Babys First Year Blog
Halloween: The Poopination
this really doesn't look nearly as bad as it was.
I think this explains the sleep issues Abby’s been plagued with for the last two days. I just changed a poop the likes of which I have never seen. It reminded me of one of those bad guys in the movies, the creepy scary slasher flicks, who lull you into a sense of relief that they’re finally dead… and then they pop up again!
It was like Saw, but with poop.
I had no idea poop could come out the back and front of a diaper. Or that it could get on a baby’s feet and head. It was everywhere. It was like Okinawa, but with poop.
In the living room, the TV was still on, to this annoying dramatic movie playing that annoying dramatic slow-motion-eye-closeup-death-scene music the whole time. As if I didn’t already feel the extreme urgency of not getting poop on more of myself than it already was, the TV music felt the need to really set the mood.
The only consolation was that in the aftermath of this poop, which had obviously been weighing heavy on Abby’s mind (and belly), Abby was completely delighted and happy, grinning up at me from her puddle of poop.
Seriously, it was like the elevators in The Shining… but with poop.
So I took her over to the bathtub and gave her a little scrub-down, which is always occasion for extreme paranoia. Knowing how much poop is going on, do I have to scrub down the bathtub with bleach or Fantastik or whatever, so we don’t get dysentery? Or is that just as toxic? Anyway, nobody’s face got washed. I just scrubbed places where I knew there was poop (everywhere) and got her the heck out of there ay-sapp.
Then I had to clear off the changing table with one hand while hugging my naked, toweled, but happy baby to my chest with the other. Thank goodness, at least I had gotten a protective layer underneath all the horrorshow so it was easy to clear away. Then I gave Abby the once-over, and finished cleaning more poop out of her vagina.
There’s something they don’t tell you about in the hospital. They spend fifteen minutes yapping about the umbilicus, and nobody says word one about cleaning poop out of a vagina. The pediatrician had to show me. Hells bells.
Finally, she was wearing her pretty little sundress, and we repaired to the couch, where she was finally, after a couple of days of being a little off her appetite, ready for a little restorative num-num.
And then, just as I thought I was safe, I saw it: a tiny drop of poop on the strap of her dress. Dun dun DUN!
It was like the last scene in Carrie, but… well, you get the idea.
Tell me about your poop horror shows!
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4 Comments
mbaker commented on Oct 13 10 at 10:48 amAs a mom who has been in the poopslosion trenches, let me warn you that some babies, including my son, can shoot poop out of their backsides. Also, it gets worse when they learn to take off their diapers and/or become mobile. My preferred method for scrubbing down a poopy baby if they can sit up is to hold them in the kitchen sink and lightly hose them down with a sink sprayer before getting out the soap. The advantage of this method is that you have a smaller surface area to disinfect post cleaning. Also, I highly recommend if you have carpet in your home that you invest in a hand held or vacuum sized carpet cleaner. It sounds excessive but you will save money and frustration in the long run.
Naomi commented on Oct 13 10 at 11:15 amAh yes, I like to refer to these as ‘poopcidents’ or ‘poopsplosions.’ it usually happens right after I change H into a brand new, exceptionally cute outfit.
Carrie commented on Oct 13 10 at 1:43 pmIn that case I (my daughter) had a “poopcident” this morning. This was after she spit-up/threw-up 1/2 her breakfast (breastmilk) which all in all nessecitated her 3rd clothing change of the morning. She somehow managed to get poop on the front outside of her pants – a total mystery to me.
I’m pretty sure i’m wearing poop (at work) right now.
When she was a couple of months old she would have what we called ‘projectile poop’. If you weren’t careful during a changing she would poop with such power that it would skip the changing table completely and hit the wall, which means to this day we never ever stand with her feet facing us during a changing.
emmittjames commented on Oct 14 10 at 9:20 amwe call it a pooptastrophe. and my 4yo son still has them (that involves more of an urgency and not-making-it-to-the-potty-quickly-enough. did you know you could poop on the outside, back of your pants? it can be done.) re: poop in the vagina? no kidding. we had a boy first, and had dealt with all sorts of poop situations. when our daughter was born, my husband tried to clean the first meconium poop, and completely panicked. we had to get a nurse. the folds! SO. MANY. CREVICES. its a whole different game than cleaning a boy. they may pee on you from time to time, but its still an easier clean up.
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