Babys First Year Blog
Death Watch 2012: In Which My Older Daughter Still Has it Out for the Baby
Petunia prepares for Pajama Day at preschool this morning, but what she's really doing is plotting her revenge
I don’t doubt that my 3-year-old, Petunia, loves her baby sister, 4-month-old Peony. I’ve already written about how she loves her a little too much, or at least a little too hard. That has not changed.
Sadly.
Despite the fact that Peony is now old enough to kind of recognize and definitely smile at Petunia, it’s not sufficient to melt Petunia’s cold, cold heart. Petunia still has it out for Peony. Which means the Death Watch continues.
It isn’t enough that I need to worry about the pharmacy killing my baby. Or making sure she’s still breathing at regular intervals. Then there are the germs. And the illnesses. But worrying about something happening to Peony at the hand of a family member? Oy. We are a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.
Petunia will never admit that she’s not thrilled that Peony is still with us. She doesn’t have to. That she peed on the floor three times in the past week is a pretty good indicator (mind you — she didn’t wet her pants. She deliberately took off her pants so the carpet could bear the brunt of her displeasure).
Her preschool teachers keep saying she’s a model friend and listener in class. It’s just at home. If I’m nursing Peony and even if I’m cuddling Petunia and reading her a book while I’m nursing, she wants in on the action. And by “in on the action” I mean, of course, she’s patting Peony on the head with all the gentleness of a jackhammer. Or she ticking Peony’s toes with the softness of Brillo.
It’s hard enough trying to ensure Peony’s survival from accidental causes. But the on purpose causes? Oy.
Without wishing time away, here’s to Peony getting big enough to fight back. Quickly. And hard.
Image: Meredith Carroll
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9 Comments
autoclave239 commented on Jan 19 12 at 4:04 pmThis would drive me UP A WALL. No advice, just…wow. I’m sorry. That sucks.
Kitten commented on Jan 19 12 at 10:06 pmI have some serious serious fear about this since we have a baby due in a month and a three year old who has already declared, “I’m going to smack the baby.” We’re trying our best to install gentle thoughts, but, this son of mine is angry at this baby already!
Brandy commented on Jan 20 12 at 8:07 amWow. I feel lucky (?) that my almost 3 year old nearly smothers his 6 month old sister in kisses. As opposed to the mean things…He also tries to share his food with her. LOL!
Samantha commented on Jan 20 12 at 11:12 amWe dealt with this after having twins immediately after our older daughter turned two. Almost exactly – your words could have been mine. We got through it by never, ever leaving the older unsupervised with the younger (this was so hard – we became experts at holding our bladders! – but we had to after we caught the older basically beating up one of the babies), and giving it lots of time. It took about a year before we felt comfortable leaving them even for a minute. After the violent phase, my older just sort of ignored the youngers for a while, and starting around 4, started earning back our trust and actually playing with her sisters. Now (older is almost 5) they are getting along great and we can even leave them playing for an hour in their room in the morning while we try to wake up. Good luck!
babbledara commented on Jan 20 12 at 11:13 ammeredith, this is hilarious!
Meredith Carroll commented on Jan 20 12 at 11:58 am@Kitten — It’s natural for them to be angry, but that’s why they can never be left alone with the baby for even a second!
@Brandy — Petunia also smothers Peony in kisses. But it’s precisely the smothering part that has us concerned.
@Dara — Thanks! :)
lo commented on Jan 23 12 at 4:42 pmReally funny. Watch out Petunia, Peony will grow a tough little cactus :-). At 6 months she will grow spider arms which will reach and grab even the little hair in the temples and Petunia will have no way to escape. As for the pats, Petunia will know that pats of a happy 9 months old which wake you up from death sleep :-).
They are really funny together and will grow to be best friends, smacking and such
Meredith Carroll commented on Jan 23 12 at 4:43 pm@Lo — I hope you’re right!
Liz commented on Feb 07 12 at 10:53 amMy son was exactly the same way – “Hug baby sister”, “Tackle baby sister”, and “Ride baby sister” were common phrases he would say.
Now at ages 1 and 3, baby sister is fighting back but her only defense that is strong enough is biting – hard! Now I am protecting him from her!
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