Babys First Year Blog
Hey, You’re Not My Mom!
eyes on mama
The time comes in every baby’s development when they start noticing who’s holding them. Tate was always aware of me and Steve. From the time he was born, he would look in our general direction when we spoke, but he wasn’t too concerned with who was actually holding him.
When he started smiling he dished out the best grins for Steve and I, but was still willing to share with anybody that was smiling at him. It has just been over the last week or so that Tate has decided he knows who we are and we are who he wants.
Last week, a friend (who has been kind enough to take Tate off of our hands on more than one occasion) came to visit. She offered to hold Tate, as usual, and he put out his upper lip and started searching the room for me. I felt awful. Of course, there is nothing a parent can do in this situation. Babies will be babies.
Most days, I give Tate to Steve when he gets home. Our baby proceeds to spend the next 10 minutes scanning the room for me, and following me with his eyes once he found me.
I don’t know if there is anything I can do to help Tate be more comfortable with other people, but I am curious if it’s a phase or is this going to be an issue going forward? I would love to hear any experiences or advice you can share.
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5 Comments
Erin commented on Nov 04 11 at 7:18 pmIt’s a phase, they all go through it. It passes eventually, I always just apologized and moved on. The worse was when the baby does it with Daddy. That one is hard for the husband to feel good about.
Mary commented on Nov 05 11 at 7:54 pmMaggie has started screaming {almost} any time anyone other than Christian or I holds her, which drives me crazy. I keep telling myself it’s a phase, but that doesn’t stop me feeling guilty every time I leave her with another relative, and worrying while I’m gone. I want her to be happy with our other family members, and she’s been around them her whole life, but I don’t know if giving her to them and having her scream is worth it.
Adrienne commented on Nov 05 11 at 8:00 pmMy almost 10 mo old is solidly in this phase. If I’m not around he’s ok, so if I need to have my hands free, whoever is holding him has to be in the other room. It is much worse when he is tired or hungry.
Aaron commented on Nov 06 11 at 10:46 amI have found that as the dad, it makes a HUGE difference if I put myself on their level even as babies. If they are doing tummy time, it makes a difference if so do I.
I have a brother in law whose baby (my niece) wanted consistently to be more with me than her own dad, if we were in the same room together which at the time was four or five times a week. I felt bad about it but he’s not the kind of guy who would listen to a – hey why don’t you lay down on the ground and put your eyes at the same level your daughters eyes are. It’s a tough thing to teach someone.
My own kids were pretty accepting of others – they definitely had their moments when they wanted mom or me but for the most part were pretty good with others. I think as a parents for our own sanity I encouraged them to go to their aunts and uncles and grandparents. Our children could sense that, but if they were tired or hungry like most babies all bets were off on if they’d stay there.
Lynn commented on Nov 07 11 at 3:27 pmMy son is almost a year old and since day 1 he can be in anyone’s arms and be ok with it. It’s really rare that he would cry and start looking around for daddy or mommy. That works for us especially when he started to go to daycare
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