The simple answer is I think (many) American parents are too uptight about a lot of things…and all the wrong ones, mostly! Myself included, to be fair. But on your specific question, why wouldn’t parents encourage sibling interaction with their children, from the very beginning? I don’t see the downside, at all. Obviously, there are some safety concerns. And I don’t like the idea of parents abdicating their responsibility, leaving older siblings to be surrogate parents, but to have them help, and interact, as much as they want, and are capable of? I can’t imagine why any parent would discourage that!

My son was five when his little sister was born, and that age gap meant he could be a huge help. When she was one, he was six, and he was old enough that I could ask him to watch her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom or did some other household task that was easier without a walking baby along. When he was seven and she was two, we went on a road trip together, and I got her one of those hated ‘leashes’ precisely because that meant it was easier for her big brother to hold onto her in a crowded place – and he did, and it was really helpful. Now she’s three and he’s eight, and although she drives him crazy a lot of the time, he still watches out for her and can help her with things in the back seat when I’m busy driving. Compared to three, eight is practically adult, or so I’ve found!

I’m all for older siblings helping with child care. With my own two, I didn’t get much help because my 5.5-year-old despised her little brother on sight. She’s 14 now, and is resigned to him, but even now if I sent him off to boarding school she’d be thrilled.

I was the eldest of 6 kids, and there was a 4-year gap between child #3 and child #4. I was 7 when #4 was born, and did plenty of diapering/feeding/playing with him and the next 2. I’m still kind of amazed when I remember that when I was 11 and the youngest was just 2, my parents took us on a house-hunting trip in another state (the rest of the kids got to stay with relatives). While they went out looking at houses, we were left alone in a motel. Of course, we were fine – it’s not like I was an idiot, and I had 2 solid years of taking care of this kid – but I can’t imagine doing it with my own.

The third arrived when the second was four & all of the preschool pals so LOVED him that regardless of their snotty green goopy noses they still had to hug him all winter long. He didn’t get sicker than the older two had & he has grown up to become, at just turned eight, one of their “gang.” Everyone takes care of the fourth (now two) & I just think it’s more divine than I could have imagined. Good for everyone in countless ways. I’d almost keep going but alas. Done.

My oldest was 6.5 when his little brother was born. To forge that bond, we started right off. L. (the oldest) got the day off of school since the birth of S. was a planned one. The nurses were totally on board with this too. L. got to watch his brother get his first bath, and L was the first family member to hold S. Even today at 15 and 8.5, they are buddies, sharing a room still. I don’t know what I would have done without L’s help! I was busy writing a dissertation, and L helped me lots and lots back then — feeding, holding, rocking, and comfort. There were times when S wanted his brother to hold him and would stop crying as soon as L cuddled up with him. Even today, when S goes to the dentist or doctor, he wants L to come too. So, YES, we let our oldest do a lot to help out.

I’m going to take the other side slightly. I think that having older sibling help is a good thing as long as you don’t get carried away. I know the first time I ever watched the Jon & Kate show, I was annoyed that the then 5 year olds were expected to entertain the babies for an hour. A few minutes yes, but an hour every morning, is a bit much, I think. Part of my reaction to that was probably from my own experience. My youngest two siblings are 10 and 13 years younger than I am. I helped a lot when they were growing up, often willingly. However, I was expected to watch them every Friday and Saturday night so my mother could go out barhopping after my father passed away (when the youngest was 9 months old). I realize it was hard for her, but I think I should have deserved some time away from the siblings (maybe to a party or two myself). If it wasn’t directly school related, I was to be home taking care of them. Band practice – I could be out of the home, band party – nope – watch the kids.

All things in moderation.

There was 4.5 years difference between my brother and me and the exact same age difference between my two boys. It was the perfect age difference. My brother was such a huge help and loved me from the minute he knew I was going to be his sister and my oldest son was the exact same way about his brother. THe bond that I share with my brother and my two boys share with one another could not be any stronger.

I had my kids help. I have a large family (7 children), and they children are spaced fairly close. When my third child was born, I told the older two children (age 2 1/2 and 4)that we were going to all have to work together to get things done and if we wanted to do fun things together outside of the house we were going to have to work as a team. Their help was often in the form of entertaining the baby so that I could get household work done, but sometimes it meant that the children helped with the housework. When we went out of the house, we always divided up into pairs, with older children responsible for younger ones. As new children were born into the family, younger children were expected to play an active roll. As the older children got bigger, they were taken off of child care duty and given other responsibilities. I think it was a great experience for the kids. I have to say, I think that it gave the kids a realistic experience of what taking care of children was like. None of the kids has been interested in marrying or having children early.

I was 12 when my baby sister was born. I was crazy about babies and absolutely loved taking care of my sister. When she was a newborn (like a month old) a very good friend of the family passed away and I stayed home from school to take care of her while my parents went to the funeral. When she was under a year old (not sure how old), my parents went away for the weekend to my cousin’s wedding and left the 4 of us (my brother was 13 and my other sister was 10) alone for the weekend. Now I think that my parents were crazy. What were they thinking? But I guess that I was a very responsible pre-teen. In a million years, I would not have a 12 year old stay alone with my baby! So times have changed, for sure. Not sure why – I guess we are overprotective now. I never resented taking care of my sister and actually loved it. My cousin was in high school and also loved taking care of the baby and when she would come over to watch her while my parents went out, I was so incredibly jealous that I hated every minute of it. This led to a very lucrative career as a sitter in my town. And again, when I think of the neighbors who left me at 13 years old with their toddler triplets, I find it hard to believe. Or a 4 year-old, two year old and newborn!

Yes, a lot of parents are too uptight about this… and too uptight about a lot of other things as well.
My 7 month old doesn’t have siblings or cousins close by but I frequently take care of other children and she’s around our friends kids a lot. I let them help take care of her as much as they are capable and desire. I know it’s good for everyone.

I’m a mother of 5 and 1 on the way. My children are 7, 5, 4, 2, and 1. Our newest baby is due in a few months. I have not seen “Babies” but I do know that in our house, older ones are expected to help with younger ones. It’s part of being in a family. If a baby is crying and mommy is cooking dinner and daddy is at work, pitch in and try to help. My 7 year old can change a diaper (cloth or disposable), he can make a bottle, he can feed a baby (bottle or baby food), he can find a pacifier, he can rock a baby or bounce a baby, he can play with a baby. My 5 year old can do most of that minus the cloth diaper and making a bottle. They really enjoy doing it, that is until the baby becomes a walking, talking toddler that steals toys. HAHA. It works for everyone here.

I was twelve when my little brother was born and did a lot of child care. I started changing diapers as soon as he grew enough that his prefolded diapers didn’t have to be folded in thirds and I was strong enough to get a pin through one. I think the smartest thing my parents did was to realise that he was not my child. As I got older and started having a social life if I wanted to go out on a night they had plans they hired a sitter. The only exception to this great attitude….When he was about three he kept waking me up at night if his bed was wet. Come to find out years later my mom told him to. Seriously, being part of a family means helping to the best of your ability. I think kids need to learn this early on.

My two kids are only 21 months apart, and before her brother was even born, my daughter was trying to figure out how to put diapers on (practicing with her stuffed animals) so she could: “Help Baby.” I think siblings, male and female, need to help because family is family. At the same time, I bristled the other day when someone told my daughter that she was going to take good care of her brother when he started at her preschool in the new year. I was given the “responsibility” of taking care/looking after my little brother growing up. At the end of the day, he had a mother everywhere (at school, at swim meets, everywhere) and I felt burdened a lot of the time. But I also loved him and did it anyway. I want my kids to love and look out for one another, but I also want them to understand that they each have their own lives to live. All about balance.

My eldest had just turned 3 when his baby brother was born. Right from the beginning, he loved to entertain his brother. Because the baby was in the NICU and I was recovering in my room, I missed their first meeting, but they exchanged gifts (with the help of their father and grandparents) and then #1 sang to his newborn brother. Now, nearly a year later, the boys make one another giggle. I can count on my eldest to stay with his brother if I need to check the laundry, for instance, and he still loves to sing to the baby. We have no family nearby (not even in the same time zone), but whenever we go to Europe, our niece is delighted to play with and help care for her little cousins. I love it.

I loved when my mom would tell me about when my little brother was a baby. He was born 8 days before I turned 1. She told me I use to go put my hand in to the crib and pat him and say ” My baby”. I was 8 1/2 when my baby brother was born and I always helped with him. I have a picture of me giving him a bath when he was still only a few months old.
I always encourage my grandchildren to help with their siblings. I think it is really great for them to bond that way. We have one due any time now. The brothers that live here are 13,14, & 19. I’m hoping they take part in caring for the new one. The 19 year old lives with me, and I will be baby sitting while the parent are in school (collage) so I’m thinking he will help me. The 13 & 14 year old live with the baby & parents so I hope they help there.