[...] made it to my hotel, my breasts were so engorged they hurt.  Since I’ve been struggling with low milk supply, I was not used to this nor did I expect it to hurt so badly.  I rushed into my hotel room and [...]

[...] you so so much for reading.  Your thoughtful comments on my struggles with breastfeeding and the complex learning process of raising a new baby have meant the world to me.  So long, [...]

Breastfeeding is difficult even in the BEST of circumstances. I don’t know why women can’t seem to cut each other some slack, especially on this subject! I’m fortunate that my daughter latched on right away and haven’t had any supply issues, but I have to use a nipple shield because of flat nipples and am now battling mastitis. There are so many things that can make breastfeeding difficult, other women shouldn’t be one of them!

I have a similar experience as yours I also felt insecure & depressed that I am not able to feed my baby I only breastfed for 2 weeks. But in the lone run a happy mom equals a happy baby. But you are really doing a good, great job keep it up we will never know. Btw have you tried drinking pure tablea cocoa it helped me lot.

While I am a big supporter of breastfeeding, I hate that women give eachother such a hard time about it! Any amount of breastmilk is great, but if the momma isn’t happy then that isn’t great. Keep going for as long as you feel like it, and then know that you did a great thing for your son! Also, have you checked your insurance to see if they cover pump rentals? You might be able to get a prescription and it could be covered under “durable medical equipment”. It wouldn’t hurt to give them a call and there are websites that tell you how to word it when you call so it is more likely to get approved.

breastfeeding IS hard! my first struggled with latch issues and i supplemented for four months until we switched to formula altogether. it was so frustrating, and i was honestly ready to be done with breastfeeding. he ended up weaning himself and refusing breastfeeding. i just had my second and i was so worried that it wouldn’t work out again, but she latched right on and we struggled with oversupply issues the first two weeks. she choked every time she ate, like to the point that she wouldn’t breathe, and i was ready to give up again. we’ve kept going and it’s getting a lot better, but no matter how your baby reacts to breastfeeding, it is HARD. good job for doing what you can, but at the end of the day all that matters is your baby is getting fed and that you love him. thank goodness for formula in instances where breastfeeding doesn’t work!

Alyson!

Did you reach inside my head and write exactly what’s happening with Maebel and I? Sns, 10.5 weeks, embarrassment, crying, guilt. And myother in law is a lc. If these jugs could produce more, they would.

Great post. I feel ya sister. Exactly.

celebrate all of the things your body can do and has done- like giving birth to a beautiful baby!!

Kudos for doing all of this for Wolf! I too had low supply, I never tried the SNS, but would pump for 20 minutes every two hours, plus nurse and then bottlefeed what I had pumped previously, then supplement formula in a bottle. After about 3 months it did get better and I only had to supplement formula about 1/3rd of the time. But I never was able to stop pumping. It finally got to be too much at 9 months. I wasn’t enjoying it anymore so I pretty much stopped. My daughter is doing well on the formula and i do still nurse at night when she wakes up, but I’m sure if I pumped I would not get much.
Just remember, formula is not poison. You do what YOU have to do for YOUR baby and don’t listen to anyone else. If you haven’t already seen a lactation consultant give that a try. Seeing mine really helped me to understand and to let go. I also tried out domperidone (helped a LOT, but was expensive) and Goats Rue (also helped alot) and Malangay.

I totally understand how you feel, although I didn’t have glandular problems my son didn’t latch for the first 11 weeks and it took me a LONG time to get my supply up. We used a shield for 8 weeks and I was mortified to nurse in public. I felt all the same envious things that you do and thank g-d everyday that things worked out for us. The one thing I did was stopped setting goals. I took each day feeding by feeding. I soaked in my son and told myself how happy I was for THAT feeding. In the end the most important thing is a healthy baby and a healthy Mama and struggling to breastfeed can be all-consuming. Do not feel like a failure if you choose to stop. You ARE a breastfeeding Mama and always will be. You’ve done a wonderful thing, and your efforts are commendable. Hang in there Mama!

I feel you! We had the same troubles with our son. No milk, and he wasn’t a good nurser. So much guilt on top of your post -pregnancy emotional rollar coaster. Do the best you can, and then you know you did everything you could. Happy mom = happy baby. Bottom line. We gave in to formula (which surprised me at how much relieft it brought to me and my husband) and now we have a happy, smart, healthy 16 month old. You can’t tell him apart from any breastfed baby! Good luck and just do your best!!

I have the same issue honey and did the lact-aid sns for three months but bottles too. Honestly there comes a time when you have to choose sanity. I miss it and wish it were different but my daughter is doing amazingly and I am still very affectionate when I feel her and make sure to get her lots of kisses and snuggles. There is life after the sns. Hugs to you.

I feel for you 100 percent because I could’ve written this post a few months ago. My husband could tell you how many times I cried about having to supplement. I thought I was a failure as a woman that I couldn’t seem to “get it right” no matter how hard I tried. But do you want to know a secret? After I decided to let go of breastfeeding a few months ago, everything changed. Within a week’s time I was back to my normal self. I was no longer crying with guilt. My baby girl was happier to be fed via bottle in her mommy’s arms, in the same position as breastfeeding. Our bond did not shake. She is a confident, strong and healthy seven-month-old now. There are more of us breastfeeding-challenged mamas out there than you know, and I promise you if you do not make it to six months or a year or whatever your goal — you will be OK. Wolf will be OK. You’ll gain perspective and the guilt and frustration will melt away. Hang in there, mama.

Thank you for your honesty. While I breastfed my daughter for 6 months, I struggled with my supply coming in bc she was a c-section and then had my supply drop when I went back to work. I was popping tons of supplements just to keep my supply up at work as my daughter demanded more and more in her bottles. I came to the realization that stressing myself to supply her food wasn’t worth it. I’ve supplemented with formula for 2 months and now she is exclusively on formula and she’s fine – the best I can do for her is to make sure she’s fed whether by breast or bottle