Babys First Year Blog
Cluster Feeding And The Breastfeeding Blues
Serge snapped this yesterday amidst yet another cluster feeding.
I knew this would happen. Quit my job to stay at home and be a freelance writer so I could spend time with my kids and end up feeling like I spend less quality time with them than ever. I know that’s not true, but my days are filled with chaos. We’re on a schedule and all but jamming everything into the schedule is making my head spin.
I write most of these Babble posts in between feeding Violet, breastfeeding Henry, cleaning the house, bathing both kids and several other internet-related projects I’m working on. Then I need to get the damn dogs walked and by the time we get home Violet is ready to nap and I don’t feel like I’ve spent any time with her at all.
Then there’s Henry, the human vacuum. The kid wants to eat constantly! The pediatrician mentioned cluster feeding when I brought it up at his two month check-up (he weighs 11 pounds!). It’s when babies space feeding closer together at certain times of the day and go longer between feedings at other times. This is very common, and often occurs in the evenings. It’s often -but not always- followed by a longer sleep period than usual: baby may be “tanking up” before a long sleep.
That’s not really the case with Henry. Seems like he’s “tanking up” all the time. I can feed him for a long time and the kid is literally crying the next hour because he’s hungry. I’ll be honest, yesterday I’d reached my limit and had Serge give him a bottle of formula. It feels like he is constantly attached to my chest. Henry, I mean. Not Serge (he only wishes!) I know, that probably sounds terrible. It’s not that I don’t love breastfeeding, it’s been great, but there are times when I need to get stuff done and I can’t because he wants to hang out at the milk bar all damn day.
Just now while typing this I googled cluster feeding and it made me feel tons better because it’s EXACTLY what’s been going on. Even down to the part where my husband is wondering if Henry is getting enough from me!
Cluster feeding often coincides with your baby’s fussy time. Baby will nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry, nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry… on and on… for hours. This can be VERY frustrating, and mom starts wondering if baby is getting enough milk, if something she is eating is bothering baby, if EVERYTHING she is doing is bothering baby… It can really ruin your confidence, particularly if there is someone else around asking the same questions (your mother, your husband, your mother-in-law).
This behavior is NORMAL! It has nothing to do with your breastmilk or your mothering. If baby is happy the rest of the day, and baby doesn’t seem to be in pain (as with colic) during the fussy time – just keep trying to soothe your baby and don’t beat yourself up about the cause. Let baby nurse as long and as often as he will. Recruit dad (or another helper) to bring you food/drink and fetch things (book/remote/phone/etc.) while you are nursing and holding baby.
So I’m going to tough it out and – if I absolutely have to or I’ll lose my mind – I’ll give the little guy a bottle of formula here and there. He’s had 99.99999% breast milk so what’s the harm if it saves my sanity?
Have you had a frustrating experience with cluster feeding? How did you deal with it? Give me some hope, y’all!
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13 Comments
Katy E commented on May 04 11 at 3:27 pmCluster feeding also comes around times just before growth spurts. It’s his caveman…er, cavebaby instinct to build up your milk supply as well. I remember cluster feeds around 10 days old and 6 weeks old. I just curled up in the recliner and resigned myself to being the milk bar for a while and I watched a lot of Law & Order:SVU.
My husband would feed my son a bottle of pumped breast milk every night( starting around 2 weeks of age) right before the baby went to bed. I’d crawl into bed and pump about that time and then sleep for a good 4 hour stretch or get done whatever I needed to do around the house. Tanking sweet Hank up with a bottle of formula is the same principle. They get milk faster out of the bottle and fill up quicker. Once Hank gets a little older, his suck will get stronger and he’ll be able to empty your breasts faster so you won’t feel like you’re being held hostage for the entirety of an hour.
Zoë commented on May 04 11 at 3:40 pmI have to admit that with my youngest, it was the cluster feeding that did me in. I was so ready for it. I knew it was coming but I just couldn’t take any more 4 hour nursing sessions followed by mulitple wake-ups during the night. If she had been my one and only, I maybe would have plowed on through, but I have two older kids, one of whom had to be at school by a certain time each morning. I was miserable and the baby didn’t seem very content either. So at 8 weeks, I switched to formula resulting in a much happier mama AND baby. But that was me. That was how I chose to deal with it. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate even though it didn’t work out how I planned (Kid A= 6½ months, Kid B=5 months, Kid C=2 months). You are doing so well and I’m sure you can make it through this rough patch. And don’t feel guilty if Henry gets some formula every now and again. At least he’s getting fed!!!
Katy E commented on May 04 11 at 5:56 pmAlso, I just noticed how skinny your thighs look, Monica. As I am now 36 weeks pregnant with my second child and feel roughly the size of a small elephant, I am super envious!
Roni commented on May 04 11 at 6:27 pmI’m in the same boat. All I can say is, I feel your pain. Evan wants boob every hour!
El commented on May 04 11 at 7:39 pmCould you nurse with him in an ergo/Bjorn/whatever carrier? You can let him hang out while you still did other things. That is how I got stuff done.
Stephanie commented on May 05 11 at 1:01 amDo you have a pump? I’d recommend pumping/feeding bottle when that happens- at least that’s what I’ve done with mine when they do that.
Heather commented on May 05 11 at 9:38 amMy son was the exact same way at exactly the same time (around 2 months). And I was going crazy. I wish I would have just given him a bottle of formula here and there. Just a little break would have helped me (and my sore nipples!) get through.
At least take a little comfort in the fact that you know what the issue is and that it’s normal.
Natalie commented on May 05 11 at 11:17 amThat picture of the two of you is beautiful. You look like you belong together.
I was so frustrated with my older daughter by how long she was an every-two-hour-nurser, that I made sure to tell myself in the months before my second daughter was born, “The baby might want to nurse all the time, and that’s ok.” It really helped me. I don’t even keep track of how often she nurses, because I’ll nurse on demand no matter how often it is, and I know from experience that it won’t last forever.
Julie commented on May 05 11 at 11:29 amOh honey, I’ve SO been there. ((giant hugs)) With my first, nobody ever told me what was “wrong” and I ended up supplementing until I simply dried up. This time around, I had access to support, and so I knew what was coming. To be frank, and it probably won’t make you feel much better, I simply dealt with it and went a little (ok maybe a lot lol) crazy for a while. The previous poster is right. A sling can be a sanity saver if you’ve got a kiddo who can take the boob without you having to prop it for him. Mine unfortunately couldn’t accomplish this until about 4 and a half months cuz, well, I’ve got HUGE TRACKS OF LAND. rotflmao. I started pumping so that I could get a break, and I would highly suggest this for your family too if you have the ability/inclination. You hang in there, sweetie! We’re all rooting for ya!
Marie commented on May 05 11 at 4:55 pmI’ll be honest, I hated cluster feeding so much. My daughter spent maybe 4 hours a night mostly nursing for a couple of weeks (at about 8-10 weeks old), and I watched one of the two television channels we got. She had terrible colic that got better just after this period, so it was the end of the misery. My supply plummeted just afterward (or really, she got big enough to need all of the extra milk I had been making and leaking everywhere) so the end may be in sight. Hang in there!
Lindsey commented on May 06 11 at 12:02 amI was so here a few weeks ago. My baby is 2 1/2 months and was eating EVERY 2 hours (including at night). I have a 2 1/2 year old too. I always feel bad because he wants me to play with him, but I’m connected to the other. So while I am feeding we read books, tons of books!
I also tried to supplement with formula, but he must’ve hated the taste. When he would choke the stuff down my milk would be low the next day.
dawn commented on May 11 11 at 12:21 amHey girl, been there, going through it again. Except this time it feels like he wants to cluster feed all day. Maybe because I have to keep putting him down to drive this one to karate, get that one a drink, help the two year old with the potty(we are not ignoring that one!) Then it’s his turn again. And the cycle repeats…
Michelle commented on May 20 11 at 3:47 pmGoing through the same thing. I super swaddle mine, and use a sound machine… (or have the vacuum on). It calms him way down (he still eats a crazy amount, but he isn’t so fussy, which saves my sanity/nipples). Also, if I am stressed and not letting down, I hand him off to the Hubs to give him some pumped milk
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