Babys First Year Blog

On Breastfeeding (NIP) in Public. Big Whoop

Posted by selena mae on February 9th, 2012 at 2:53 pm

091 On Breastfeeding (NIP) in Public. Big WhoopIt’s quite the topic these days, isn’t it? I suppose I understand why – but that doesn’t make it any less obnoxious. To me anyways. I know there are others who would concur.

I also know there are others who would not.

Obnoxious, because – really? While I understand some reasons behind a woman not wanting to nurse in public, like being uncomfortable or not wanting to make others uncomfortable…I think that the key word we are misusing here is, ‘reason.’

When really, they are issues. I can understand that. Having issues is not so much a bad thing. We all have them. Creator KNOWS I have them.

When delved into, really and truly – deeply delved into? We would find that many of these issues reside out of basic cause and reaction. It’s been such a topic of controversy, for so long, I can’t blame anyone really – for feeling uncomfortable about it. Or categorizing it as inappropriate because they are sexual organs.

Yes, yes – it’s all deeply personal. From those who are uncomfortable with NIP  (nursing in public), themselves, or seeing someone else do it. Should that be respected? I suppose. But I’m not sure. Just being honest here. It’s complicated – because often others who NIP in public….aren’t. Respected. Told how and where to do if absolutely necessary. Under a cover, in the bathroom, pump and bring bottles, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Really? Would you like to eat in a bathroom? N.A.S.T.Y.

Me right here? I have big bazoonga’s. No matter how I might try to be discreet about it, someone’s gonna see something. Not because I’m whipping them out and crying for all the world to hear, “lookit meeeee! Lookit me and mah boooobies!”

However. Let’s just be clear about who’s brandishing what and how. When on the rare occasion (not so rare back in the day),  I wear a deeply low cut top? Then yes. Then, I’m being an exhibitionist.

Okay, so the whole, ‘pumping to make bottles for feedings in public’ reasoning. Because if we don’t? Lazy. Those name-callers would never consider that the act of pumping bottles to feed one’s baby in public would perhaps contradict a mother’s belief system in that BF’ing (at home, in public, wherever), is a completely natural form of nurturing and sustenance. So why on earth would she go out of her way to do something she does not believe in? Or maybe that mom is having one helluva time with BF’ing and has to latch her baby to her breast every chance she can get to promote milk production or improve her latch. Also? Babies, especially little babies are not on, and do not comply with – a set schedule for feedings.

Which brings me to the whole bossy-pants wear a cover-up manifesto. Firstly, most moms are B.U.S.Y. The amount of wrangling that it takes to get all suited up just to NIP with a cover-up on, especially if one has other younger children to care for? Fahgetaboutit. Not to mention that a very large percentage of babies are not down with having something draped over their head while eating. Especially if it’s hot. Especially if they can’t see anything. Would you like to eat with a sheet over your head? Babies are not these tiny little humans that we can do all sorts of things to that we wouldn’t do to ourselves. Well, okay maybe they are. Oh, you know what I mean.

It’s no news flash that society in general has one messed up idea of sexuality, what’s okay and what’s appropriate. Conflicting ideas. Mired in ignorance, misogyny, and unfortunately, disgust. Met by qualitative, whacked out theories on arousal, immodesty, exhibitionism, intimacy and nutrition.

This clever note as found on Baby Center makes no qualms about debunking every single argument against NIP, pretty sure she didn’t miss anything…an excerpt:

But our society views breasts as sexual.  If the majority feels that way, doesn’t that make them sexual?

The fatal flaw in this argument is twofold.  First, simply because a belief is held by a large group of people doesn’t make it correct.  For instance, Hinduism and Christianity are mutually exclusive, contradictory belief systems that can’t both be true, yet each is believed by very large numbers of people.

Second, societal views are not static and can change very quickly.  Women wearing pants was considered risque by the majority in the U.S. until the 1970s.  Less than twenty years later, when I was a child, the overwhelming majority of women wore pants, and almost no one saw anything offensive about it.  What changed those attitudes?  Women wearing pants.

In fact, the notion that breastfeeding is sexual is itself a newcomer to American society.  In 1938, the government (via the Works Progress Administration) ran pro-breastfeeding poster ads that portrayed a woman breastfeeding, with no resulting outcry.  (To put this in context, the Motion Picture Production Code that banned all perceived immorality or risque content from Hollywood productions was in full effect by 1934.)  The idea of breastfeeding being sexual or abnormal didn’t become the norm until formula did, which wasn’t until somewhere between 1940-1950.  As with the normalization of women’s pants, the transition from “breastfeeding is normal” to “breastfeeding is obscene” in the public consciousness took less than a generation, and occurred because people stopped seeing breastfeeding women.

Since societal norms are so changeable and are rarely based in any kind of science or absolute fact, they make a very shaky foundation for an argument.  This is especially true because, as illustrated in the case of women wearing pants, what changes society’s views is simply seeing something more(or less).  If women simply wear pants, or breastfeed in public, it soon becomes accepted and normal.  In fact, breastfeeding in public is already highly accepted as normal–45 out of 50 states and the District of Columbia have passed laws stating that a woman has the right to breastfeed anywhere she and her infant are otherwise allowed to be, two other states have passed laws stating that public breastfeeding is not indecent exposure, and the federal government has passed a law stating that women have the right to breastfeed anywhere on federal property they and their infants are legally allowed to be.  Now that’s a majority opinion.

Now look. Me personally? I unleash the controversial wrath that are my breasts; to feed my baby, when and where I darn well need too. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there are times I am uncomfortable when a dude ogles. Or when a woman looks at me with disdain. Even worse, at times with outright disgust. That? Makes me SO sad. It’s all rather despairing even. That many of these devout haters of NIP are women. GAH. I don’t even know where to begin with that one. Do you?

Are you a NIP mama? I’m not talking exclusively – obviously. When you need to. What are your thoughts on the arguments?

Read the whole article: Every Argument Against NIP Debunked

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 On Breastfeeding (NIP) in Public. Big Whoop

8 Comments

Omg that picture is HILLARIOUS lol

Human commented on Feb 09 12 at 5:12 pm

It deffinately is generational, while my mom is an advocate of breast feeding she was always very concerned with me being covered in public, something my babe was never a fan of. If she only knew of the things we used to do back in the day LOL

Jen commented on Feb 10 12 at 9:11 am

I love that link! I didn’t nurse in public at first, I either pumped a bottle or found a changing room/nursing room at the mall. One day, my son was hungry and I just didn’t feel like finding a changing room, so I sat down in an armchair in the middle of the mall and nursed him. No nipples were seen, DS was happy, and from then on I had no problem with NIP. I never looked to see if anyone was annoyed, I was too busy looking at my sweet baby.

Shannon commented on Feb 10 12 at 9:17 am

I nurse wherever I need to. Granted I got one of those lightweight covers with that little metal band that allows you and baby to make eye contact. It is for me though, not everyone else. I don’t want people seeing my flub when my shirt comes up, or that my undershirt has milk stains. I walked around the neighborhood with my other kids on Halloween nursing the baby cause hey, he was hungry and I could. Standing in line to see Santa at Busch Gardens, yup, nursed him. The lady behind me was impressed. Sitting in a comfy chair at my gyms smoothie bar, you betcha. Drank a smoothie, nursed the baby, facebooked on my phone. Having dinner with the hubs at a restaurant, baby is hungry, I feed him while I eat my salad. And I see others doing it too. Keep it up! It’s what our sweater puppies were made for! And so what if someone says that it’s “sexual”? If making the best decision for my baby is sexy, stick me on Maxim’s top 100 list, right next to my best friends and the women from my birthing class!

Jen commented on Feb 10 12 at 9:56 am

I NIP except around my older male relatives (like my Dad, FIL, etc). That’s just too weird for me. At first I used a cover, but it’s impossible now that my baby is older and just yanks it off. Plus, I don’t really care if people see or are uncomfortable.
I agree that if the public sees it regularly, then it will be considered normal. I feel like NIP without a cover is doing a public service. We’re opening minds for the benefit of women and babies who come after us.

Sara commented on Feb 10 12 at 10:28 am

The fact that this is even a debate is horrifying to me. Feeding my child and the reaction it may or may not garner from strangers is not something I should ever have to worry about, whether I’m breast feeding or not.

Sarah R commented on Feb 10 12 at 1:19 pm

I’m breastfeeding in my car as I write this and it has definitely taken me some time to be comfortable with NIP. I usually pack a bottle of formula if I’m going out with both kids as I’m sure I would show more than I wanted if my toddler suddenly made a break for it while feeding my baby. I’ve never been made to feel ill at ease while NIP in places like the airport or the mall–I think it’s more of something that I had to get over. But that may be more because of where I live (Seattle). Posts like these make me feel more comfortable feeding my baby in public–so thank you!

Krista commented on Feb 10 12 at 1:57 pm

When I first started to nurse my daughter, I felt pretty self conscious about it, but not because of the act but because other mommas around me made such a big deal of covering up! Finally I just decided to not care about what others thought and just do my own thing. Maybe they have body issues, maybe they’re super conservative or maybe they feel they need to cover because everyone else does it. Whatever. I’m too busy making sure that my kid is getting fed properly and getting on with my life. The best time was travelling in Italy when my dd was 9 months old. We were in Florence, sitting in a piazza with these beautiful marble statues and I found a corner to sit in and nurse. The security guard strolls by and gives a ‘no food’ warning to the couple sitting next to me who were munching on a sandwich, sees me with baby, smiles and continues on his way. It was fabulous.

snakecharmer commented on Feb 10 12 at 3:05 pm

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