Babys First Year Blog
Just Call Me Momma Bear
Before I had Tate, I thought many mothers seemed completely over protective of their newborn babies. I couldn’t understand them wanting to hold their babies constantly, didn’t they get to hold them enough at home? I couldn’t understand why a mother wouldn’t automatically offer their baby for other people to hold. I couldn’t understand why a mother couldn’t enjoy a night out without worrying the entire evening if their baby was ok.
Now, I am this kind of mother.
I want to hold my son all day long. If it’s been more than an hour since I last touched him, I just want to steal him away from whatever family member he is snuggled up to. When he cries, all I want to do is fix whatever is bothering him. At the prospect of going out to dinner tonight for my wedding anniversary, my heart seizes up in panic at leaving him with very capable relatives for an hour or two. Not because I don’t trust them, but because he is just so tiny. When my husband teases the baby for eating or whining too much, I can’t help get defensive. He is just a little baby after all.
I guess it’s a natural instinct to want to protect him no matter what. I just have been taken off guard by how much and how fast I have changed since having the baby.
Did any of you experience these kind of feelings after having your first baby? Did your protective urges ease after some time, or are you still a momma bear?
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7 Comments
Heather commented on Jun 09 11 at 8:26 pmAfter a bit, it got way better. Partly because of them becoming more independent. I do worry about them the whole time I’m gone as far as a baby-sitter, not because I worry about the child’s well being at all, but because I worry about how they’re treating the baby-sitter. Is that strange? I do the same when I leave them with their dad, too.
Meagan commented on Jun 09 11 at 8:38 pmI’ve had the same revelation. Over- imagining every fear I used to scoff at.
Lorraine Kennedy commented on Jun 09 11 at 9:41 pmI notice how close you are to him in your photos. These instincts are primal; you look like you are inhaling him. I had to let my baby go for a short while and I could SMELL him around me. It brought me to my knees, not being near him.
Nothing can replace/simulate that mother & child bond, in my opinion.
My son has been calling me several times a day for the past few days, and I keep missing his calls. We finally spoke today and it turns out, one of his closest and oldest friends’ mom passed away on Monday. She was only a couple of years older than me, at most. I know he is feeing connected to that. There is nothing that replaces family. Nothing.
SJ commented on Jun 09 11 at 10:50 pmi felt so guilty not wanting anyone to hold him, especially my MIL, for some reason. especially in those first few days, my hormones were just sooo out of wack and i felt so weirdly possessive. only when my husband reassured me that it was a natural instinct did i feel less guilty for being such a mama bear.
Voice Of Reason commented on Jun 09 11 at 11:21 pmWell, as someone who has recently completed her 4-day DONA postpartum doula workshop, I can tell you that you are completely in tune with your maternal instincts. Apparently a newborn baby’s ‘natural habitat’ is snuggled against the chest of his or her mother and it is there that s/he will be *most* calm and secure (not to mention nourished!). This is how we’ve evolved. No doubt that’s where babies’ mothers feel most confident and secure about their babies, too. So, you obviously know exactly what you are doing and Tate will benefit greatly from his close proximity to you. Congratulations!
Holly commented on Jun 10 11 at 12:23 amI dont think that wanting to protect your kids from everything ever goes away! Im not willing to give it up at least! I feel like that is just part of the job:)
candice commented on Nov 16 11 at 4:11 amas they get older and more independent it does but truth is when you have another youll feel the same way at first or at least i do with my 2nd (maybe its cuz they are nearly 6 yrs apart) but she is almost 5 mnths old and i still feel like that
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