Babys First Year Blog
Opinions are Like Nipples, Everyone Has A Couple
I took this photo of my best friend’s baby a couple of weeks ago.
I am by no means a newborn photographer. I just have a decent camera, understand a bit about lighting and angles and so I took a few photos of her new squashy baby for a birth announcement. Towards the end I told her about a photo I had seen with a tiny little baby on a bookshelf. Emily LOVES to read and her bookshelf is also piled with sweet mementos from the last decade or so with her husband and three other kids. In fact I took the photo of her oldest daughter on the bottom shelf the first day we ever hung out as “mom friends.”
She said “Hey! Let’s put my baby on my bookshelf!” So we did. He’s lying on top of a book titled Beautiful Boy and despite how unsafe it looks, Emily is less than an arms length away off camera. She loved how it turned out, and knowing Emily so well it fits her style perfectly. Books, babies and memories. Yep, that’s Emily.
Somehow the photo made it to Pinterest and despite nearly 600 repins and 150+ likes, I can’t seem to get over some comments that are less than…pleasant.
It’s not your baby, no one is making you look at the photo…so saying mean things is just kind of, mean.
I’ve developed a pretty thick skin over the past several years living a part of my life out online and it fascinates me how safe some people feel behind a computer screen to say things that they would never say in person or out loud.
I was telling my friend tonight that despite receiving compliments throughout my lifetime, whenever I hear a compliment one comes to the forefront of my mind faster than any other. It was from a guy I didn’t even know, I was about 20 and after pushing his hand away he responded with “Don’t flatter yourself, you’re ugly.”
Oof.
I knew I wasn’t.
I know I’m not.
But that insult landed on me the way a knife lands on tile floor, it leaves a tiny chip that can never be removed no matter how much you polish it.
I personally know that I have never felt better about myself after insulting a stranger or tearing someone else down, are there really other people out there who can lead a happy life by destroying others?
Perhaps I’m naieve. I really just wish everyone could realize that we are all so much more alike than we are different and that hurting others only hurts ourselves.
Just because you’d never put your baby on a bookshelf doesn’t mean it’s not perfect for someone else.
Kind words can shore up a the shaky foundation of another, cruel ones can be the proverbial straw on the camel’s back.
Don’t be straw.
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43 Comments
Heather commented on Feb 01 12 at 9:44 pmFirst time I saw this all I thought of was awwww and then I kinda wish I was going to HAVE a baby so I could do the same thing – only in the garden and with a tomato cage and the I realized wow it sure is a good thing you are NOT having a baby…
Mean people suck – but I always remember what my very best “friend” as a child said. “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
Heather commented on Feb 01 12 at 9:58 pmPeople are ridiculous!
But stop selling yourself short here, miss. Having a decent camera has very, very little to do with the success of a photograph. No one ever says to a chef, “This food is wonderful! What kind of oven do you use?” It’s not the tool, it’s how ya use it.
;-)
SP commented on Feb 01 12 at 10:15 pmWhat?! That’s crazy!! People are stupid and crazy, especially the ones bold enough to admit it.
Kristyn commented on Feb 01 12 at 10:16 pmI think what’s really sad is the fact that some of the poisonous comments people make online are things they WOULD say to your face. Civility seems to be a thing of the past, and it makes me kind of sick to think of it.
In any case, this is the first time I’ve seen this adorable picture, and I love, love, love it! So sweet!
crookedeyebrow commented on Feb 01 12 at 10:21 pmthe photo, the baby, the momma and your friendship you two have is all that matters. end of story. great shot.
Roni commented on Feb 01 12 at 11:14 pmLOVE this shot! Let the haters hate and keep doing what you are doing for those that so care.
Bre commented on Feb 02 12 at 4:49 amI love that saying…”don’t be a straw”. Not a bad lesson to teach our littles.
sarah commented on Feb 02 12 at 9:22 amthis shot is amazing. the colors, composition, and lighting are all perfect (not to mention the adorable subject). hopefully some of the awesome compliments i see on this post and the many i’m sure are on pinterest will far outweigh any ‘straws’ out there.
Colleen commented on Feb 02 12 at 3:48 pmI love the shot, and only wish I had a bookshelf so I could copy it! May have to use baby’s hutch when it finally arrives. I plan on having my baby’s picture taken on my collection of Harry Potter books when he gets here, and I’d poke anyone who has anything bad to say about it in the eye. :)
Ana A. commented on Feb 02 12 at 9:05 pmThis is a lovely picture, can’t imagine what mean things can be said about it. Oh & totally agree with the second Heather’s comment.
Meagan commented on Feb 02 12 at 10:58 pmLOVE the shot. Yes, it makes me nervous, but only because I’m thinking of how I would do it myself, not because I assume the photographer ans parent are idiots putting the baby in harm’s way.
Meagan commented on Feb 02 12 at 11:03 pmOk, I gotta ask, do you have a link to the pinterest (is that even how it works)? I’m weird, I love reading mean comments and 1 star reviews of good books (actual hobby).
caseymullins commented on Feb 02 12 at 11:21 pmI’ve got your evening entertainment right here… http://pinterest.com/pin/191332684138911728/
Hilary commented on Feb 03 12 at 7:55 amI also took a picture of my baby on a bookshelf… and I didn’t have anyone spotting him while I did it. When they’re that young they’re barely moving anyway. I support you :) And anyway, people are ignorant: they don’t have any idea what went behind the shot (what about all those photos of babies in hammocks and things? those are photoshopped!).
Meagan commented on Feb 03 12 at 8:31 amHa! I love that someone said there were probably spikes on the floor. Stupid people are awesome.
Chrysta commented on Feb 03 12 at 9:15 amMeagan, it was one of Casey’s best friends EVER who made the spikes comment. Just to show everyone how ridiculous they were being, I’m sure.
Casey, you already know how I feel about this photo, but I’ll say it again. One of my all-time favorite newborn photos. How can it get any better than my two favorite things in one amazing shot???
Meagan commented on Feb 03 12 at 10:00 amHaha ok. Glad it was sarcasm.
Sheyenne commented on Feb 03 12 at 10:40 amSaw this on Pinterest the other day and loved it. It’s a beautiful picture, and I onlly wish I had something similar for my babies. I’m sory of shocked that anyone could have anything negative to say about this, but I guess people can find something wrong with almost anything. Personally, I love it.
Sarah @ TM2TS commented on Feb 03 12 at 11:18 amIt’s a shot my friend would want me to do of her baby, simply because it’s something we have in common. We’re both obsessed with books.
Opinions are like assholes, too. Everyone has one, and not everyone wants to see it.
Rose Jorgensen commented on Feb 03 12 at 12:25 pmI would do the same thing with my son if he was still a tiny baby. Really cute thought, and position for an infant to be in. Surrounded by books! Cool pic!
Krista commented on Feb 03 12 at 6:04 pmI just saw an article about how “everyone” is a photographer now and people really do take some dangerous shots with newborns. However, I can’t see how this is dangerous at all. When I saw it my first thought was “perfect!”. I wish you were around to take pics of my baby girls when they come! ;)
anna commented on Feb 03 12 at 8:11 pmWish my girls had been small enough for it to have worked. The law book on torts would have been funny for all the danger! comments.
Amy commented on Feb 03 12 at 11:32 pmOH. YOU took this photo? I totally saw it on Pinterest and was all ‘awww, I love this, I wish I had a cool book shelf to do this with’
Sorry people suck. I think its awesome.
and I think you are very pretty. And if I never saw your face and only read your words, I would think, this person is potentially one of the nicest people ever. Because thats how I hear your writing voice.
The Laundress commented on Feb 04 12 at 7:55 amI think this photo is adorable.
And I did see it on Pinterest!
Bravo.
Jenni commented on Feb 04 12 at 10:07 amI think it is beautiful!
Laura commented on Feb 04 12 at 2:48 pmI’m just getting caught up on my blog reading – funny, but I actually re-pinned this myself yesterday! Despite the negative-nellies out there, I really do LOVE this photo. I wish I had thought to do it when my babies were small enough that it would be safe… but I can just imagine the nightmare of putting my 6-month old up on the bookshelf… (don’t worry, I seriously wouldn’t attempt it at this age!). Newborns are the most amazing photography subject… and you captured such a great shot – good work!
Faye commented on Feb 06 12 at 4:41 pmThe picture of the baby boy is beautiful and unique. There is no right or wrong opinoin…alot of things are up to the person’s taste. Please keep sending in pictures. Thank you for sharing.
LuLu commented on Feb 06 12 at 4:46 pmI think this is adorable! And I have a friend who is a photographer who would probably melt at the sight of all this newborn cuteness!
Melissa commented on Feb 06 12 at 4:48 pmI LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!
Samira commented on Feb 06 12 at 4:51 pmok yeah I see photo shopped pictures of babies in danger all the time the other day i actually saw one of a baby in a lion’s mouth sooooo who’s to say you didn’t photo shop it I’m sure you didn’t but before they made mean nasty comments about how horrible a parent they are for putting such a tiny baby on a shelf where they could fall just for a photo shoot they should ask hey wait maybe it was photo shopped or in this case mom can’t be far away… at any rate its a great picture so cute I have one of my little one in a giant stocking also have one of her and her daddy in a dog pen that makes them look like prisoners in my own personal dungeon or something so yeah… also kids put themselves in more danger than us setting them on a book shelf before they even know how to roll over on their own
Tracy Ames-Dennison commented on Feb 06 12 at 4:58 pmI too love books and wish someone had thought of this when one of my 3 were small! There will be haters no matter what, keep up your awesome pictures!
Heather commented on Feb 06 12 at 4:58 pmI would be more afraid of the variables: The bookshelf suddenly not being able to bear the awkward weight in that spot, books tipping over, things like that. It’s not that anyone really thinks no one is around to “catch” a newborn (that I agree, doesn’t move much so that’s not even a fear I’d have seeing this photo). It just reminds me of all those photographers who take pictures of babies in glass vases – many say it’s perfectly safe because they are right there – but that doesn’t make it any less dangerous if the vase were to break – the fact that you are right there is moot because you can’t stop the glass from cutting that baby’s brachial artery when the glass suddenly can’t handle the pressure. It’s simple physics and not worth the risk for a “good” photo. Plus, I worry greatly about the “monkey see, monkey do” folks out there who will try it and not think about the safety issues. They’ll see this and think “Oh I could do that with my 3 month old, she’s still so tiny” and then terrible things can happen. I know many professional photographers who refuse to do pictures like this. There are even photographers who do not allow parents to toss their 3 year olds into the air to catch (like most parents just do at home) or even hold their baby above their heads for some of those “good” photos with interesting angles you see everywhere. The fact that I would never risk something like that doesn’t mean the photo isn’t cute. I think it would have been cuter to have the baby on a soft, fuzzy blanky with piles of books around him/her, maybe one opened up with baby’s head laying on it as if he/she was reading and nodded off. That would have been cuter – the bookshelf with memories could have been in the background as well.
Leah commented on Feb 06 12 at 5:07 pmHonestly, I do not like this picture. I think it shows a baby as an object, instead of a baby being a person. To me this shows that the parents had a child because it would be “cute”. They are not taking the role of being a parent seriously enough if they found this picture to be in good taste. I would NEVER EVER allow a newborn to be in danger for even a second. Newborns are just so incredibly fragile.
Plus there are HEAVY books pushed up against the baby’s soft spot. I really hope babble has the good sense to fire this writer, and make a report to social services.
Wendy Chisholm commented on Feb 06 12 at 5:22 pmI only wish I had thought of it first. . . adorable!
Allison commented on Feb 06 12 at 6:49 pmWOW. People need to meet a certain IQ to be on the internets, man. (AHEM LEAH.)
Love the picture. Love the photographer. Love the mama.
xo
Monique Comastra commented on Feb 06 12 at 7:01 pmI have to say, this is the cutest picture. I would have made copies and shared them! Thank you for sharing this pic.
Rebecca commented on Feb 06 12 at 7:03 pmOh Leah, thank goodness for you! I’m am extremely impressed at your vast knowledge of strangers from just one photo. I do hope you’ll share your secret for discerning so much information from so little.
Elaine commented on Feb 07 12 at 12:04 pmI think it’s very unique and cute and yes, just right for your bestie! :)
pgoodness commented on Feb 07 12 at 12:08 pmOh, if only Leah knew the people she was speaking so horribly of,she would laugh out loud at her comments, like I am right now. And I’m not sure where her baby’s soft spot is, but I’m pretty sure (a) she’s wrong and (b) there are not heavy books pressing against it!!!!1 GAH!!
Seriously, I’m so glad that Casey and Emily aren’t taking the mean comments to heart – they are both superb people and mamas and I would let either of them take pictures of my kids anywhere, any time with no worries.
Oy, people.
pgoodness commented on Feb 07 12 at 12:13 pmSorry, Casey, comments threw me off…
I’m sorry that guy said that to you; some things hurt even though we know better and he was obviously a jerk.
I try not to ever say anything online that I wouldn’t say in person. I think I’m pretty successful. And no, I haven’t ever felt better being mean, either.
The photo is fabulous, and I’m sure we’ll see a wave of people doing the same!
Jenny commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:30 amI remeber when the picture was first posted how cute I thought it was. I never understand why people have to leave negative comments on things that don’t effect them at all. I would love you to take pictures of my future babies when we have them.
Adrianne commented on Feb 08 12 at 1:22 pmOh, Leah. You’d “NEVER EVER allow a newborn to be in danger for even a second”? I hope you’ve never put your baby in a car or taken them out on walks (a car could hit you!) or any number of other risky behaviors.
And just for the record, and this comes directly from my pediatrician, babies are NOT nearly as fragile as people think. You do know how they get out right? Their entire bodies are smashed through a 10 cm opening! Pretty sure those “heavy” books aren’t causing any harm.Adorable picture, by the way!! I really love the colors and that baby boy looks so content! :)
Juju @ Tales of Whimsy.com commented on Feb 16 12 at 6:36 amA. Awesome picture.
B. It always bothers me how people use the internet to be mean. I say we spread love. Isn’t the real world tough enough? Let’s use the internet to be kind and build each other up.
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