Babys First Year Blog
Sharing the Positive in Your Birth Story
Mom and Tate right after he was born
My entire pregnancy, many of the people who seemed interested in sharing their birth stories were the people who had nightmarish experiences. I heard all kinds of things about epidurals wearing off, fourth degree tears, active labors lasting for 36 hours, and I even had one coworker ask me if I had a bag packed for the hospital at 26 weeks, insisting that the baby could come any time.
I spent most of my second and third trimesters trying to avoid conversations leading to birthing because I just couldn’t have another “my baby’s head was stuck in the pelvic opening for 4 hours before I had a c-section” conversation.
I started to wonder why this is the case? Why is it that people don’t share the positive in their birth stories?
My birth plan was taken off track when I was induced with cytotec and had an artificial rupture of membranes. My husband and I had a detailed plan and were hoping that induction wouldn’t be a part of it, but even with that curve ball, the birth of my son was beautiful. I was able to accomplish something bigger than myself and I have never felt so empowered in my life.
It’s my goal to tell pregnant women, especially those that are pregnant with their first, how beautiful and amazing having a baby is. Becoming a parent is terrifying enough. I think it’s just as, if not more, important for women to find the positive in their birth story for themselves.
I am not naive enough to think that all birth stories are completely positive. Every woman experiences something different and many people’s plans are interrupted and changed. I don’t think there is anything wrong with warning people of possible complications. I just hope that we can see past the negativity and share the wonders of bringing a person into the world.
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9 Comments
ceridwen commented on Jun 08 11 at 1:41 pmThanks for this positive message– it’s a good one to spread =)
Hollie commented on Jun 08 11 at 5:54 pmI agree! My family accuses me of being a liar or having a bad memory because I talk about how awesome giving birth was and say I’d do it again any time. The unplanned induction and then emergency surgery AFTER the birth? Are not going to happen to other women, and are not part of my “birth” memories. The labor when my husband was there for me, the pushing the baby out, and holding her for the first time? Magical. Indescribable. And I tell pregnant women all the time, it’s not that scary once it starts.
Denise commented on Jun 08 11 at 6:15 pmThank you! I am pregnant with my first and on bed rest in the hospital facing an induction next week and it seems like everyone wants to scare me to death about how horrible being induced is! I’ve gotten to the point that when people tell me their horror stories about giving birth I just say, “Wow, we should really be telling this information to teenagers so they don’t get pregnant.”
Holly commented on Jun 08 11 at 6:22 pmYou know whats funny? I kind of liked hearing the bad stories because then I felt like if something like that happened to me then I would know that I wasnt the first! But I know not everyone appreciates that and I have been blessed with amazingly easy births so I try to tell my stories to gals every chance I get! I just told a newly pregnant checker girl at Target about my experience with it the other day because she was telling me of all the horror stories she had heard! One does have to wonder what kind of pleasure those women get by telling first timers of their awful experiences! Geez!
Heather commented on Jun 08 11 at 11:27 pmI don’t believe in women trying to scare first timers, but I’ll be honest, I kind of sadistically like comparing stories with those who have done it. :-D The thing is, I HATE being pregnant (feeling the kicks is fun and exciting, but I mostly just hate it.) I’m on my 4th now (5th pregnancy, though), and I’m not gonna lie, I did not love my labor until the baby was out. I’ve done hospital with epidural, hospital natural, and home in a pool. It’s still labor, and I hated it and it hurt, but the home in a pool is the best of bad options, and all of them got me my little amazing babies. And so it’s worth it. All I want are the kids, and if that’s what it takes to get them, I’ll do it. :-)
Tlcnyc commented on Jun 09 11 at 1:24 amMy birth story was not particularly good…and I’m not rushing to tell pregnant women my story. However, if they ask, I don’t hold back as I was shocked by some things that happened…and not in a good way. If I had known more…I might have been stronger in dealing with the doctors and felt more in control over the birth of my twins. I hope they learn from my mistakes!
Carrie commented on Jun 09 11 at 10:33 amThanks for this post. I wonder if we don’t hear the positive stories because they are so much less dramatic. My daughter arrived 6 weeks early, but there was nothing particularly dramatic about her birth. I had a positive expereince although I wouldn’t describe it as magical. Immediately afterwards I remember thinking, that wasn’t too bad and I’d do that again. I had the epidural, which wasn’t in my orginal plan, but neither was not finishing the hypnobirthing classes because the baby came too soon.
Elissa commented on Jun 10 11 at 1:01 amYes! I totally agree with you.
I made a point of sharing my (extremely positive) birth story with a couple of friends just before they had their babies. I included the side note that I was aware of all the negative stories and I just wanted them to know that it really doesn’t have to be like that. After giving birth, both of those ladies told me that they kept thinking about me, and my story, while they were in labour. One even went as far to say that I was ‘an angel at her bedside’ throughout the whole (long) labour.
I totally believe them because when I was having my baby, I took inspiration in the stories that some of my lovely friends has shared with me.
The birth story is such a powerful tool that I think everyone should handed a copy of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth so that they can read up on birth stories.
gigiofca commented on Jun 11 11 at 3:22 amITA. Instead of people telling me how much sleep I won’t get or how detached my husband will be, or projecting whatever issues they had onto me…I’d love to hear how wonderous the experience is. The upsides, too, please. :)
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