Being Pregnant
Woman Tracks Down Estranged Father: Becomes Pregnant with His Child
Taking the phrase "Who's your daddy?" to a whole new level.
It’s your typical story, really. A woman decides to try to find her estranged birth father, a man she’s never met. Against the odds she succeeds and her efforts are rewarded with love. A love which soon manifests itself in the form of a child. As in the father’s child. With the daughter. Whom he impregnated. (There’s a Mackenzie Phillips joke in there somewhere that I’m not quite clever enough to pull off.)
Now, look, folks. I know this may come off as little more than me being all “old-school,” but typically speaking, I frown upon incest.
But this couple apparently does not. And assuming I can type around the chunks of vomit which are now strewn across my keyboard, I’m going to attempt to finish this post. But before I do, let me first throw this out there: I cannot believe that we missed this story. It was first reported last Thursday. A friend of mine just emailed me a link to a post written by Julie Ryan Evans over at The Stir which described the disturbing situation.
Penny Lawrence is a 28-year-old woman who lives in Ireland. She was raised by her maternal grandparents after her mother died when she was just four. Her father was never in the picture. Well, except to impregnate Lawrence’s mom who was living in the US when the couple met. But shortly after she became pregnant, he split. So Lawrence’s mom returned to Ireland.
Anyway, Lawrence’s grandparents died when the woman was 18. So she decided that she wanted to find her father, her only remaining living relative. She succeeds when she tracks down Garry Ryan, who lives in Texas. Things must have gone well. Sorta. Because according to Irish Central “the pair felt an instant physical attraction and they soon began a relationship. Lawrence is now pregnant with [Ryan's] child.”
I suppose it’s time to introduce the term: GSA — Genetic Sexual Attraction — which is used to describe the sexual attraction that sometimes occurs between adults who have never met but are actually closely related. And I reckon that’s what’s happened here.
Lawrence says that her therapist had warned her about GSA, but it seems as if she’s taken that warning and turned it into a thinly veiled form of justification. At least that’s what I’m gathering from the following statement she made to the Irish Sun Newspaper: “I did some research into [GSA]. I was stunned that some brothers and sisters, daughters and dads and mothers and sons were actually living happily as man and wife.”
Lawrence reports that the three-month pregnancy ultrasound revealed no defects. The couple plans to proceed with the pregnancy and is currently in the process of establishing a home together.
“It doesn’t feel as if we are doing anything wrong,” said Lawrence.
Yes. Well.
What do you think? Given that the two didn’t meet until they were adults, does that make this father-daughter pregnancy more acceptable in your book?
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35 Comments
Juli commented on Mar 28 11 at 2:57 pmIf they had met by accident, never knowing they were father and daughter, and this had happened, then, while still finding it highly creepy I would have to say maybe they should make the best of it (I cannot tell you how difficult it was to type that). That she went looking for her biological father and knowingly they both made the decision to pursue an intimate relationship, knowing (one would hope so at least) a child who is a product of incest has a higher probability of being born with congenital birth defects, is painfully disturbing and I would be concerned about their ability to properly care for the child. After all, he left her mother while she was pregnant with her and now she feels he is suddenly a good candidate to father his own grandchild. So I guess I am in the “I don’t find it acceptable” boat even though these two people entered into a creepy, incestuous union of their own free will as consenting adults.
Katy E commented on Mar 28 11 at 3:06 pmNo, this is bat$#!+ crazy. Not ok. Not even a little. I cannot get on board with this. In fact, it hurts my heart a little(ok, a LOT) for that poor, sweet, innocent little baby who’d be his/her own uncle/aunt. I cannot imagine being raised amongst such ickyness.
marlena commented on Mar 28 11 at 3:18 pmAll I could think of was, this must be an April Fool’s Day post. Then I realized it’s still March…there is a reason most people feel queasy when they read these weird incest stories. I’ve never heard of an incest defender because there just aren’t any.
Ashley commented on Mar 28 11 at 4:03 pmI think I remember reading somewhere that children that are the product of incest are not really as prone to genetic defects as one would assume. I think the risk was only like 1 or 2 percent higher than average. This definately makes me want to gag a little, but well… they’re consenting adults.
Aaron commented on Mar 28 11 at 5:15 pmGiven that recent battles for homosexual rights have gone along the lines of “Hey, we’re consenting adults! We may make you squeamish, but nobody is hurt, and it makes us happy,” I don’t see any reason not to believe that incest could well be what the next generation hates us for in our close-mindedness.
Also: well, maybe it’ll be robots.
Also: we allow scat and S&M enthusiasts to practice their horrifying fun in the privacy of their own homes. Lashing out against existential discomfort tends not to be viewed well 500 years down the line.
Not that I’m comfortable with it. I’m probably going to be one of the old men making rude remarks about my incestuous nephew-and-niece-in-laws while peeing in my spacesuit.
Diera commented on Mar 28 11 at 5:24 pmThey’re consenting adults, it’s not like it’s an underage daughter being molested by her dad, so I guess… if I were a prosecutor in whatever jurisdiction is relevant, I probably wouldn’t try and prosecute them, creepy as it is. But what would have to be WRONG with you to be meeting your biological father/daughter for the first time and have this be the direction your thoughts went? I mean, OK, maybe there’s some genetic basis for the attraction, but in every current human society this is an inappropriate relationship and you would think they would know that. For some reason I have had more sympathy when I’ve read about adult sibling relationships in the past (like that famous German couple), there’s something about a parent-child relationship that is the ultimate in wrong.
Juli commented on Mar 28 11 at 6:07 pm@ Ashley, Dr.Patricia Baird & Dr. Barbara McGillivray conducted a study on children of brother-sister or father-daughter matings for The Journal of Pediatrics. They reported in a group of 21 children, 12 had congenital abnormalities, which were severe in nine (43%). Whoever is reporting there is only a 1% to 2% chance risk of abnormalities was probably screwing his sister.
Patrick (yeah, that one) commented on Mar 28 11 at 6:26 pmFirst of all, JCO owes me a new keyboard. I’m just throwing this one away. :-
Secondly, now that I have a replacement non-vomit-cluttered keyboard, my response to this news item is one of bad one liners, my usual way of dealing with things I don’t want to fathom. Bad examples follow:
Whatever he had that attracted her mom, obviously it’s still working.
I wonder if he’ll bolt this time too?
If he does bolt, what happens in 19 years when his daughter/granddaughter comes looking for him?And it just goes downhill from there…
I think this is wrong on many levels, but it isn’t my place to try to tell two people who feel they are in love about why I feel their decision is wrong. Firstly, because I’m not an almighty being and I can’t actually see what is going on in their heads and hearts (though I can make some safe bets about what’s going on in their loins), and secondly they won’t listen to me or anyone else anyway.
That said, this is still just a wow moment. A cringe-worthy one.
Patrick (yeah, that one) commented on Mar 28 11 at 6:27 pm@ Juli, not that I am disagreeing with your point in the slightest, but 21 children is too small a sample size to draw any scientific conclusions from. It’s just bad science.
mary commented on Mar 28 11 at 8:05 pmYeah 21 people does not a study make. These people are kinda gross and obviously unstable. I can’t wait till he runs off from this one in 6 months
Jessie commented on Mar 28 11 at 8:50 pmEeeewww!
Francesca commented on Mar 28 11 at 9:15 pmJust no. And if you are going to hook up with your dad/daughter the least you can do is sterilize yourself beforehand. Even if the child is physically fine once he/she finds out about grandpa/dad child will most likely have some serious trouble dealing with that. As if we all did not have enough problems, to find that little gem out. I get the connecting adults thing, freaky but whatever, but making a child, no.
NoAdditives commented on Mar 28 11 at 9:21 pmI read a similar story a few years ago about a father and daughter in Australia. My reaction is the same now as it was then: eeww. I don’t care if she wasn’t raised by him, he’s still her biological father, it’s still incest, it’s still wrong. I never new my dad, I met him when I was 24. There has been no sexual attraction whatsoever. There’s not a lot of love or anything else for that matter, but it can be difficult to form familial relationships as an adult.
Catherine commented on Mar 29 11 at 12:29 amSeriously..someone needs some help…let’s start with the kid that’s going to be born of this sick and disgusting twisted freak of a relationship.
And in all honesty..he took off when her mom was pregnant and never gave a crap..what the heck would you want a relationship with someone like that! Good lord..get some freaking therapy!
Chase McFadden commented on Mar 29 11 at 6:52 am“Typically speaking, I frown upon incest.” What a curmudgeon.
So if we put aside the percentages and possibilities of physical defects or genetic abnormalities, how about the fact that this child will at some point learn that of all the pontential mates in the world, his/her mom decided to do his grandpa. Media being what it is today, they’ll never be able to shield the child from that. Just seems like the potential for a fair amount of phsycosis.
Plus, imagine the confusion when this kid brings the same person for the elementary school’s “Donuts for Dads” day and “Grapefruits for Grandpas” day. Brutal.
r1g0r commented on Mar 29 11 at 7:40 amseriously, this isn’t from the letter column in one of those little magazines you need an I.D. to purchase?
“Dear FAMILY LOVE editor,
you’ll never believe what happened to me over summer vacation…”well, at least jerry springer will have somebody NEW to interview.
Suebee commented on Mar 29 11 at 10:14 amI took a shower an hour ago, but I feel like I need another. :P
weaselmomma commented on Mar 29 11 at 10:39 amThis is just plain old sick. I’m with you on this John, not that that is a surprise.
Paula commented on Mar 29 11 at 11:41 amJohn, this was not her estranged father. This was her biological father who had relinquished her via adoption. Big difference. Still disgusting, but worth noting in that I don’t think it’s fair to birth parents to be characterized as “estranged” from their birth children. Either way, the story is pretty repulsive.
Christa commented on Mar 29 11 at 11:54 amI’m actually more offended about the Mackenzie Phillips joke remark.
Julie commented on Mar 29 11 at 11:57 am@Aaron.. are you really comparing homosexuals to those in incestuous relationships. Not even in the same boat. Come on.
Sherry commented on Mar 29 11 at 12:13 pmUm, NO. No, no, no. And this was totally an episode of SVU.
kat commented on Mar 29 11 at 12:26 pmI think the guy is a total pervert, the girl is stupid in every way, and I feel so so sorry for this baby! They are going to grow up in the creepiest family and get teased so hard and be totally traumatized. Lord help them.
adriana commented on Mar 29 11 at 12:33 pmNo….it’s not o.k..not a little. I had and absentee father growing up..saw him when I was 24…the only desire I had was to keep in touch with my half-sibling.
Incest is never o.k.
susan commented on Mar 29 11 at 12:41 pmUgh :o( Really people, when you consider the odds of how many people there are in the world to have relationships with – the father/grandfather/daughter thing just isn’t working for me. Ewwwwww
Robin Bowman commented on Mar 29 11 at 1:39 pmI in know way see that this is right. Incest is wrong and should never happen! Both these people should have their heads examined, because something ain’t right. Besides, what if he leaves her to raise the child alone, and the child is a girl and history repeats itself? The grossness factor just keeps growing! I mean, really, what is to stop him from sleeping with his other kid if it is a girl? This whole thing is bad, there is no way around it.
Tracey - JustAnotherMommyBlog commented on Mar 29 11 at 6:16 pmI thought it was illegal to marry that closely? Are they married?
I am at a loss for a definitive feeling on this one. I can see how she would be desperate for a father-figure type of mate and well, this guy is DEFINITELY a Father-Figure. It’s a bit extreme, though. And quite unsettling, especially when I think of how that child may feel. It’s too bad they didn’t keep it quiet for the baby’s sake…
That said, if they ARE married then I am furious that this can pass and gay marriage is not allowed. Incest has always been something that society finds uncomfortable. I’m actually intrigued about how my opinions on this may be in a few days after I mull it over, though. Consenting adults and all… Having many friends who have fought for the rights to live and be who they choose to be as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else has forced me to consider options I might not normally have considered.
Also, I would hate to think that the greater risk of birth defects would be a deciding factor on any relationship or decision to have a child. This brings to mind a “Gattaca” type of existence where the government could determine who can breed and who cannot. I kind of like the gamble that we all take when we get pregnant. Some of the most beautiful and amazing people in the world are not genetically “perfect.”
sarah commented on Mar 29 11 at 7:33 pmfrickin disgusting! i sure pray that precious child doesnt have to grow up in this house hold.
johncaveosborne commented on Mar 29 11 at 7:40 pm@Tracey — i don’t think they’re married, but the article made it sound like that was a possibility. i’d double check, but i sorta don’t wanna read it again! (it’s great to hear from you!)
@Paula — you are, indeed, correct. there is a difference and estranged was the wrong word.
wowzers commented on Mar 29 11 at 8:02 pmso the baby will be the mother’s child/sibling and the father’s child/grandchild. hmm…
…not to mention the genetic defects that can occur as a result of incest.
T. Lucas commented on Apr 01 11 at 6:39 amHell to the NO!!!! Im just shaking my head right now. That is ridiculous and they both need to be smacked!!!
MamaJarly commented on Apr 01 11 at 8:07 amI met My Biological Father nearly 9 years ago. NEVER did either of us feel the need to have sex with each other. THAT’S DISGUSTING!!! the fact that these two did proves a very obvious mental problem with the both of them. and just because the ultrasound didn’t reveal any physical defects, doesn’t mean the child won’t have anything wrong mentally. there is a perfectly -good- reason that the laws on marriage when it comes to inter-family is in place. and why it’s taught in school what happens to children who are the products of incest.
DenaLynn commented on Apr 01 11 at 9:28 amOk first of all EEWWWWWW. If she didnt know that he was her biological child what about the age difference. Seriously. Second, what is gonna happen to this child when its growing up and going to school. Kids are very cruel and you really think that no one is gonna say anything to him/her about their grandpa being their father. It is so wrong on every level. How selfish could these two so called adults be? I feel so bad for this child. Lets hope and pray that this child doesnt grow up to have some major mental issues. If God forbid they do I hope the (and I use this term lightly) parents will be very proud of themselves. for screwing up a innocent childs life.
Kelli commented on Apr 14 11 at 1:48 am@Patrick & @Mary: let’s just be glad they could only find 21 candidates for their “study”.
KK commented on Jan 15 12 at 2:09 pmThe comments here are so insensitive. No, I haven’t been in a situation similar, nor has anyone in my family. But I’m able to understand human conditions. I’m sure that the daughter had a strong desire to feel loved by a male authority, and her father liked feeling needed. I cannot vouch for the breadth of these people’s feelings, but how dare others falsely presume and ostracize these people. You never know what situations life will offer you and how you’ll handle them. You can always say what you “wouldn’t do”, but the fact is that you never know what you’re true boundaries are until they are fully exercised.
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