I agree that people should be more restrained when approaching someone else’s child. We should always be respectful of personal space and privacy. However, I also see it from another angle. The cuteness of, and love for, babies is a common thread for people around the world. Babies have a way of uniting people in happiness, they can help to build community. By keeping people at arms length all the time, we ignore the chance to build trust and love. This summer, when I was in Thailand with my then 5 month old, my son was adored and loved everywhere we went. While he is my child, he was treated as everyone’s baby, and loved by all. Of course, I was initially nervous about all the different hands and people, but I quickly realized how much this baby did for a community. Letting people coo over my baby not only brought happiness to others, but it also brought the adults closer together. It gave us something to talk about and put smiles on our faces. I think in America, we have very little trust in our neighbors, (unfortunately there are too many reasons to be so), but I think safe and open adoration of babies could maybe help bring us all back together and solve some problems. Or maybe I am just too idealistic. But I do believe it takes a village to raise a child, because it is way too much pressure on me to do it right by myself all the time. Just another take to consider.

wow, nobody has ever tried to touch my 8 month old (at least, not family and friends), i would freak if a stranger did. i guess i put off a ‘back off!’ vibe, because nobody (not even family or friends) touched me when i was pregnant either.

I wonder if this is a mama bear tendency that I don’t understand yet (due in January). I am not one to fondle strange babies in public, but I get the inclination. Seems innocuous enough to me. Nice old ladies like babies. But, again, I have no idea what I am in for, and how my feelings will change about the world.

People touching my daughter doesn’t bother me much. Maybe it’s having an 8 year old, maybe it’s having worked in a daycare center for 4 years and knowing that kids eat dirt and sand, and lots of it when they’re mobile infants and young toddlers, I don’t know. The boys in my sons Cub Scout pack are always touching, and hugging, and kissing her. The girls in his dance class do the same thing, and when I take her to my board meeting at the community theatre watch out. Everybody wants to hold her, and she crawls around on the floor of the makeup room that usually only gets mopped during each show’s strike, so about 5 times a year. A little dirt and germs are not likely to cause much harm unless the baby is a newborn or immune suppressed in some way. At 10 months my daughter has never been sick either.

Oh, I couldn’t agree more!!! I HATE IT when people touch babies!! The fact is that they should understand that we don’t know them from Adam and we don’t know where those hands have been! Why would we want them touching our little one??? Ugh…I hate the liberties people take…

Interesting. I found people were less likely to try to touch my baby when I wore her in the sling. To do so would be to get into my personal space and I think most people are uncomfortable with that.

Your baby is so adorable, I would want to touch him, too. Those cheeks look so scrumptious. That smooth fuzzy head is so precious. I don’t just want to touch him, I want to eat him up. And until I read this post, I would not have thought twice about coming up to him and cooing at him and rubbing his little feet or thighs. So thanks for the heads up. I’ll think twice about touching other people’s babies now!

when i was pregnant with my son i got tired of people rubbing me that one day after being rubbed by a complete stranger i turned and rubbed their nonpregnant belly right back… they got the point.

I worry, especially as the babies grow into toddlers and begin to pay more attention to these adult cues, that we send them the wrong message when we either pimp them out for physical touch (“oh come on junior, go give your grandma a hug, for goodness sake, don’t be rude!”) or acquiesce to someone invading their personal space. We want them to feel comfortable saying no to unwanted touches later, feeling ok to run and tell mom and dad if someone makes them uncomfortable or scared, right? So we need to teach them from the very beginning that they should NEVER be forced into physical contact they don’t want (including hugging grandma.) May seem extreme, but how extreme are child predators these days?!?!?

I agree with most of these comments. I am not a mother myself, but when I do see babies in close proximity I normally just smile and move on. I stay out of a strangers personal space. On a further note, what bothers ME are the parents that try to force their babies on me. I live in a VERY close knit community. Everyone knows everyone here and I have been in several situations where a woman who I do not know too well asks me to hold their baby for them while they mingle with others. I always say no and then I end up looking like an evil child hater! I love children, but I am not about to put myself in a situation that makes me liable for a strangers child. When I do have my own children there is no way in heck I would trust someone I do not know with my baby.

Amen, Patty! Took the words right outta my mouth. I remember when my first daughter was only 3 months old and this is little old lady reached & held her hand; I watched her eyes fill up with tears as she said, “This makes me miss my own daughter”. I learned a lot that day. Sometimes it’s not about you; it’s about allowing your family to bless others. Babies are full of joy – allow others to feel that.

what????? who is touching your baby and where do you live? i’ve never had this happen. of course i’ve gotten the, “he’s adorable”, and “what a beautiful baby” but in all my travels in the u.s. and europe, i’ve not had people touch much less KISS my baby.

Oh no. No touching I know I gave off vibes because I really meant to. The way people are today There is nothing wrong in protecting your child, if you don’t want to be rude, let them know you are worried about germs. But I must admit I could have a problem not asking to touch his cute round cheeks he’s just so cute.

@Jillian, it may just be the mama bear tendencies not kicking in yet like you said XD You kinda get a radar. There have been two or three people (in their late 70′s or older) whom I have let touch my son, but nobody else dares get close! Those claws really do come out when you hold that baby in your arms and realize you never really KNOW who’s a threat to them and who isn’t. I feel like the TSA- everyone is a potential danger. I sound crazy now ;)

I’m living in Korea (been here for three years, staying for at least two more) and I have a four year old and a four month old, so the majority of my baby years have been spent here. You would lose your mind in Korea. They don’t just touch your child – they scoop your child off and WALK AWAY with them. They are taking them to go meet their friend or their neighbor across the street because they just LOVE babies! It’s insane from an American perspective and when I got here I thought everyone I met was a sick freak, but now I just love it. I love that people beg to take pictures with my children, that they always talk to my children when we are out, and that my four year old now has a special bond with people all over our community (the lady at the pottery store, the women at the beauty shop, the watch maker, our door man, our security guard, the woman who owns our favorite restaurant) – the list goes on and on. We were almost never on a first name basis with people we encountered in America outside our usual circle of friends and the Korean openness to children has completely changed that for our entire family. It has been a tremendous blessing to us and to others to open our hearts and just let people love our babies.

I agree, make faces, noises, act the fool. But unless you’re my babysitter (who has washed her hands) please don’t touch my baby!

We lived in South Texas when my daughter was a baby. Complete strangers with their own sick children would come up and want to touch her, especially on the head. As an OR nurse, I just couldn’t stand it so I finally became rude. I would say in the meanest voice I could: “Don’t touch the baby.” That worked. I later found out that it is a cultural thing and they believed that somehow it was good luck either for them or the baby if they touched a baby. It is very scary when you are in a public place and people you don’t know rush up to your baby.

Older people touching my baby doesn’t bother me, like 70 + as long as it’s not on the face and never ever should a stranger try to kiss my baby, that is just plain weird. But snot nosed little kids, ick ick ick. I don’t even allow my kids to get into the baby’s face. I’ve seen my 4 year old with his hands in his underwear and I have seen them pick their nose, they don’t even touch MY face without washing their hands first. I don’t touch their faces either without washing my hands first! People this is how germs spread! When my second was born my oldest was only 18 months old and I had to constantly monitor her from sticking her fingers in his face/mouth. She was precious with her curly 18 month old self, but she also would stick her fingers in her mouth, nose, and dirty surfaces. I taught both my kids early that it’s not okay to touch babies and others kids in their face or swap spit.

I can’t stand when family members would tell their grimy snotty little kid to “kiss the baby!” before they headed out the door. I got to the point where I would pick him up and smile sweetly at the kid and say, “that’s ok, he doesn’t need any kisses!”. I felt bad but I can visibly see snot on their face and I know they came out of that bathroom without washing their hands, so yeah, it’s not happening.

I am openly friendly so I think I attract more people than normal, and always really icky people. I am sorry but it’s obvious if you have bad hygiene and even if you have good hygiene I really don’t want you touching my baby when you have just been shopping the isles of Wal-Mart. Anybody who has had sleepless nights because they are up with their sick baby should understand why we don’t want you touching our babies where germs can be spread to them.

I also carry germ wipes :).