Your time and energy has to be ivied with more thane child. But your love does not divide; it multiplies.

I was so worried about this too as I got closer to having my second. I suddenly got really sad for how drastically our family was going to change and that we wouldn’t be able to do all the fun things we used to do with our first. As soon as they laid that baby in my arms though, I couldnt imagine not having her in our family. I really believe that each child comes to your family at a certain time for certain reasons and each child is equipped to an extent for how much attention you’re able to give them. It will be hard of course, but there’s no way you can’t love the second and third and fourth just the same as your first. Like the other posters said, your love doesn’t divide, it most definitely multiplies. As if that seems possible right?!

I have to second Chelle in this, love only multiplies. When i thought it couldn’t get any better the second child arrived. While pregnant with my second child this was my sole preoccupation “How will i make place for the second one when the first has robbed my heart completely?”. My mom used to say that the heart is an expanding muscle and has love for everyone if you want to. I tested it and it is true. A second (third, fourth) child is your child, fruit of your love and your hart loves him/her the moment you become aware of their presence. There must be a reason why we are pregnant for 9 months, so that our hearts prepare for their arrival.

Actually, what you’ll find out is your attention is not divided, it actually has to expand to work with too little beings at one time. Like multitasking. There is very rarely time when I’m only spending time with one. Usually we travel as a pack – my two kids and I. And sometimes we travel as a tribe (adding in my husband). But it is a rare treat to have just one.

However, what I would say to you is you are looking at this the wrong way. Having another child does not take away from the first. Rather it gives to the first. Syblings have a very special relationship. If nurtured properly, Syblings learn that they can rely and depend on each other for their whole lives. Yes, they fight, yes they compete against each other in almost anything. But this helps to build their character.

What I do know is that when they are away from me – at school for instance – they look out for each other. They take care of each other. And they fight together against anyone that tries to hurt one of them.

There is also a benefit for the parent. As much as we love our kids, we do need to have a break sometimes. My kids entertain each other all the time, so that I’m free to take care of other things like cleaning, paying bills, or just taking a break.

Don’t worry, when that second little one comes around you’ll figure out, just as you did with the first.

I’m expecting my sixth and just wanted to chime in. I agree with others that your love for your children only multiplies with them. Of course your time and attention is going to have to be split among them, but in my experience it is SOOO healthy for them! Kids learn more independence by having siblings, they learn to be more selfless and that the world doesn’t revolve around them, they learn to serve others, to love others, to resolve conflicts with others. Siblings learn how to cheer each other on, to lift each other up, and to share life’s experience with each other. As a mom you have to learn to give up some of the control. Infants take the most time and focus, but they gradually learn a little more independence each day and when that next little sibling comes along (I think 2 years is a good gap) they are able to share and contribute to the joy and have new opportunities to grow and learn themselves. My advice would be to NOT even worry yet about baby #2. Just enjoy the now and the future will take care of itself.

With a 2 year old and a 2 week old, those worries haven’t quite gone away. The whole time I was pregnant I worried! But, another child just adds more love. It’s more work, and I’d be lying if I said my son adjusted quickly. But it’s so worth it. SO worth it.

I totally agree with Angie. I am about to have my first (in weeks) so i can’t say i have “mom” experience but i was the first child. If fact i was the only child until i was 7. I love my little brother now but the fact that we have different dad’s and were so far apart really put a lot of stress on our family. When a child is an only child it is very easy for them to be spoiled, i didn’t even have any cousins within 7 years of my age. I was selfish. It was very hard for me to share. I expected to still be the center of attention. Luckily for me i made best friends with two sisters who lived down the street. Their parents somewhat adopted me and that taught me to be able to find support through others. My mom is and always has been my mom but it is essential in life for children to be able to connect to others. i believe that is best taught in the home from siblings, especially during the teenage years when children more easily listen to those closer to their age. Siblings can make great exemplars, good or bad.