I don’t have any kids, but I get comments like this about my dog ALL the time. “You should get him a different collar”, “He should have a trainer”, etc. It just blows my mind the tone some of these people carry. If you want to have a conversation with me and share your ideas collectively and calmly, I’m happy to hear. Being rude will not make us listen any deeper…it’s just hurtful and annoying. I’m sorry you had to go through it! And I believe some sunshine is good for everyone, babies to senior citizens!

I don’t have any kids yet(struggling with infertility at current moment) but man that would make my blood boil! People don’t have a right to judge others. I think I would be so mad, I wouldn’t know what to say! I do like the comment above “thanks for minding my business” but I would want to say something like “you shouldn’t wear that outfit” LOL. But that isn’t very nice, and goes against my believing in that we shouldn’t judge others. But we aren’t perfect! :) I suppose repeating the Dr seuss quote might help me.. “those who matter don’t mind and thost that mind don’t matter”

I had my 1 & 4 year olds at the store with me at 10:00 at night when I was preparing to move cross country (while being fully pregnant) and people were talking to my kids saying “you should be in bed, it is well past your bedtime. ” I can’t tell you how much it pissed me off. I was working like 20 hour days and I figured if I had 20 minutes to spend with my kids at wal-mart, it’s better than leaving them at home where I know they would be avoiding bed time anyways. So I told them “well I guess I will leave them home by themselves or let them stay in the car” and they walked away. It’s so easy to judge people, and I realize I probably do it all the time, but I don’t verbalize it, but while I’m talking I’ll just say to the above commenter: Calling out” huge” women and demonizing them because their size is not only NOT cool but it also perpetuates negative body images and makes size based discrimination socially acceptable.

He is the sweetest spring flower in this photo!

ahh yes — I had a MIL that was very good with advice – and I (ok so I had raging hormones) took it as indication of my inability to be a good decent mother. I felt wounded. I did not wish to start World War 3 over such a thing – so bit my tongue. Yes, my tongue was bleeding due to the biting. BUT … I did come to realize that she was trying to help, and sometimes her advice was actually good. So … I smiled and took what I could use and threw the other away and didn’t feel one way or other – as child was growing and thriving in all ways. I learned how to react selectively let’s say :) So just maybe … all these ladies are grandmas that are just remembering being a ‘mommy’ and missing those days. Or .. maybe they are just busy bodies – but in any case ‘ smile and ignore” :) No response necessary.

I try not to give advice myself and when I see little ones being a bit agitated late in evening – I assume that the parents have good reason to have them out, and are getting frazzled as well. I try to give them a smile of support. Been there … and survived :)

Proud of your reaction Roni and I am loving Lauren’s comment “My stock response to comments like that is, “Thanks for minding my business.” That usually shuts people up!”

I always loved the dirty breastfeeding looks I would get when I BF in public. That really made me mad but I never received an actual comment from anyone. I was prepared for a comeback though.

Now when I think back to it I wish I would have said to those who were rudely staring is this “would you like some mommy milk too”? :O)

Too funny about twins :) I have twins as well, and made me remember the comments and questions. I think I was too shocked to answer. I recall trying to sneak out to stores without them and leave home with daddy so could avoid the questions, stares and thinking we should stop every 3 feet.

Oh yes…I can’t stand people who think they can parent YOUR kids. You are their mom, YOU know what’s best for them. I can’t recall any comments from strangers but I sure get tons of them from my own mom. She tells me what worked for her when my siblings and I were younger but times are different now. I just smile and say, well what worked then doesn’t work now. Or a simple mind your own business works too. :)

At the time I was nursing my daughter who was about 3 weeks old. She was a very colicky baby and she fussed all the time. I say ‘fussed’ but she pretty much screamed bloody murder for the first few months of her life. So, imagine my feeling of complete joy when I had a person tell me that the reason my baby was fussing all the time was because she was probably hungry. “You know what you need to do? Give that baby some formula, she’s hungry, that’s why she keeps crying. That baby can’t possibly be satisfied being breastfed.” Well, thanks for the advice lady! I wanted to invite her to my house and let her live my life for 24 hours. Well, what I wanted to do to her wasn’t appropriate in public, so I just said “Good idea, that never crossed my mind. I bet she’s starving to death.” Ugh…some people.

I have a son who recently turned 4 years old who still has a pacifier.

I’ve had a dentist tell me that it is not detrimental to his teeth – not causing any damage. I am now 40 – I was five before I gave mine up – my teeth are straight and healthy and I have no mental issues from having one until that age – my mother waited and let me give it up of my own accord, which is what I plan to do with him.

For the last two years I cannot count how many people will look at him and “playfully” say – “You’re too big for that.” or “Give me that”. I don’t care how playful you think you are being – its no more of your business than if I were to say to you as playfully as I could — “You’re too fat to be eating that.”

I don’t care if he sucks on it before his graduation – its STILL none of your business! Its not going to turn him into a serial killer or anything else. I finally started telling anyone who does that “Its none of your business how old he is or how long he chooses to have that in his mouth.” or a variation thereof, depending on my mood. (I’ll admit I’ve gotten loud with a few).

Seriously people, when did my child’s vice become any of your stinking business? Keep your opinions to yourself!

Dana – I’d normally agree but it’s the tone. There’s no need for people to bark parenting advice in passing with such snippiness. They don’t mean well they are just being rude.

Unfortunately, alot of people think they have great advice without even knowing you or the situation at hand… Its frustrating… My all time favorite “Your soo skinny, and you just had a baby..” I don’t like having to explain my whole medical history to a complete stranger.. their eyes go wide when I say that my son isn’t my 1st, he’s my 4th…..I wouldn’t wish my skinniness on anyone, because you wouldn’t want to deal with the constant pain, the lab tests, the clueless diagnosis’, and the extreme frustration I had to deal with on a daily basis. I’m a good, strong Mom, who care for my children with all my heart, and that is all that counts. :)

I’ve gotten sneers from old women when my kids were outside as babies. Even worse, a woman came up to me and my baby daughter while we were on a summer walk and said “you know, they make sunscreen for babies now, too.” I replied: “I know, she’s wearing it, but she’s biracial and gets her natural skin tone from her father.”

Foodie, your comment made me smile – I recently directed a show where I work and was gone from the house after 6 p.m. for more than 6 weeks. My husband took over the nighttime feeding/bathing/putting to bed of our toddler. At the end of the time, they had BONDED in a big way, and he was no longer loathe to do those things with her (thinking he would do it wrong or whathaveyou). I was sad that I missed a few things, but happy for them. And my work was successful and necessary to my career. Sometimes mom has to be gone from home but it can benefit everyone – why are people so judgmental about this? why are men not held to the same standard?

Yep!! Thats the problem in todays world,, no one knows how to keep their mouths shut!!! and stay out of other peoples business!! Everyone is entitled to thier own oppionion,, but they are not entitled to speak it whenever they feel fit!! Thats my opionion,,lol. I know how you feel,.,, my son is 6 and I still get unwelcome advice,, or comments!! If people worried more about their own kids maybe kids wouldnt be the way they are today!!,,,sorry sore subject for me,, I sympathize with you,, hang in there!! Hope everyone has a great day!!

after a stranger at the mall asked how old my baby was, she chastised me & told me she didn’t have her twins out (my son was 4 weeks premature) until they were X weeks old. Annoying.

Unsolicited advice (parenting or otherwise) has got to be my biggest pet peeve. If my kid is about to run into the road and it’s obvious that I don’t see her, then sure, say or do something… but beyond that, mind your own business (and I also love the comment above about, “Thank you for minding my business.” :-D)

I also have to echo above, though, that no matter how rude someone is, it doesn’t give you license to be rude yourself… especially if you’re doing so in a way that is not only insulting that person, but everybody who shares the particular trait you’re making fun of (i.e. making a rude comment about them being overweight). If anything, it makes you worse than the person who was, maybe, trying to helpful in their own way (even if their way comes off as being incredibly rude).

When I was pregnant with Gavin – I was at the Motherhood store in White Marsh buying some new clothes. I had stopped at Starbucks on my way – all in moderation :) Well the lady behind the counter said in the rudest voice “you know that coffee will make your baby be born without a nose”… I was so surprised by her rude and STUPID comment that I just stood there with my mouth wide open.

We went for a walk with my daughter (then about 2.5 months old). It was warm when we left the house, but got colder on the way back. She was wearing long-sleeved pj’s with footsies, a knitted sweater, hat, and had a blanket double-folded, plus one of those stroller muffs. but she had her little hands out. It was probably low 50′s, possibly high 40′s. Her hands are always cold, but she insists on having them out to grasp the blanket. We ran into our next door neighbor, who said hi to us, looked at our baby, and in “baby-talk” said to her, “Oh, did your parents let you leave the house without putting mittens on you?”. So passive-aggressive!

Oh, how it makes my day to know that people who don’t spend more than a few minutes with the baby, seem to be experts! :) Man Cub is a belly sleeper! There! I said it! He’s 3 years old now, but I need to ‘cleanse’! It took me about 3 days of being at home and his sleeping at 15-20 minute intervals, on his back, but all day nap-a thons on my chest to see the light. When I was a baby, we were put on our bellies! Thirty one years later, I still sleep like that. My sister, HATED it! My Mom was wise enough to see that she wanted to sleep on her back. The nurse would always flip her over. My sister came home with a SCAB on her nose from crying and rubbing her face into the sheet. I confided this to his pediatrician who,to my shock, told me ” It’s ok. My kids were tummy sleepers too.” I still have the onesie that says ” Always Back to Sleep” Sorry. Everyone is different!
He hated to be swaddled. ( H-A-T-E-D it!) , but MIL always insisted that he needed to be head to toe covered.The screaming and fussing commenced Then I gleefully undressed him to stop his crying. He’s my ‘Briar Baby’. Runs barefoot 365 days a year ( inside, of course!)
I’ve yet to come across the ” Stranger in the Check-Out”. I must look mean enough to ward then off!