Babys First Year Blog

On Baby Girls (and Boys), Fairy Tales & The Princess Paradox

Posted by selena mae on October 20th, 2011 at 11:32 am

293623 2477928509060 1277933081 3079021 601380837 n On Baby Girls (and Boys), Fairy Tales & The Princess ParadoxThis image was making the rounds on Facebook yesterday and it got me thinking. (Dangerous thing.) While it may seem that Disney has gotten the memo on creating better role models for our young girls with heroines like Megara from Hercules, Rapunzel from Tangled,  and Mulan (but even then – she had to dress like a man), I am seriously re-thinking showing my littles the classics. Or how I show them, rather.

Maybe it’s early for me to start tying knots up in my brain thinking about such things. To be honest, I think about these things often. Even before I had a baby girl. Because such  statements as seen in the picture right over there? They are true. And they impression our boys just as much as our girls. Because surely we can give our young lads a more realistic representation of women. No matter how much of a downer those quotes are, no matter how much they may muddy the mighty, golden awesomeness that is Disney.

Listen. I loved these movies as a kid. Who didn’t? I can also honestly say that some (many), ever so subtly (subtle if you are a young lass, not so — if you are older), fashioned ideals in my young brain. Ones that I didn’t live up to. Ideals of what I should look like, how I should act, what love was all about, etc. Sure, there was (is), also the magic and courage and music and awesome animation to speak of.

This false imagery, (as far as the fact that women’s waists are not smaller than their heads), these epic fairy tales — their delivery starts at a VERY young age, which is why I’m worrying about it already. I was watching these movies surely, as quick as my attention span would allow for such entertainment. As quick as my mom could pop one in to have a moment or two of sanity. Or get something done. Of course I did not think about what I was watching and what message I was getting, (then), consciously in such intellectual terms as expressed in that picture. Let us not debate over such semantics.

Are these princesses all about the girl power, really? Sure. With equal amounts of  being gorgeous and tying up your entire self worth to a man. No thin, healthy women I know have bodies looking like any of those princesses. Not a one. And don’t even get me started on Pocahontas and how it radically romanticizes indigenous culture. Or how it entirely warps historical facts. Her bravery as depicted in the movie, the great songs and awesome animation should not, or cannot be worth hushing the truth of such continued misappropriation of Native culture and history.

Ultimately, it’s up to me right? As a parent. To let my children take in magic and beautiful artistry, and wonderful stories. To enjoy it with them. To introduce other, far less glamorized fairy tales and entertainment. To open up dialogue with them when the fairy tale isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. To point out the stuff, that if un-discussed, may plant the seeds I’m so worried about. There’s enough out there in media today. EVERYWHERE, that harvests those seeds and fertilizes them at constant warp speed. As if on steroids. As the video below will attest to.

I can only hope that all of my efforts as a parent won’t be lost in the mass machine of media. That my little girl may adore pretending to be a princess, but not a helpless one. That my little boy will understand that war is not the answer to everything and that play weapons (or any for that matter), are not the bees knees. I think, that for myself and the mister, as parents — it’s all we can do to not be so extreme as to shelter them from Disney movies. I’d rather help them process it in a healthy way. I’m just saying it’s more than daunting. This life-task in the face of the mighty and never-ending. At times seemingly, impossible. I watch the children of some of the best parents I know, fashion their weapons out of tree branches and  kitchen utensils. Skip dessert and eat like a bird at 5, voicing that they are, ‘watching their weight’. Oh, my brain. Oh, my heart.

Heavy thoughts during my baby’s 1st year? Well yes. Naturally. You?

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 On Baby Girls (and Boys), Fairy Tales & The Princess Paradox

10 Comments

I have already given away any clothing that said ‘princess’ on it, I’m not a fan of what they represent. I was an animator for 10 years so I have respect for the skill, but I’d rather show my girl Jessie from Toy story then Ariel!

natasha commented on Oct 20 11 at 11:48 am

O yes. I think the part that bugs me the most is the phenomenal Whiteness of it all (or almost all). It cracked me up, in Tangled, that not only were we worshipping the straight blonde hair but by the end the White Woman’s Tears were literally magical in getting her what she wanted. And yet. I quite enjoyed the movie. Took my 4-y-o DS twice. gah.

Karen L commented on Oct 20 11 at 1:06 pm

Oh hey. Actually, if people are interested in the racial aspect of Pricesses, there’s a recent discussion over at Love Isn’t Enough: http://loveisntenough.com/2011/10/14/ask-lie-princesses-have-to-be-pretty-but-do-they-have-to-be-white/

Karen L commented on Oct 20 11 at 1:09 pm

I think you’re right. It would be kind of extreme to not let children watch the movies, but its up to us as parents to teach them what reality is and help them understand that what they are watching is NOT reality.

mattie commented on Oct 20 11 at 1:19 pm

Tangled is not so great, either. Blonde hair is magical, but if you cut it, it turns BROWN and DIES–the horror!! (that disturbed my daughter, who has hair exactly like Rapunzel does at the end of the movie) Oh, and she doesn’t even hold out for a prince or even a decent person, she runs off with a thief who steals from his friends.
Speaking of blondes, anyone remember that Cinderella did not used to have yellow hair?
Anyway, I do like Tiana. And Fiona. And Leia. :)

A commented on Oct 20 11 at 3:59 pm

I don’t think anything is too damaging to children if there is a lot of dialog — even at a very young age. There’s nothing wrong with watching Disney movies, as long as the objectionable parts are questioned and discussed. A story can be a great story, in itself, while being imperfect in the way it portrays women (or gosh, Native Americans, don’t get me started on Peter Pan!)

Another thing — read the original fairy tales these movies are based on. (One of my favorite fairy tale sources is Sur La Lune (http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/) That will give you and your kids a whole slew of new moral and ethical themes to consider!
Laura
http://lauralsullivan.blogspot.com/

Laura L. Sullivan commented on Oct 20 11 at 6:30 pm

I was always bored by the princess movies as a kid… the classic Disneys I remember watching over and over were Sword in the Stone, Jungle Book, Pinockeo (sp?) and Robin Hood. I guess that’s sad for a different reason … all the movies I liked starred male lead characters.

Meagan commented on Oct 21 11 at 12:38 am

Great post. I hadn’t thought about all those movies in a long time, and hadn’t thought of them quite like this. All totally valid points. Makes me glad I have a son, though I’ll still have to deal with teaching him about gender “roles” and valuing women as whole people.

Sara commented on Oct 21 11 at 8:51 am

Seriously no one can leave anything alone anymore. Disney movies are like the backbone of my childhood. They’re just movies, kids love them, and I won’t be “censoring” anything my little girl watches. If she wants to be a princess, she can be a princess. Who cares.

Melly J commented on Oct 21 11 at 9:17 am

I agree with Melly, they’re just movies! I LOVED The Little Mermaid as a child- according to my father I would watch it every chance I could. We would go to the beach and I would pretend to be a mermaid like Ariel, in the water. But never once did I think that in order to get the man of my dreams I would have to give up my best trait, leave my family, etc. etc. Wayy over thinking, not on your part necessarily, but on whoever made that drawing. Someone mentioned Sword in the Stone- so you should explain to your kids after watching it that normal boys can’t actually go pulling things out of rocks, and trying to do so will get yourself injured, probably? No one would do that! They’re cartoons, there’s no need for so much thought process to go into it. Besides, all those Disney cartoons are based off of fairy tales, Hans Christian Anderson, etc., so it’s not Disney’s doing. Ok I’ll get off the soapbox, have a lovely day,….

Angela commented on Oct 22 11 at 9:34 am

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