Huh, never got that question from strangers. Although, 4 kids and I have noticed people seem very shocked to see a baby. In Walmart I get people yelling to me from about 10 feet away, “It’s a baby!” Seems like a strange reaction to seeing a baby in a store. It’s not like I’ve got her in a bar at midnight. But no one has ever come up to me to discuss my feeding choices with any of my kids. Not that I would care. I am currently twice as long into bfing my daughter as I was my son and I honestly could care less what a stranger thinks about how I feed my baby. I think it’s way worse when you don’t get acceptance from you’re extended family. Who cares about a strangers reaction though? Maybe I’ve just been desensitized after 7 months of my son in a cranial helmet and people making a bee line for me to ask what happened to his head. Something like that tends to be more bothersome than someone asking where’s the bottle?

As a former formula feeder yourself, I am surprised to hear how offended you seem to be by the assumption that you bottle feed. This article definitely stings me a bit as I am a proud bottle feeding mother. After numerous struggles with breastfeeding this is what is best for us. It’s reading articles like this that still set me back with small feelings of guilt. I think one other thing to consider is when people ask “does she need a bottle?” it may be a conversational way to ask if she’s hungry that they feel is less personal. It’s not an assumption that you are one of those “lazy younger” mothers that aren’t doing what’s “best and right” for their kids. Can’t all moms talk about feeding without judging?

Because it’s rare to ever see anyone breastfeeding. When they are, babies are often hidden under a blanket so breastfeeding is kind of invisible in mainstream American culture.

Just respond with a “nope, she’s breastfed” and don’t be offended. Just remain a good example. I’ve breastfed both my children, and my daughter well past age two, in public, no cover, but I am, as usual, discreet, but I’ve never tried to hide it and have actually never had any negative experiences. More women need to be open and show just how normal breastfeeding is.

I just wanted to say this kind of bothered me. I feel like both options of feeding are tough, heck, raising a baby is tough. So what if someone is surprised to see you are a breastfeeder? Who cares? If it’s not sore, cracked nipples– it’s a screaming, crying baby at 2 a.m. that you can’t just stuff your breast in and instead have to make a bottle. Either way, you will worry if they are getting enough. Either way, you will love them and be a great mom. That’s what matters most… and seriously, we need to stop attacking the bottle feeding moms.

Taz, I agree that this might be regional. I’m in LA, and I see mothers breastfeeding all the time, and most of the mothers and mothers-to-be I know breastfeed or are planning on it. It would actually be much more surprising (and perhaps taboo) for someone to say they were bottle-feeding their baby from Day 1. This might also be because most of those ladies are ones I know from prenatal yoga and childbirth class — maybe there’s some self-selection there?

I am a first time mother who has exclusively breastfed my 10 week old son, even through 2 weeks in the NICU. Though I had to pump mostly during that time and bottlefeed, now that he is home and thriving, I feel guilty giving him a bottle of pumped breast milk. He enjoys breastfeeding and it seems easier for him that drinking from a bottle. Sometimes bottle feeding is neccessary for us. Fortunately, I have not had strangers ask how my son is fed. Instead, they feel it appropriate to tell me my son is hungry when he is fussy or crying in the grocery store. I just say, “No, he just pooped.”

I am 24 years old and I have three children very close in age and I breast fed all of them. My first I exclusively breast fed for 6 months then started on some baby food in addition to breastfeeding, and we didn’t stop until a few weeks after his first birthday. My second child was the same except we completely stopped at 14 months. Now my third is only 3 months old and I am still exclusively breast feeding her. I plan on continuing breast feeding her until a year old, longer if she wants to. None of my children have ever had a bottle (not even with breast milk). I am proud of that. It is hard work. I hated being asked by people “where are the bottles?” or “I think he is hungry, can I feed him?” (yes, a stranger actually asked that) to which I reply “I breast feed”. And the reaction is always shock. I don’t really understand why it is so surprising to hear that a young mother breast feeds. Not to mention that I also cloth diaper. I must admit I love seeing the shock in their eyes when they hear that one too.

I understand the offense taken. I had several different pediatricians ask about my [then] 15 m/o “Is she done with formula yet?” and I was left blinking. I think my bad feelings come because formula has become “the popular” choice and that younger moms just automatically select this without weighing their options. It also blindsided me coming from someone who should not be making any kind of judgement or assumption about my parenting, they should be doing full evaluations and posing a question like that said a) this is what I think is best or b) I don’t expect much else from you because you look young.

I was 20 when I had my first child and although I struggled breast feeding for a few days my little guy eventually got it and was exclusively breast feed for 6 months and actually didn’t give up the boob until he was 14 months old, even though he was on solids as well. However I did get looks from people all the time when I would feed him as I do look even you get at times than I am. And older people do tend to assum I bottle feed. Even though this didn’t offend me because breast feeding is not to everyone, I did often wonder why the assumption was made. BUT I must admit it was very draining towards the last few months and I did want to wean him. I am now 22 years old and am 36 weeks pregnant and plan to breastfeed this little man as well. :)