whine about their pregnancies as they are blessed to be doing this in the first place. I didn’t get the whole part of the 3rd trimester, my baby had to be born when she should have been fattening up and storing her iron, so please don’t be so stupid as to wish your child would arrive early!
Airlie struggled to breath and survive in those first few weeks and the emotional toll it takes on a family is life changing. It is not an experience you just ‘want’ to have so those women on the forum are completely clueless. A little bit of suttle no make that slap them in the face education is needed!

How selfish is it to want to ‘have’ your baby or ‘want them out’ because you feel uncomfortable. Just think how your baby will feel with a tube down its neck or up its nose to help it breath… Just think how your baby will feel with a feeding tube down its nose or throat as it is too young to feed as it has not learnt yet how to use its sucking reflex correctly in conjunction with breathing air so early? Then stop and think how you will feel watching your baby endure this and remember you wanted them to come in the first place! Oh and don’t forget those hours you will spend expressing or hours spent teaching your baby to breastfeed as they are so little they get tired so you must try again next feed.

Just a friendly note to the forum girls, be careful what you wish for as you never know you might just get it!

For the record when the mother of a premmie hears that a pregnant woman would much prefer to ‘get it out’ is just heartbreaking. Too many babies are already born premature as it is. The heartbreak and the stress that you are under during this time while your baby is in NICU or Special Care is not to be wished for. A baby born of even 34weeks gestation usually doesn’t get to come home for some weeks and can have complications. They need to learn how to feed and breath together as well. In most cases they may not have life threatening complications like some prems born earlier but that doesn’t mean they aren’t completely free of complications.

oops the link is http://ohgorgeousbaby.blogspot.com/2011/04/no-no-no-no.html

Thank you for writing that. I had my baby at 26+3 weeks gestation and it was the biggest shock of my life! She spent 8 weeks in NICU and 4 in SCBU. My life stopped. I couldn’t do anything other than focus 110% on my baby. I think that my experience has made it very difficult for me to understand what it’s like to go to term and the added stress it places on your body. I find my blood pressure rising when I hear about women who want their baby out from 30 weeks!!!! I’ve come to realise though that the difference is women who are able to carry to term CHOOSE to be pregnant knowing full well what the side effects MIGHT be. I didn’t choose to have my baby early and I didn’t choose to spend 12 weeks of my life watching her go through untold pain and poking and prodding the whole time knowing she should’ve been tucked up neatly inside me making my life hell from the inside. Watching your baby go through this makes the “Morning sickness, cramps, peeing, constipation, pelvic pain and pressure, restless legs, throwing up, having a baby compacting our lungs, and everything else that goes along with pregnancy” seem like an acceptable trade off to me. But that’s my opinion and I come from a very different place when talking about this.

here here.. as the mother of 2 prem babies i am so jealous of mothers who take their babies home a couple of days after they have them. My first daughter was almost 7 weeks early.. and spent 3 weeks in Special care.. and now.. my son.. who was born 9 weeks early… is still in special care.. he i almost 5 weeks old and i invision him staying in hospital for another couple of weeks. I would much rather be a big fat whale and make it to 40 weeks then have my waters break at home and give birth 1 hour later to a baby who weighs 4 pound and can fit in his daddys hand !
Im lucky .. both my kids are doing so well for being born so early.. i wouldnt wish what my family has been through on anyone.. i dont know whats its like to leave hospital with my baby… its an empty feeling.. im sure every parent of a premi knows what i mean x

I have been through the torture of 12 weeks of NICU with severely premature twins born at 27 weeks. I have been amazed a the number of people who said to me ‘oh well, at least you didn’t have to go full term with them and had them before you got too big.’ To be honest, getting too big was the least of my worries when I went into labour at 26 weeks and 6 precious days were gained through drugs and hospital bed rest. I found myself so jealous of people who had term babies they could come straight home with. Try going to a NICU every day for 3 months with a 2 year old and see which you would prefer.

How dumb can some pleople be, really, I have 4 children 38 weeker, 35 weeker and the last, the twins were born at 29 weeks and we spent 16 weeks in hosiptal and have had 26 addmission since being home last july. The longer they are in you the better it is for them…Its about them, not the mother…so what if you are uncomftable or swollen and cant see your toes….you are about to become a mother, its what good mothers do…put their childrens needs before your own. Have your baby early means a greater risk of issues, more hosiptal visit, sick babies and not a happy way of life.

Wow. I cant believe women would do that. My baby was born at 27 weeks and i would have given anything in the world to have stayed pregnant. She was very sick and came home after 4 months on oxygen and was on oxygen until she was 18 months old. Do these silly women not understand the risks they are taking by doing this??? Complications can happen at any time but wouldnt u want to try and get as close as possible to ur due date to give ur child the best chance. I dont know how mums who get to thier due date can be jealous, i am jealous wen eva i see i beautiful pregnant woman close to her due date. I wish i could of carried my baby and helped her to be healthy. Pregnancy is tiring, painful, and labour hurts. But suck it up ladies!! Sitting next to ur child in the nicu willing them to live is a lot more tiring and painful in ur heart.

I have to say, you are absolutely right about the monthly due date boards! They are vile and toxic. I think these babies of ours will come when they are ready…I don’t even like the idea of being induced after 40 weeks…let em cook till they’re done!

Thank you for this! My sister-in-law had twin babies born prematurely at 27 weeks gestation. Luckily, they are healthy 6 year old girls now. I have had the conversation with my doctor that I do not want to be induced, he will essentially only push the issue at 42 weeks gestation after careful monitoring of mine and baby’s health. I’m currently 35 weeks 5 days and uncomfortable at times but honestly, I want this little girl to stay in as long as she possibly can. There are moments when I want her to come out now but those moments pass relatively quickly and I would NEVER intentionally do anything to try to go into labor early just for my own comfort! Parenthood (including pregnancy) is not about our convenience at all and anyone who thinks it is has so many more “surprises” around the corner for them once baby comes.

I agree with you. My son was born at 36wk & although we got lucky & he didn’t have any major medical problems you really don’t know. He had trouble latching on & nursing (luckily I worked hard & he was able to nurse after 2mos of pumping), he had trouble gaining weight (I had to borrow a baby scale & weigh him daily) he had jaundice & had to go back to the hospital for several days, and at the age of 2 he had a speech delay which is common with preemies. I don’t know why anyone would want to be induced unless it’s medically necessary. The nurses at the hospital told me they’ve even seen problems with babies born at 38 & 39 weeks you just don’t know how long your little one needs.

I am currently 33 weeks (well as of tomorrow) and cannot imagine as of next week asking my doctor to induce! That just seems like such an irresponsible decision for a parent to make! I have to be honest and the worst discomfort I’ve had right now is hip pain at night and of course being out of breath just from, well, breathing lol but still! Why would ANYONE who loves their child not care to see them hooked up to tubes and machines!? I don’t want to see an ADULT I love in that position so why in the world would you wish to see your tiny child in that position? I know they probably aren’t thinking about that but perhaps they should think more about the baby’s health than their comfort. :( I waited over 3 years to experience pregnancy and have loved and appreciated every moment I’ve gotten. Seems like another ‘symptom’ of a society that doesn’t appreciate how well they have things and how lucky they are…. :/

Although I agree with you (my first was overdue by almost 2 weeks, and had to be delivered by C-section b/ I was sick; and my 2nd was a 34 week preemie with health issues that required immediate surgery), this article and all the support you are getting is located in The wrong place. This article would be better put to work on the bulletin board of one of those groups, or read out loud at a meeting. The only way to counter act stupidity is with knowledge…you have to get to these girls early and explain to them the complications and possible outcomes of an early baby. My doctor wouldn’t have delivered me early if we could have helped it…but all the meds in the world were not stopping my youngest from making his debut. Any OB worth his name will not Voluntarily deliver babies early…

I don’t understand this idea that having a preemie is ok, it’s not. My son was born at 31 wks 2 days and weighed 2lbs. He was delivered due to my health issues so he was basically “healthy”. But he had to learn how to suck, swallow and breathe, which means for the 1st couple of weeks, nurses shoved a tube down his throat for feedings and you can’t truly hold your child when they are hooked up to a bunch of wires and you jump every time a machine alarm goes off. My friends always complain about how uncomfortable they are and how I am so lucky I did not have to go through that. I tell them they are lucky they will most likely never see the inside of an ICN.