Babys First Year Blog
I’m Glad I Had a C-Section With Addison!
Big girl!
Addison is 11 weeks old, already! It seems like it all has just flown by, and I think it is partly because of my birth experience this time around as opposed to the births of my sons.
If you had told me two years ago, or even a year ago that I would have been glad to have a scheduled c-section, or that I would even opted to have a c-section at all, I would have kindly, or probably not so kindly told you that you were some kind of looney toon. Yet two years after my failed VBAC with my middle son, I am here.
Looking back on it all, I wouldn’t have changed anything we planned, which originally was a scheduled c-section for May 3rd, which turned into May 2nd because of a scheduling mix up. But on the night of Friday April 29th, I stood up in my living room at 10:30 at night, mind you… a living room full of friends having pizza and beer, and my water broke. To this day I say that my little girl who was almost destined to get a emerald birth stone simply wanted to be like her mother and score diamonds. Like Marilyn Monroe sang :
But square cut or pear shape these rocks don’t lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend
But really, all joking aside. Reflecting about it all 11 weeks later has made me realize how truly satisfied I was this time around. One of the biggest things I believe made a difference to me was the fact that I was in control! While I couldn’t control exactly when she came, which was really the only aspect of it I couldn’t. I was blessed to have an OB/GYN I knew in the OR with me, the labor and delivery nurse I had when I labored 2 years previously at the same hospital, and the resident I had maintained a friendship with over the two years since I birthed there. And the luck of the draw just so happened that the resident wouldn’t have been there had Little Miss A waited till Monday for her scheduled c-section date.
I was able to say when I got to the hospital, I want my epidural, I want to sleep, and while it sounds selfish, the words I want is what helped to make the experience much more pleasant. Being out of control was the biggest problem both times around with my sons. I had no control, I felt attacked by my own body, and providers like in the case of my oldest. There was no comfort, it was pain, physically and emotionally.
And while clearly having a c-section is not a walk through the park, or pain free. Having the planned aspect, and not laboring long before the cesarean itself I believe made a huge difference in my recovery. By the time my 4 days in the hospital were over, I was off of all pain medication, walking without an issue, and come the following Monday morning, when Addison was a whole 9 days old, I was ready to care for all three of my children, alone as my husband returned to work.
I am not an advocate for scheduled c-sections, but I am a realist that knows, sometimes they are necessary, and for me, it is just the way I needed to birth. Even with a baby a little over 5 pounds, two full pounds smaller than either of my previous children, she couldn’t even make it into my pelvic outlet. While I am heartbroken over not getting to experience vaginal delivery I am completely satisfied this time around, unlike with my two previous births.
If women are in a situation like I was, they should be able to embrace their situation, and make the best of it, because I promise… it will make a world of difference!
As my little porketta is nearing three months old, I couldn’t have imagined it all any other way.
How did you feel about your birth experience three months later?
Then
And now...
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10 Comments
Melissa commented on Jul 18 11 at 11:03 amI had a section and it was great. I had a breech baby and low amniotic fluid so she was born at 36 weeks by c section. My doctor said the cord was around her neck twice and her butt was wedged in my pelvis. There is no way she would have been born safely vaginally. I felt good by day 4 and totally myself by 2 weeks (after the staple removal).
I feel frustration with people who say they don’t feel bonded or that section births are inferior somehow. The most important thing is a healthy, living child to live. Period.
Danielle625 commented on Jul 18 11 at 11:21 am@Melissa – I have both experiences. With my sons, I felt distant, and not as connected or bonded at birth, and I still believe it was became of the negative birth experience. So I can see where those moms are coming from as well.
Kris commented on Jul 18 11 at 11:27 amI had my baby by c-section at 37 weeks due to pre-e and pregnancy induced hypertension. I’m glad I had a c-section. I had the baby at 1 in the afternoon, was out of bed by midnight and didn’t really take the pain meds. Given the choice to go home a day early but couldn’t due to hypertension. My blood pressure was perfect for a day or two after my c-section then spiked and had to go on meds for 2 weeks. Other than that recovery was fast. In the end, all that matters is a healthy mom and baby.
Dari commented on Jul 18 11 at 1:22 pmAs a C section mama, I appreciate these kinds of posts. Sometimes I feel that people put shame on C section births and that is sad. I believe that whatever the mom feels is best for her and her baby is her business. My first baby was breech and was a planned section, my second was breech until 35 weeks, then he flipped. But I still chose to have a section and I had beautiful experiences with both. I felt bonded with my babies, satisfied with my birth plans and felt very in control, like you said. Everything went as planned and babies (and me) were healthy and happy. I may try for a vbac next time but if not, I won’t live with any regrets. :)
Julie commented on Jul 18 11 at 3:58 pmI was prepared for a scheduled c-section with my second son, and had managed to get past all the negativity I had left from the first one that had been basically forced on me. In the end however, I still didn’t get a positive experience, because they couldn’t get the spinal in and I had to sleep thru the birth of my child. I think if I’d had a normal c-section it would have been a different story. To me, waking up in a room full of strangers, without my husband, my son, or even my new baby, was terrifying. I’m still not sure why I didn’t have the same nurses that were there with me when I went under as when I woke up, or why they ignored me when I asked where my family was or what time it was. I don’t think however this is the normal experience, even for women who do have to have general anesthesia. I think I just got the fluke set of staff who didn’t care. I bonded with my child just fine, but 7 months later? It still breaks my heart that his first cry, and his first touch, were experienced only by strangers.
Danielle625 commented on Jul 18 11 at 4:58 pm@ Julie – Big hugs!
TheFeministBreeder commented on Jul 18 11 at 10:01 pmI hope if I was in the same situation, I would be able to embrace what would need to happen. Making the best out of the hand we’re dealt is really the best way to get through anything in life.
El commented on Jul 18 11 at 10:03 pmI had 2 unscheduled, and one scheduled. My scheduled was the only one that had problems ( but that was the nurses on staff, not the ob or other things). I loved being able to have my kids taken care of instead of rushing around, and having them meet in the recovery room. I never felt cheated or out of control. In fact after my first emergency one, I had such an easy time I knew I never wanted a vbac. My job is to parent my children, not to push them out my vagina.
Sarah commented on Jul 19 11 at 9:42 amMy first son was a vaginal birth, but he was in serious distress and had to go immediately to the nursery. I didn’t get to hold him or see him for several hours while I was being put back together. I got 4th degree tears, so healing was a long processes.
With my second son I planned a natural birth again even though I could have scheduled a c-section. My water broke and my son wasn’t head down- he was transverse. It was out of my control, so I accepted my c-section. I got to meet my son right after he was born and it was wonderful that he wasn’t in distress at all. For me the pain was worse in the hospital than my previous natural birth. Weeks after my second was born I felt a c-section was easier and less pain than my natural birth. Now that I’m almost 3 months postpartum I long to be completely healed so I can work out without feeling pain in my scar (with my first I was back to normal by 8 weeks).
I plan on having a third child some day and I don’t know if it will be via a scheduled c-section or a vbac, so it’s wonderful to read about other women’s experiences.
Debbie commented on Aug 04 11 at 2:54 pmI totally believe there is a place for c/s’s and that a healthy baby is the number one priority and I would risk what happened to my neighbor, but just can’t help but really really really not want to have any form of c/s after seeing her go through what she did. She had a c/s after fetal distress while pushing. Afterwards, while recovering in the hospital, she laughed just a little (not a very hardy laugh) and her stitches popped open. They couldn’t sow her back up because it was now exposed. So she had to stay in the hospital longer and her recovery time in general was much longer and her scar is now much larger with greater risk for future pregnancies and deliveries. She had to wear a pump 24/7 for a long time that sucked the fluid out of the scar so it could heal, all while trying to sleep and tend to her newborn. I visited her and at first I didn’t know she had a pump strapped to her and every time the pump went off it sounded like she was farting. I’m pretty sure that she had PPD and that the aftermath of the stitches popping had a lot to do with it. The “cough pillow” weirds me out :P. The thought that a strong enough cough could pop my stitches is an awful thought. I have educated myself to the extreme about child birth so I know that if a c/s is really needed then popping my stitches would be worth a healthy baby. I just hope it doesn’t come down to that. Three months after my birth experience …….. I felt great in some ways (I had a perfect and fast natural delivery), but bad in other ways (I had a preterm baby that had to stay in the NICU for 11 days and the separation aided in my long term PPD).
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