The nice thing about blogging here on Baby’s First Year versus my personal blog is that it has become a place to put all of my thoughts and experiences about the little bits and pieces of caring for my baby boy. My posts here are about Arlo specifically and so many of you out there are mamas to little ones too so you find interest and camaraderie in the small details of first foods and crazy sleep schedules.

But writing here has also given me a space to reflect on some of the unexpected challenges of my son’s first eight months of life. His road hasn’t been as smooth as I had hoped. While we’ve experienced all the usual joys (rolling, crawling!) and bumps in the road (milk supply, never sleeping!) I never anticipated that I would be here sharing details of challenging diagnoses of conditions I’d never heard of before he was born.

So here we are again. Our roller coaster up, our roller coaster down. My husband took Arlo in for a typical check-in with his pediatric cardiologist today. We’ve had these appointments every 6 weeks since he was born last May and they weigh him, measure his length, and do an EKG to look at the small valve in his heart that is incorrectly pumping blood around his lungs. After that , I usually meet with the cardiologist where they tell me – “We’ll need to fix his heart one day when he is older and in the meantime, we’ll see you in another 6 weeks.” I’ve grown so accustomed to the routine that today, I decided to send my husband, Brent, with Arlo so that I could get caught up on some work matters. An hour into their appointment, Brent called to say that they hadn’t seen the doctor yet. That struck me as odd since his cardiologist was never one to keep me waiting at past appointments.

Soon after that, another call from Brent. “They want to do Arlo’s surgery in 2-4 weeks. He’s not gaining weight, and they’ve grown concerned. There is a lot of strain on his heart as it is currently pumping 4 times the amount of blood around his lungs as the average person.” I could feel my own heart begin to beat hard in my chest. Just yesterday I had said to a friend, “I think we’re finally in calm waters. We’ll have some time to lay low and relax.” The past six months have included several discouraging diagnoses for Arlo,  a sudden, scary sickness for my daughter, a urology based surgery in early December for Arlo and purchasing and moving into our first home with two very small children over the holidays. I was just taking my first real breaths, it seemed… and now we’ve got another challenge on our hands.

Two to four weeks to just get good and comfortable with the idea of another surgery… to build up our bravery reserves. We’ve been through this once already, but this procedure is more serious than his last. The bright spots – he’ll never remember any of this and best of all, once it’s fixed, it’s fixed. We can kiss all those cardiology appointments bye bye. No more squeezing icky heart medicine into his mouth twice a day. No more worrying about his overactive heart and the strain that his condition puts on his body. No more fear of RSV or how his body will react to other illnesses.  That’s BIG. Big and good and comforting. I am just so ready to put this behind our boy. Another plus – his procedure does not require any sort of invasive open heart surgery. They go in through a vein in his leg, run a catheter to his heart and essentially, plug the hole for good. He’ll require an overnight stay in the hospital for monitoring and then we can all take that  good, long, deep breath that we’ve been so ready to do.

With this news, we ramp up. We ask our questions. We prepare ourselves and we look forward to the day that this doesn’t consume our thoughts anymore. Another thing to check off his list. Another step towards complete health. An opportunity to grow and thrive.

It’s been a crazy journey, dear readers. And I look forward to the day when I have no more of these dramatic updates to share. When it’s all posts about learning to walk and saying words and turning one. and two. and three. The day in, day out stuff. It’s going to feel so light and joyful to shed all of this. And we’re so close to making it a reality. In the meantime, we’ll take all the prayers and good vibes you’ve got to see our boy through.

~Melissa

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