Babys First Year Blog
It’s Just The Hiccups, Sir.
Nothing to see here.
We returned from our cross-country venture last night. This morning, Fuzz and I strolled over to Trader Joe’s to pick up some staples. We all know how much I love this place, but sometimes, I encounter people that instill violence in me.
For some reason, at the Joe, people feel like they can say whatever they want, right to your face. It’s like the Joe is a place where no one’s feelings will get hurt. Suddenly everyone is an authority about everything. Take parenting, for example, or babies in particular: People often comment on Fuzz’s adorability, and some will just leave it at that. Others will tack on their take on whatever the hell they feel like saying that they have no business saying.
Today’s gems were related to Fuzz’s hiccups.
Fuzz had been hiccupping our way through the aisles of the store when we encountered a pregnant woman. We exchanged a few words. She remarked at Fuzzball’s cuteness and told me about her recent sonogram (she told me, I didn’t ask). Then she said:
“Ohhhhh, he has the hiccups. That’s because it’s cold in here.”
What??
Then she gave him a look like she felt sorry for him because he had the hiccups.
Moving on, we came upon an employee of Trader Joe’s. This gentleman was genuinely concerned about Fuzz’s hiccups and even scared him to try to get rid of them.
Yes.
This was the most awful thing I think I have witnessed since Fuzz had his blood drawn like a big person. I wanted to reach out and smack this dude, or at the very least scream at him. The image of my baby being scared by him will be imprinted on my brain forever. But, I didn’t want to burn any bridges at this Trader Joe’s, especially since it’s a 6 minute walk from my house. So, after his technique failed, I calmly told him that babies regularly get the hiccups and it’s completely normal and harmless (unlike the psychological damage YOU just caused). I didn’t say that last part, but I wanted to, I really did.
Another time, a couple of months ago, an elderly woman said to me: “Oh, he’s such a friendly little guy! Was it a natural birth?”
What I should have said:
“What the !@#$ kind of question is that to ask a stranger in a grocery store?”
What I said instead:
“No, he was a C-section.”
I think her question took me by such surprise that I just blurted out any answer without thinking. But in retrospect, I wanted to punch her in the face.
Have you ever been in such public situations where people think they can say or do whatever to you and your baby?
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16 Comments
Meagan commented on Jan 21 11 at 12:36 am“Was it a natural birth?”
“Ah, no… He’s a clone. Is it that obvious?”
Naomi commented on Jan 21 11 at 12:40 am@Meagan – DAMN, I wish I thought of that one!!
Anoosh J. commented on Jan 21 11 at 12:41 amWow, I’m so sorry that guy scared Fuzz. That is so awful!
It’s not just the Joe, Naomi – everyone everywhere feels entitled to critique your pregnancy and parenting at any time!
I do feel it’s better at my co-op – it seems the worst that happens to me there is that everyone wants to admire the baby or talk to him, even when I’m rushing to shop before picking up the toddler from day care. And I can’t think of a more supportive place to publicly breastfeed!
Welcome back, by the way.
Jessica commented on Jan 21 11 at 12:43 amThis doesn’t happen to me often, but then again, I’m not very friendly, which helps enormously. :)
Scott commented on Jan 21 11 at 8:03 amJessica has a point. It’s probably people having awkward attempts at being friendly. I’ve walked away from public encounters where I wanted to be friendly and kicked myself for being unintentionally rude and careless. Makes me just want to shut up and ignore people. The trouble is, I think I need the practice. So on behalf of the good-intentioned awkward people, we’re sorry and we do think you have a really cute baby.
El commented on Jan 21 11 at 9:33 amBoth things were at TJ’s
Once both my kids were having tantrums, so they were buckled in the stroller with the sunshades pulled down so I could get out quick. Some woman came up and rold me my kids were crying, and proceeded to start to unbuckled them. I told her they were having a tantrum, and to not touch my kids. She started berating me as one of “those” mothers who are too protective of their kids.
Another lady wanted me to take my sleeping infant out of her ergo so she could hold her.
Seriously, what is up with TJ’s shoppers?
Sarah commented on Jan 21 11 at 10:03 amWow. All these stories are pretty bad, but the natural childbirth one still takes the cake as far as I’m concerned. It is so rude, presumptuous and implicitly judgmental. It reminds me of when one of my doulas told me after S was born that I should “make room to apologize” to him for having been ultimately born by c-section (after failure to progress AT ALL after 36 hours of labor). Grrr. Morgan says you should have told the woman, “I did! In fact I’m still all stretched out down there! Wanna see?” I said, the problem is that the type of person who would ask something so insensitive might just say yes!
Devora commented on Jan 21 11 at 12:51 pmI would have been banned from Trader Joe’s from punching that guy in the face. Poor Fuzz, he is such a cutie pie.
As for the lady (old or not) that was such a rude comment. I would have told her “Of course the stork dropped him off, where else do babies come from”.
My mother in law used to say when babies hiccuped there heart stopped. Seriously.
madfoot commented on Jan 21 11 at 1:15 pmThat’s so odd, my Trader Joe’s is the one place where I can reliably count on people to be nice and not “hat police” me!
I think you should brainstorm some “snappy answers to stupid questions,” like Mad Magazine used to run. I hate for these people to get away with being shrieking asshats, and going about their days thinking they’re big heroes.
I would almost certainly have assaulted that guy who scared Fuzz. I mean, maybe I woudln’t have punched him, but I would have scared him right back: ROWR.
Naomi commented on Jan 21 11 at 4:13 pm@ Scott- thanks! It’s National Hug Day! Hug a good-intentioned awkward person!
Naomi commented on Jan 21 11 at 4:21 pm@El- yikes! sounds like a nightmare!
@Sarah- holy cow- guess you won’t be hiring, or recommending that doula- what utter bullcrap!
@Devora- thanks! btw, my mother-in-law used to say crazy stuff like that, too
@Amy- totally should’ve scared him. seriously, i will never forget Fuzz’s face. f-head.
Naomi commented on Jan 21 11 at 4:22 pm@Jessica – :-)
Naomi commented on Jan 21 11 at 4:23 pm@Anoosh- thanks, mama!
grumpy mama commented on Jan 21 11 at 5:00 pmTwo things that bother me- when people see me and ask, ‘where’s your baby?’. I admit I’m snarky enough that I want to look around and be like, ‘OMG! I knew I forgot something.’ Instead I just admit that in order to go to work, I do have to bring my child to daycare. Despite the comments like, ‘isn’t he a little young?’.
The other thing I hate is when I’m pushing an empty stroller, to pick up said child, and people see me pushing the empty stroller and ask questions like, ‘where’s your passenger?’ or ‘missing something?’. First, none of your business, second, implying I’ve lost my child is never funny. It just isn’t, so yeah, those people can all go STFU.
Lucky commented on Jan 21 11 at 9:52 pm@Madfoot- LMFAO asshats… beautiful.
Morgan Lee commented on Feb 05 11 at 10:18 pmHeh. I moved to Utah from CA three years ago, so I haven’t been in a TJ’s in quite a while. I had my baby in Utah, and here… well, babies are everywhere, so you don’t get as many comments because people see them all the time. And the only comments I get are in the “Oh, he’s so cute” and “Wow, look at all that hair” vein. When I take him to CA for a visit this summer, we’ll have to stop at TJ’s so I can see what happens!
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