Ban These Books
Posted September 1st, 2011 at 1:00 am
I’m a big reader. I read all different kinds of books (that’s sort of a lie because I mainly read memoirs and novels). Reading books with my children has always been hugely important to me and a big part of our family traditions. RIF!
Proof of My Parenting Prowess
I was even one of those annoying moms who thought it was a good idea to read Lyle Lyle Crocodile to my kids while they were still in my belly. I know I know they can’t hear it “per se” but they could sense the greatness of that sweet green guy! But, not all books aimed at kids, even some very popular books, are up to my Lyle Lyle standards. Some of them suck. And when it comes to reading books with my children I don’t have time for anything that’s less then great. Here are a few that made my ban. When you’re done hearing me rag on the bad ones, you can go here for a list of my favorites!
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My Top 9 Favorite Kids’ Books of All Time | Baby On Bored: Electric Boogaloo with Stefanie Wilder Taylor commented on Oct 05 11 at 11:50 am[...] If you want a short list of the books I feel should not be on your wish list, I wrote that here. [...]
Worst Toys To Buy Your (Or My) Kids This Year | Baby On Bored: Electric Boogaloo with Stefanie Wilder Taylor commented on Dec 16 11 at 1:01 pmheather... commented on Sep 01 11 at 1:48 amUm, I just bought the rights to Harold and the Purple Crayon. Are you saying I wasted my money?
Stefanie Wilder Taylor commented on Sep 01 11 at 2:08 amHeather, no. I think it will make a fantastic movie. Do it in 3D to really get the most out of the OUTLINES.
Kitty Shannon commented on Sep 01 11 at 3:09 amOMG……I was just thinking, as I was reading Maggie her allotted 3 books, that someone needed to expose these damn things for what they are: nightmare-inducing creepiness. I feel exactly the same way about “I’ll Love You Forever”. WTF?? She dies in the end! Oh…thanks…that’s an easy one to explain to a 3 year old. What about “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.” Really? We’re dragging the entire family (including the infant) through rivers and shit looking for a BEAR? Oh yeah….and we FIND the bear….and then it comes after the family and chases them all the way home. Great. Thanks.
Amy Lowe commented on Sep 01 11 at 8:12 amhilarious
Rebecca commented on Sep 01 11 at 8:31 amSadly, there is a movie for Harold and the Purple Crayon…..we’ve seen it a dozen times. Library rental.
Stefanie Wilder Taylor commented on Sep 01 11 at 9:39 amOoh, Going on a Bear Hunt. Good one, Kitty! And I should have told everyone the mom dies at the end of Love You Forever but I didn’t want to have to do a “spoiler alert.” Maybe I should have done a “spoiler alert” before saying THIS BOOK SUCKS.
Rebecca, I didn’t know about the damn Harold movie. I need a researcher.
david commented on Sep 01 11 at 9:55 amI haven’t read Goodnight Moon for a while, but I remember it having a false ending in it as well. You go from the interior all the way outside to say goodnight to the barn or something. Since we’ve all seen the miracle of moving pictures, we recognize this as a wrapping-it-up-by-zooming-out move. But no! It’s back inside for 15 more snooze-inducing pages of inanity! It made me mad every time I read it.
Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him commented on Sep 01 11 at 10:33 amYou know who loves that book in my house?? My husband. And guess who put an inscription in his copy? His mother.
It’s the preamble to Psycho. That’s why I won’t let him check me into anything less than a Marriott.
sugar mama commented on Sep 01 11 at 10:55 amgoodnight moon was all about finding the mouse for my kids. that, and it fit perfectly under our wobbly table. xo
Michelle L commented on Sep 01 11 at 11:56 amAgreed on all except for Goodnight Moon, which as a lyricist I see as being kinda lyrical (“goodnight air” is a lovely line). But yeah, it’s boring for anyone over, like, one year old. Mainly, I’m chiming in to add “The Giving Tree” to your list of bad kid books. The image of the old guy sitting on the tree stump at the end fills me with such rage, I basically want to punch the old guy and give the stupid, co-dependent tree a copy of “Women Who Love too Much.” And it gives some unwanted insight into Shel Silverstein’s relationship with his mother. Eew.
Karen commented on Sep 01 11 at 7:19 pmAgreed, except Goodnight Moon. Boring? Maybe, but if you’re reading it at bedtime, you kinda WANT it to be boring so they’ll fall asleep.
I’ve got one…..The Grouchy Ladybug. “Wanna fight?” WTF?
Katie commented on Sep 01 11 at 10:09 pmUgh! I HATE “Love You Forever.” Always have. I totally agree! It drives me nuts.
Stefanie Wilder Taylor commented on Sep 02 11 at 12:22 amWow, Karen, Grouchy Ladybug! Good catch! That book is ridiculous! The ladybug reminds me of me as a teenager. Just a piss poor attitude for no reason all the time. On the other hand, low blood sugar can make anyone irritable.
Stefanie Wilder Taylor commented on Sep 02 11 at 12:23 amMichelle, I’m with you on The Giving Tree. If this book came out today the tree would have to go to a coda meeting stat.
Marlene commented on Sep 02 11 at 2:15 pmI’m so glad someone else confessed to not liking “Goodnight Moon.” Criminally boring is right! When I “try” reading it to my little guy, I’m afraid I might fall asleep first. I know it’s not a book for me, but can’t the parents be entertained at the same time? Now I’m reading most of Mo Willems’ books so I can at least get a laugh.
Shelly commented on Sep 03 11 at 11:39 amI read my kids Goodnight Moon (yeah it was all about the mouse) and my son loves Harold…but they also enjoyed Where the Wild Things Are and just incidentally I read them LotR and Wiz of Oz and Chronicles of Narnia and they really loved all THOSE too! Much more entertaining for ME. And way too cute to hear a 2 yr old “but where was Gandalf, Mommy??”
Kat Clark commented on Sep 05 11 at 3:14 pmHow about The Very Hungry Caterpillar? My son got a pop up version as a gift, and of course he did not rip any of the pop up food out of it. I mean the caterpillar obviously has an eating disorder. I am sure I will think of more during story time tonight!
irene commented on Sep 05 11 at 10:20 pmHave all of you forgotten how to LOVE? Every time I read I Love You Forever, I cry buckets of tears. Am I proud of this? No. The only people who know this dirty little secret are my children who make me read the book to them so they can watch me cry! Sick. I know. One day, I will be the parent sneaking in to my daughters’ dorms and holding them in their sleep, even if they’re spooning some frat guy.
And as for the mom dying at the end? YEAH, let my kids realize that I’m not here forever so they better appreciate me! Maybe stop biting me when I breatfeed them!
Jenny commented on Sep 07 11 at 6:35 pmLol, these (and the comments) are too funny! I haven’t read it in years, but I kinda like “I’ll love you forever.” It makes me cry too. There aren’t any that I dread reading over and over again because my daughter is super active and won’t sit still past the first couple sentences. But my 15 year stepson has one to add: Brown Bear, Brown Bear. He groans very loudly when she plops down in his lap holding that book. It makes me giggle.
missy commented on Sep 07 11 at 6:55 pmWOW IM SO GLAD I DIDNT READ ANY OF THOSE BOOKS A SECOND TIME.THEY ENDED IN THE BURN BARREL RIGHT AFTER THE FIRST TIME!!AND U JUST GOT ME THINKIN ABOUT HOW MANY MORE BORIN DUMASS BOOKS R OUT THERE THAT NEED TO HIT THE TRASH!
Casi commented on Sep 07 11 at 7:06 pmGoodnight Moon is actually fabulous for language development. In that little book, there are all of the sounds of the English language. Yes, I too find it dull. Even worse: I’ve memorized it because we’ve read it so much. But I bear it because my son loves the lyrical lines and flow.
Really witty take on children’s books. I find myself asking “Why????” during most of my son’s books. Lol. The things we do for our kids :)
Laura commented on Sep 07 11 at 7:47 pmGood grief. Banning books? When you have the choice whether to read or buy is the simplest way to avoid to ban your eyes and ears from them.
Mindy commented on Sep 07 11 at 7:57 pmI’ve never read the Harold book, but my kids adore the scholastic movie. I would add anything based on a toy, movie, or tv character, ie Barbie, Dora, Ariel, but my daughter loves them. I am not a fan of Pinkalicious or any of the sequels. The hardest ones are the Bernstein bears from my childhood. The kids love them, but they’re sooooo long and mom’s a nagging know it all and dad is an idiot.
Amy commented on Sep 07 11 at 8:37 pmOk, I strongly disagree with you. First of all the man who wrote Love you forever wrote it for his wife who has a stillbirth. As for the rest of those books you think are no good, I have read them to my son repeatedly and he absolutely loves Goodnight moon. We have been reading it since he was in my tummy
Stefanie Wilder Taylor commented on Sep 08 11 at 2:56 pmAmy, I have heard about this whole “stillbirth” inspiration. But I don’t really see how that makes it okay to put a ladder up on the wall of your son’s house, sneak in the window and rock him to sleep. Plus, where’s his wife? Is it supposed to be okay because the baby was stillborn? That just makes me really sad that the author went through the experience but it doesn’t explain the book.
And Laura, if books are going to be banned, these are just my picks. And also, I do read Goodnight Moon, it just annoys me.
Kathleen Schwarz commented on Sep 09 11 at 11:02 pmI just KNEW “Love you Forever” would be on this list. It was given to me by a family friend who included a hand written note inside about how she loves to read it to her [now 8 year old] son every night and was sure I’d start the same tradition with my own son. Uh, can you say creepy?!?! I didn’t preview the book before reading it to my poor infant and haven’t picked it up since. The picture of the little old lady cradling the grown man gives me nightmares. Also, Goodnight Moon is terrible. For whatever reason (it’s a “classic”) my husband and I persisted in reading that to our son nightly for about 6 months. “Goonight nobody”? WTF?? Who decides these classics anyway?! I’d also put a vote in for Brown Bear, Brown Bear.
Debra commented on Sep 10 11 at 8:26 pmThere are so many that I cant stand. What about The Rainbow Fish? Let’s see – there is something about you that makes you different and special. Apparently the other “fish” hate you and ostracize you for it. So you give away everything that makes you special to fit in and become exactly like everyone else, thereby being deemed worthy of friendship.
Andrea commented on Sep 10 11 at 9:03 pmYes, “Love You Forever” is right out of LAW AND ORDER:SVU. Case closed. Another one I can’t handle at all? “On the Day You Were Born”. A beloved relative gave me this book when I had my first child. “You won’t get through it without weeping” she warned me, and she was sorta right, because the hippie cheesiness nearly turned my breast milk sour.
Karen commented on Sep 11 11 at 12:31 amOMG – Rainbow Fish – Absolutely! Worst message pretty much ever.
V_T commented on Sep 27 11 at 4:12 pmAw, we LOVE the Babar series here! :) I never even read them before we had our son but somehow we acquired one of the books when he was a toddler and he fell FAST in love with the family. Hehe, I went on to buy him the whole original series. They have such a charming, old-world humor to them. Definitely some of the humor would be shocking to today’s parents, I guess. The recent Babar stuff (tv cartoon show and books) sadly water it all down and just don’t capture the orignal flavor.
Crys commented on Oct 04 11 at 2:45 pmLOL. Love you, Forever. My kids like seeing the boy grow up and drive his stalker mom crazy. I’ve made up a melody to the song the mom sings and we like to sing it together.
Good Night Moon, awww.. I love that book. It has a beautiful, lyrical flow to it with the cadence and the rhyme. I like it second to “The Big Red Barn”, but for rhythm, it rocks. Bedtime stories for the under 2 set shouldn’t inspire conversation. My boys talk enough!
You missed “Runaway Bunny” about a naughty bunny who runs away from his mother repeatedly.
Leigh Ann commented on Oct 08 11 at 10:32 amYeah, reading your descriptions makes them a lot more disturbing and boring too. But I do love Harold and the Purple Crayon. I think it’s because my girls gor the HBO series on DVD for Christmas one year, so we watched it before we ever read the book. They love it. My husband does think it’s a total snoozefest though.
Lisa commented on Oct 22 11 at 9:11 amI freaking hate Love You Forever! Not only is the story totally creepy, but what about those illustrations!?!? iiiiiiiiick! I have to defend Good Night Moon for a minute. I think the allure for kids (and myself as a child) is the illustrations. I was always amazed at how it looked dark in the room and the moon shined brightly. HOWEVER, if you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to read the follow-up, MY WORLD, then you know that pointless book could be added to this list of books to be banned.
Jenny Lin commented on Oct 22 11 at 9:27 amYou had me until Harold. That was my absolutely favorite book as a child and I still love it to this day. I used to cry with laughter reading it, at least when I got older, at the ways he could draw himself out of any situation. My kids loved the HBO series, which had a bit more color…
christine commented on Oct 22 11 at 10:09 ami don’t think the measure of a good book should be whether or not it could be made into a good movie. i think that these “boring” books that don’t make sense might help kids make up some kinds of connections on their own and use their imaginations. i understand how you might find them boring to read, though. my kid likes ‘goodnight moon’ and the scholastic ‘harold and the purple crayon’ dvds. i’m fine with ‘goodnight moon’ because it is short. books i absolutely cannot stand are ‘curious george’ books! i have to admit to whining no, i don’t want to read that! ‘curious george’ is so wordy and tedious. and people shouldn’t steal monkeys from the jungle or any other wild animals for that matter, and then neglect them once they bring them home, like that assclown in the yellow hat!
Sally commented on Oct 22 11 at 2:57 pmMy mother-in-law gave my husband I love you forever for his thirtieth birthday. I was embarrassed for him and her. I have two sons and I have always hated the book. Where is the mom’s husband by the way? The whole thing is way too Oedipal for me.
beccabee commented on Oct 22 11 at 8:10 pmOk I cried @ I’ll love you forever but I think it is because of the story of the person who gave it to me. I hate Goodnight Moon for different reasons. Why couldn’t they color each page? And its inconsistent-check the mittens and socks. And Go! Dog Go! Goes on forever! It has two nighttimes. Seriously? This is for little ones. SHORT please, not 68 pages! Forgetabout WhereThe Wild Things Are! Nightmare inducing story! My DH loves Harold, but he’s 6 years older and might be considered “from another era.” Thank you for letting
us vent!
May commented on Oct 22 11 at 9:19 pmYou are taking sweet innocent books and twisting them into sick ugly things. What is wrong with you?
Adrienne commented on Dec 04 11 at 2:18 amI admit it, I laughed when I read your take on “I Love You Forever”, but I may have to disagree with you on the others, especially Goodnight Moon. I love the simplicity of Goodnight Moon, the way the pictures correspond perfectly with the words (a basic target of emergent literacy in young children), and slow pace which eases children into bed. It’s an ideal nighttime story for toddlers and was my youngest son’s favorite book.
I also love the rhythm and flow of Madeleine and Harold’s creativity coupled with the brilliantly simple illustrations.
You know what gets “accidentally destroyed maliciously” at my house? Those darn Disney cartoon books. They are terrible!
Of course, they may be the ideal bedtime book for ME, because I cannot make it through one without fervently wishing for a nap!
S commented on Dec 05 11 at 11:49 pmUgh, “Love you Forever” – I heard about it on Friends and wanted to get it for my daughter. Good thing I spent 2 min reading it and found out that she dies in the end. What kind of a book is that for a child!!!
My daughter likes “Goodnight Moon”. Or more specifically, likes the cats in the book. She points to them and says in her best 19 month old voice – “Miyammm, miyammm!!!”
Missy commented on Dec 08 11 at 7:11 amHarold and the Purple Crayon? I LOVED that book growing up. It was beyond one of my favorites and is stuck in my brain forever. stfu
J commented on Dec 09 11 at 4:05 amsynical much? they are childrens books! i read them all as a child and had no problems with them nor did they scar me for life. good night moon is soothing and love you forever may seem creepy now when your an adult but when your a child and your snuggled up with your mom and you keep hearing her say that she loves you forever it makes you feel safe and loved and i think there is nothing wrong with that
Rebecca commented on Dec 15 11 at 6:10 pmYou had me until Harold. I spent endless hours reading this book at night and pretending to have my trusty purple crayon to write me out of a snag during daytime play.
I could not agree with you more on Love You Forever though. I heard about this book before I had children from… you guessed it- my husbands overbearing, psychotic, hoarding mother. So, when i had my son she was sooo eager to pass me down his copy she still had (who holds on to a creepy book for 30 years??) Luckily I had already checked it out and was able to politely say “Are you fucking crazy? That book is horrible! If it comes in my house it will just get thrown away, so why don’t you keep it since you get so emotionally attached to objects, and we will find some nice books that promote loving and caring in a healthy way!”
I’m just kidding, I didn’t say that, but I did tell her it would probably be better if she kept it.
Cindy commented on Dec 26 11 at 4:16 pmAs a parent, kudos for reading to you children. As a public librarian, I was appalled at your use of the word BANNED! To use such an ugly word regarding classic books broke my heart. I agree that Disney anything should be avoided at all costs, but Robert Munsch? Are you kidding? My son gave me “Love you Forever” when he turned 21, and told me he would always be there for me. I passed it back to my grandchildren, who love it for the song, not the silly things you read into the story.
tw commented on Jan 03 12 at 2:49 amRAINBOW FISH…WITH A PASSION (ban)
also couldn’t agree more with the bizzaro ‘Love You Forever’, and I’m sorry, I’m a very compassionate person, but finding out that Robert Munch wrote it for his wife after she had a stillborn child just makes that all the more creepy:
“here honey, I know that our own child was not born alive and will never be an infant, toddler, little boy, or grow to be a man with children of his own, but that’s ok because I wrote you a book about some other lady and all the unhealthy stalking-like behaviors that she teachers HER son to engage in”
that’s just wierd.
is there any irony in the fact that so many people want to add disney books to the fire on a site that is ‘supported by disney’. I find that amusing too.
But you DEFINITELY have to add RAINBOW FISH, which is not only about about dismembering your own body and getting rid of your own unique and best qualities so that you look the ‘same’ and equal as/to everyone else, it was also written by a socialist and carries a very socialistic message.
Tracy commented on Jan 03 12 at 9:51 pm@ BECCABEE OHHHHHHHH yes, Go Dog, Go! While I don’t think it should be banned, I HATE HATE that book. I’m not a big fan of Are you my Mother? either?
I’m thankful that my neglectful parenting hasn’t harmed my kids (I’m totally being factitious here). I have 4 excellent readers. I don’t read to my kids unless they bring me a book and ask. I abhor reading outloud. I love to read, though. There are no children’s books that make me jump up and down to read. I just don’t like it. I also taught 3 of my 4 to read (my oldest is 21 and I was 20 when he was born, it never occurred to me that I could teach him to read LOL)
I don’t even know how I ended up on this blog (clicked a link and another and another? LOL) but it’s great! thanks!
Jackie commented on Jan 26 12 at 11:56 amI’ll love you forever is one of my favorite books I read to my son. I’m just sorry I didn’t find it until he was almost 4. I still say the I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you will be. No, I’m not still rocking him. and I’m not stalking him. He is 20 and off to college. I have texted him that saying just to let him know I was thinking of him and that I love him. So, if that is wrong I don’t wanna be right.
jackie
Liz commented on Jan 28 12 at 5:40 amI found a book in the library once about Maisy Mouse and her dead grandmother… went along the lines of “maisy’s grandma died. Maisy’s grandma got put in a coffin. Mainsy’s grandma got put in the ground.” I was rather shocked when i read it.
One of my favourites (and the favourite of my mum’s class at school) is “The Mole who knew it was none of his business”
Casey commented on Mar 26 12 at 3:23 pmI like Harold and the Purple Crayon and so does my daughter. I’d have to agree about the others though. I’ll Love You Forever is the worst. It was at my grandmothers and the book was there so I picked it up and read it. All I could think was WTF! Am I the only one that doesn’t find this book odd and a little disturbing? My aunt and grandmother said it made them cry. It made me gag.
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