Isn’t this crazy?!? I (despite whining) was glad to be able to breastfeed, but woah, would this ever turn breastfeeding on its head!!! What would women hate each other over after this? ;) You know what I mean? Tee hee. A few thoughts: 1) EVERY SINGLE WOMAN who has staggered to her baby’s room at 3:00 in the morning (often for the third time in a night) would gladly sign over her worldly goods to a wet nurse if else if she could give mindnight feeding a go every so often. But usually we eyeball the sleeping daddy in the next room first with an exhaustion-induced “I wonder…”. Seriously. Men have nipples. They ought to figure out how to use them. 2) Since breastmilk tastes differently from mom to mom, it might no go so well with discerning babies. Long ago, my awesome MIL was watching a baby who was inconsolable and didn’t want the bottle his mom had left him. Linda was nursing her third baby at the time and thought, “Hmmm–what if I…?” so she decided to give the baby a sip or two. The baby latched on, gave a few sucks, then reared back with this look of wounded indignation and SCREAMED. I’m sure he was thinking, “IMPOSTER!!!” She said it was funny but she didn’t dare try it again!

*sigh* So I did all of that stuff. And I had a baby to boot. But none of it worked. I was never able to establish a full milk supply. Or even a snackish milk supply. I had such hope that if an adoptive mom could breastfeed an adopted child then surely I could! Nope. Guess I have something to write about now.

My friend was breastfed by her mother and godmother. The mothers swapped childcare and whoever had the babies did the breastfeeding. I think that’s awesome although as a mother I think I might find it a bit hard to imagine my baby being nursed by someone else.

BUT! It’s such a thing of trust! My mum walked in on a babysitting friend breastfeeding my brother without prior agreement and she flipped. They’re not friends anymore! But seriously, who does that?

So stephanie nielsen write on her blog after her last was born that while at the temple for her sister’s sealing, her new baby was inconsolable. She said that some kind woman had ben hearing him cry and finally nursed him herself (obviously asking and getting the ok from whomever was watching him)…. I thought it was so touching. But most people think it’s weird. I was at the lake a few weeks ago and a friens there had to go into work all day, leaving her baby (same age as mine) with dad and us. The baby cried and cried and refused the bottle and I so wanted to just nurse her and ease the hours-long sobbing… its an interesting idea, this sharing boob juice

I donated my spare frozen pumped milk to a stranger (through Milkshare) and to a friend who had low supply. It was really, really nice to see it get used since my daughter wasn’t interested in drinking it and I would have hated to just throw it out (the cost of the bag alone!). And, though I’m not really interested in actually nursing anyone else’s kid, there have definitely been a few times where I’ve heard someone’s baby crying the “feed me” cry and felt a rush of “someone just nurse them already!” hormones.

When I was a baby our neighbor, a good friend of my mom’s, asked if she could nurse me just once as her baby (same age as me) was not drinking nearly as much as she was making and she was so engorged (no breast pumps then). Apparently I gave her an odd look the whole time, but nursed anyway. I don’t see any problems with women nursing babies not their own, but if I’m going to be honest, I wouldn’t turn that job over to anyone else. There are many times I’ve wished it didn’t have to be me getting up every night, but the bonding I get with my child is more than enough compensation. Even for my first, who was bottle fed, I bonded with him during feeding and wouldn’t give that up to another for anything (other than my hubby, of course).

My third is now 13 months and I just weaned him. I could have gone longer, but he didn’t want to anymore and it seemed like I was forcing him more often than not. Once when I was nursing my 2nd baby in a mother’s room there was another woman in there with her 2.5-3 year old. He wasn’t nursing, but he kept staring at me, pointing, and saying “baby ahm!” and the mom saying, “yes, baby ahm, just like you do.” It was really weird. There comes a point, to me, where I can find other ways to bond with my child (who is no longer really a baby) than nursing that is more comfortable for the both of us. Especially since at that point it is not really about nutrition.

I know I’m going to be in the minority here, and maybe it’s just those social worker universal precautions drilled into my consciousness, but I’d be weary having someone else nurse my baby. Not because of an ick factor, or jealousy, or anything along those lines but for the health of my baby. We all have to be really careful when it comes to sharing body fluids and unfortunately breast milk is still a body fluid, an awesome body fluid but a body fluid nonetheless. Most pregnant women are HIV tested during their last trimester, so we go into nursing knowing pretty well whether or not it’ll be safe for our babies (and I hope that like me, most nursing women, not to mention everyone else, takes the time to get tested regularly afterwards) but how often would we really take the time to ask a friend, family member or even wet nurse to show us medical papers? I’d like to see something similar to a blood bank, where women can donate as often as they’d like and have the milk tested for safety before giving it to the babies. Something regulated, free, and widespread. It’s unfortunate that would eliminate the ability to directly nurse a child, but I think it’s a necessary evil. Besides, in cases of screening fluids without or before testing them discrimination tends to come into play (like the blood banks in my area not allowing gay men to donate. Sickening) which wouldn’t be fair to the donors. Testing breast milk really is the only way to keep it safe. Which makes me very sad. I’d love for wet nursing to be common and acceptable in our society again, but for the same reason we need to educate our kids on matters like handling wounds and proper condom use, we need to be conscious of where breast milk is coming from. But on another note, adoptive breastfeeding moms rock! I don’t know if I’d have that level of strength and commitment, and I know how hard it was trying to manage my own diminished supply after giving birth, so props to those adoptive mammas!

YES – It is entirely possible to breastfeed an adopted child! and YES – it is possible for a mom who switched to formula to re-establish her supply and go back to breastfeeding.
As the non-birthing mom in a 2 mom (lesbian) family, I have done extensive research into the topic. Also, I am fortunate to live in an area that has a breastfeeding clinic staffed by 2 (female) doctors who are experts in lactation.
It is NOT an easy task and takes serious dedication. Most often, Domperidone, fenugreek and blessed thistle are used to induce supply, while pumping with a hospital grade pump frequently AND feeding baby (at the breast) with a supplemental nursing system. The SNS is a pain to use, but it allows for baby to suck and stimulate the breast for milk production (in a way NO pump could ever do), as well as the bonding with the parent.
It is also possible to establish a supply WITHOUT all the extra’s, but is much more difficult.

As for wet nursing – I’m all for it. The difficulty lies within the stigma of our society. Given proper medical testing, I would gladly allow my child to be breastfed by someone else, and likewise I would be ok with breastfeeding someone else’s child.