[...] I was already coping with a vastly different body, some serious sleep deprivation, and raging postpartum hormones. What I came to realize was that what I need was to get back to feeling like me [...]

[...] I mentioned before, it’s been a real adjustment trying to find something to fit and flatter my radically changed [...]

Wow that all sounds like me. At 8 months pp now.. I thought for sure I would be skinny, no way would I be fishing out last summers maternity shorts to wear because nothing else fits me. I still have 30lbs to lose I can’t imagine it
will ever go away. I also did not believe everyone who said it goes so fast, omg it totally does :(

Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever read such a close approximation to how I felt postpartum. I cried alll the time, for no “real” reason, even just because I was so in love with my new baby. Thanks for writing this :)

Yep, I cried ALOT especially at night when I was just exhausted. I would start getting ready for bed and just start crying I think it was because I was so happy but also so tired. And my body is still not back or even close to being back to how I was pre-baby. I have had a hard time with that but I’ve been reminded over and over again that especially if your nursing you just have to be “a little chubbier for a while” but after you are healed and things are going great and he’s a little older you can exercise and get back into shape. You’re a great mom! I already know that and things will get better.

I’m crying now. I FEEL the same way.

awww i just teared up
no one could’ve ever told me how hard it is to be a mommy…amazing but hard.
try and give yourself a break…be gentle with yourself.
my friend, who has a 2 month old…and a nanny…ya, a nanny…but anyway…felt bad cause she took a few hours to go to the gym…and i told her that taking time to take care of herself will make her a better mom. it’s true.

I remember a great saying I heard and that is start every day a fresh. No matter what happened the day or night before today is a new day and approach it that way. Yes it is hard sometimes. I had twins and my husband and I were delusional at some stages through lack of sleep but it does pass and it will get better. Also with the weight loss I remember lounging in my maternity jumpers thinking I’d never get out of them but I did. It’s not going to happen straight away so just try and enjoy being a mum. It’s great!

I agree with B – about 5/6 pm every single night, I’d start getting incredibly sad, and cry most of the time. Honestly? It’s only cleared up in the last month or so (& my daughter just turned 6 months old). I am thankful that there are other supportive moms out there who knew (& know) exactly what I’m going through. I’ve learned that postpartum feelings – and depression – are very real things, and nothing to be ashamed of. I think being a mom, especially a first-timer, is just amazing in & of itself. You have all of these expectations for what you’ll be like, and they’re completely thrown out the window when you meet this little individual who is unique & opinionated & doesn’t fit any rule book. So, I guess, we all just do the best we can & love our little ones. (At least, that’s what I’m striving for. That & I don’t read many mommy blogs anymore. I find a lot of the comments too mean. I love finding women who support each other, no matter your decisions – e.g., on sleep issues, feeding, etc.) So I’m enjoying your thoughts! :)

I had soul-crushing post-partum depression for a whole YEAR after both my girls were born (they’re now 3 and nearly 1). It’s so hard to be a mom, especially when other moms make you feel rotten for struggling. Guess what? Motherhood is HARD!!! We all struggle with one thing or another (and sometimes many things at once!). It’s so tempting when something comes easily for you to forget that it might be hard for someone else. And PPD is very, very real and not at ALL a result of mistakes. It truly sucks to feel like you’re being robbed of a precious part of mommyhood, but while my girls’ infancies were quite difficult and rather disappointing (how come I couldn’t just be happy?!), the joys that come as they get older really help me to feel like I haven’t really missed out. It gets better. So, so much better.

Like some other commenters, I went through horrible PPD after my son (now 3) was born. I had these strange realizations about how my life had changed in a negative way, even though they were things that didn’t matter at all. I’d freak out about running into the gas station (do I take the baby? what if it’s winter? what if I leave the car running? what if I leave the car running, with the baby and somebody steals the car? So does that mean it takes me three times as long to run in for a bottle of water because I have to take him in and out? What if he’s sleeping? on and on and on). And then I’d cry. Again. For a whle there I just didn’t leave my bedroom. I didn’t feel the need to since the weather was bad and I had somebody that constantly wanted me to be topless anyway. Somebody told me once that it isn’t always amazing, instant, out of this world love that you feel for your baby and I’m glad they did. It took me a little bit to get comfortable in my position as mom (now it’s amazing out of this world love) and really get to know him as that being that was inside of me for all that time.