Being Pregnant
Why Isn’t It Assault When A Medical Professional Does It?
I wish I could go on in the childbirth community for the rest of my lifetime without hearing another story of serious violation to a pregnant or birthing woman. During pregnancy, and while a woman is in labor, they are in an extremely venerable position, and expect their provider to respect them, and be someone they can trust to protect them.
Unfortunately that is not always the case, and the more I read on the internet or speak with women, the more I realize that assault by providers is a serious problem.
This week a friend of mine on facebook linked a post about a certified nurse midwife assaulting a patient in her final weeks of pregnancy, and forcing her into unnecessary, and unwanted medical procedures, and my heart broke as I read the paragraphs described by the woman’s sister.
For her 38 week appointment, my sister had scheduled to see a Certified Nurse Midwife who was labeled “natural birth friendly” at the office. Upon arrival her blood pressure was taken and was slightly elevated, but not alarmingly. The midwife came in and began a series of questions which were obviously meant to help establish concerns for preclampsia. My sister did not have these symptoms, and said so. (She also did not have protein in her urine.) She did mention she had been under tremendous stress lately and began rattling off a list of the overwhelming things going on right now, to which the midwife condescendingly snorted, “Your stressed because of birthday parties and cleaning house??” She then said, “Well I’m about to make you a whole lot more stressed,” and with my sister on the examining table, naked and exposed, proceeded to STRIP HER MEMBRANES as my sister cried, “No please don’t strip my membranes, I don’t want it to be like this!”
My sister became hysterical, crying as the midwife then retook her blood pressure (which was now 175/98) and told her she had preclampsia and needed to be induced. When the midwife left the exam room, my sister phoned me, and I advised her to get the hell out of that office as quickly as she could!
At this point I had to minimize the screen for a moment and compose myself. It bothered me, hell days after the fact it still bothers me, big time. This patient openly denied a procedure, and repeatedly told her provider no and she did it anyways. Something happening way too often in our maternity care system today, all over the country.
Of course I couldn’t stop reading, and her sister went on to share the story which then began to borderline serious harassment:
Back to my sister. She went home an absolute wreck – crying, on edge, thoroughly devestated by the violation which had just transpired. But she began monitoring her blood pressure with the help of her general MD and a relative who is an EMT. While her blood pressure went down considerably, it remained above normal, but only just. The midwife proceeded to call her – and every relative whose number she could find – to try to get her back (malpractice fears and damage control??). By the next morning, my sister deicded to go get the baby checked out. She went into the hospital where she was immediately put on pitocin, despite the fact that the baby looked good and had good stats. My sister’s blood pressure? 127/79.
There was no preclampsia.
Can you even imagine being in the shoes of this poor woman? Not only being harassed herself, but having her family harassed as well because she is not complying with the recommendations of this specific provider. What if she had changed practices? What if she no longer wanted to continue her care with them, which is certainly what it sounds like after being virtually assaulted in the office.
In the year 2006, 600 women in one day, and over 232,000 women were sexually assaulted in the United States. How did this provider not know this woman was never the victim of sexual assault, or rape?
If this person was not a medical care provider, there could be serious assault charges… I just cannot wrap my head around how anyone can find this type of story, or situation acceptable… or even how the provider herself could justify her own actions.
photo: flickr.com/megyarsh
Go Back To Being Pregnant
12 Comments
Beth commented on Feb 20 11 at 12:17 pmThanks for sharing my sister’s story. The most heart breaking part was having her ask me over and over as this drama unfolded, “Why do they want to get her out so badly? What are we doing that they want her out so much?” Because it’s the one question to which I think there is no practical response, and I never did know how to reply adequately. There is just no easy way to explain to a woman being put through this sort of abuse that it all comes down to money and convenience. :-(
Danielle625 commented on Feb 20 11 at 12:30 pm@Beth – Thank you for writing about it. These stories need to be in front of women so they don’t have to go through it also. I am horribly sorry for what happened to your sister, and I do hope she finds comfort one day after going through this. :(
Kendall commented on Feb 20 11 at 3:38 pmThat’s sickening and disturbing.
I have had generally positive experiences with doctors and nurses when I had all three of my babies. I refused epidurals and monitoring, etc. so I can attest to the fact there still are many docs and nurses out there that practice wonderful patient care.
I am sorry for how your sister was treated and agree that whomever that was needs to be fired fast; and patients, particularly pregnant mothers should never be treated so inhumanely.
http://thisishappilyeverafter.blogspot.com/
1001petals commented on Feb 20 11 at 5:11 pmYep, I was assaulted by a midwife while in labour. It was absolutely horrible.
I’m glad this is being spoken about. People need to know.
Diera commented on Feb 20 11 at 6:19 pmI suspect legally it *is* assault. It certainly should be. I remember reading the advice somewhere when I was pregnant that the most effective words to yell in that situation are, “I do NOT consent to this!” ‘Consent’ is such an important word in the medical world that that may get someone’s attention when ‘no’, ‘stop’, and ‘please’ don’t. But how horrible that it even has to come to that. For the record, I did have one medical professional do something to me that I didn’t approve of, but when I told her to stop she did at once, so I have never suffered this, but I can’t imagine how helpless a person would feel.
Christy commented on Feb 20 11 at 6:29 pmYet another heartbreaking story, and another deeply traumatized woman, and another baby denied a normal, natural, gentle birth. I just don’t think women are likely to find good care for normal birth in a hospital setting. Homebirth is on the rise, and many women choose so because of a traumatic hospital birth. Medwives like the one described above, are often mistaken by their clients for midwives. I’ve been blessed to have true midwives, who would never do the things done to this lady. For an uninterfered with birth, women basically need to stay home, and either find a true hands off midwife, or go unassisted, which is also growing in popularity.
Kathy FlorCruz commented on Feb 20 11 at 8:35 pmTotally agree with Christy on her comments. I too was blessed with great & skilled midwives. My daughter was a homebirth in 78 after I had a terrible experience in a hospital birth in 73, & my last baby also a homebirth in 84. Home birth is on the rise for a VERY valid reason. Women are TIRED of being treated like brainless birth machines in hospitals, & even the ones who try to have a hospital birth without all the forced interferences find it nearly impossible to do so. We should not have to fight off an assault during labor & delivery. In my case in 73, I actually kicked the hand & arm out of me- of some random intern who was sent into my room to examine my cervix DURING a contraction-did not even address me-look me in the eye-just rammed his fingers in me. THAT is assault.
Cindiego commented on Feb 21 11 at 12:21 amWhat a sad story. I want to say that I had two great births with certified nurse midwives — the majority of them are wonderful.
Mamapoekie commented on Feb 21 11 at 3:08 amI had started gathering stories for an article about Birth trauma for my blog, but what I read was so horrifying that to this day, I am unsure if I can publish the accounts
It is unbelievable that women are being submitted to such inhumane treatment and if they dare speak up, they are frowned upon or bullied or called attention seekers etc
Emily commented on Feb 21 11 at 9:41 amThis is heartbreaking. I have actually witnessed myself a birth that was the most violent thing i have ever witnessed in my life. All because the OB thought that he had a right to do whatever he wanted. It seemed as though he had some sort of vendetta against my client (I’m a doula) because she kept on refusing a c-section in favor of seeing if her induction was going to work (doc was trying to force her into a c-section a mere 2 hours after they started the pitocin drip). he ended up using a suction cup to get the baby’s head out which PERMANENTLY damaged the baby’s skull (baby still has a pump on his head the size of the suction cup and he is nearly a year old) AND the mother’s genitals were mutilated by an unnecessary episiotomy (doc placed the suction cup onto baby’s head TWICE before he cut an episiotomy…both times the cup was inserted with room to spare. The suction cup popped off of the baby’s head three time and blood was sprayed all over the room, the ceiling and over all of the attendants. It was the most gruesome thing I’ve ever witnessed…a c-section would have been more humane and I believe the doctor was punishing her for refusing to have one…
Candice commented on Feb 21 11 at 1:54 pmAs a nurse I feel I can speak to the legality of this issue…..laying your hands on someone without permission IS assault and it IS illegal. Bottom line, period, end of story. @Beth….if it were me I would consider pressing charges.
Alex commented on Jul 02 11 at 1:37 amMy birth experience was almost the same thing you witnessed Emily. But I was trying for all natural and the Dr I ended up having just didn’t seem to know anything about that or want to deal with it…even the nurses seemed surprised that I didn’t want any interventions. On top of that the doc just wouldn’t listen to me…she had her hand it me and then was talking about how I was swelling(WELL NO ISH YOU HAVE YOUR HAND WHERE IT DOESN’T BELONG!) and she would talk about random stuff and took a phone call on her cell all kinds of crazy stuff. I told her I could push better squatting but she wanted me to lay back. Only one nurse seemed really willing to work with me. They all seemed shocked by the Drs lack of professionalism and they all told her the book says you can only do the suction twice…She said she didn’t get it on right the first two times and did it a third and my baby had a huge blood clot on her head. Though the clot went away, after a torturous week in the hospital, I will live every day worrying that something may have been permanently damaged due to this trauma. And I beat myself up thinking about how I should have been stronger and told her to just go away and done it the way I know it is supposed to be done. THis needs to be shared and talked about more…people need to know and become educated about their rights and be built up to have to confidence to trust their own bodies more than these Drs/Midwives. I am deff. having a home birth next time!
Add your take:
Note: Babble is a supportive, diverse community. We encourage a range of opinions,
but any unduly hostile comments will be removed.
Comments are delayed up to 15 minutes






Aela Mass
Casi Densmore-Koon
Rebekah Kuschmider
CaitlinHTP (Caitlin Boyle)
Michelle Horton
Ceridwen Morris
Katie
Devan McGuinness
The Walt Disney Company supports Babble as a platform dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent and open conversation about parenting. However, the opinions expressed on this site are those of individual parents/writers and do not reflect the views of Disney. In addition, content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or safety advice.

12