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• My son (6) is allowed to believe in Santa. When he asks me if Santa is “real” I tell him the “spirit of Santa” is real and then ask him what he thinks. I made the mistake of saying that Rudolf wasn’t real. He argued that Rudolf has to be real if Santa is. Grandma told him that Rudolf isn’t real, Santa is just delusional LOL

  The Tech eMom commented on Dec 14 11 at 11:22 am Reply
  

• The spirit of Christmas, of love, giving, and all that warm fuzzy stuff is great and I think you should share those ideas with your kids and Santa is a personification of those ideas so I do tell my kids about Santa. I wrap all of Santa’s gifts in different paper and disguise my handwritting on the to and from tags. I have lied so fantastically abut Santa that when my 9 year old son was told by my ex (his dad) that we are Santa, he is still not sure that his dad told him the truth. I never tried to convince him his dad was wrong eithier. My older two girls said it made them sad when they discovered it wasn’t real. The “magic” or lie or beautiful story only lasts so long and I fail to see the harm in it. I tell all my girls that they are princesses and spend my life trying to convince them that this is a fact!

  Crystal Smith commented on Dec 14 11 at 1:05 pm Reply
  

• For five and a half years, we’ve been a non-Santa house, explicitly and discreetly. This means that my two year-old knew not to say to her friends that Santa wasn’t coming to our house, or why, and that instead of blatantly busting out, “THERE IS NO SANTA” to her, there’s been many discussions about how Santa is like Dora. He’s not really real, but he goes on (one-night, annual) adventures that typically lead children to believe that friendship bracelets, talking maps or monkeys with red boots are all it takes to make world peace.

  Okay, I’m sleep deprived, so to be more concise: Santa is a character, that represents a feeling. One that makes people all over want to be nicer to people, and charitable, and to be with their loved ones, and to stop tweeting and drink more.

  Until this year, it was only an issue for two minor reasons: informing childcare givers and school staff that ‘we do not do Santa’ garnered looks akin to an admission of punishment by acid peel; and her father, when he was feeling particularly feisty, would accuse me of ruining her childhood.

  (In my mind, it’s lying, yes, but it’s also a bigger issue, because I see Santa — bringing presents only if you’re good — often used as a tool to get whiners to stop pouting and to go to sleep. I intentionally avoiding being a mother with a do-this-get-that or threatening M.O. Even if it would make things SO. Much. Easier.) (Not that I’m saying anyone else here does.)

  This year, my ex has gone off the deep end and is basically messing with my kid’s head, so not only does Santa EXIST, but I’ve been lying for years about it, and hey, he’s even already visited her Grandmother’s house. This is apparently because she was deemed extra good, for learning to read.

  So yeah, me right now? Anti-Santa.

  Zoeyjane commented on Dec 14 11 at 2:41 pm Reply
  

• My parents told me how babies were born and also that an old man with a beard delivered toys down every small chimney chute across the world.

  Neither made much sense, but parents = all knowing in my book at that time and I had seen pictures of my father delivering babies, so I prettttttty much accepted it. It took the moms a whole lot longer to fit babies out of their vaginas than it took a big fat man to get down a tiny tube, so the rationale worked itself out.

  After a while, logic (plus a lot of reading about other cultures, etc) sissuaded my belief in Santa.

  I still believe in the tooth fairy, though. I don’t know HOW the hell my mom got under my pillow.

  K8 commented on Dec 14 11 at 3:52 pm Reply
  

• …don’t believe in God or Santa Claus….just a way to keep you buying toys and God keeps you from coveting the neighbor’s wife ,,,,because I’m sure you didn’t know that’s a no-no…….but for some reason I do believe in UFOs and ghosts…
  ..

  Virginia Ruiz commented on Dec 14 11 at 9:08 pm Reply
  

• ok if you remove santa from christmas then you must remove the tooth fairy, leperchauns from St. Patricks ( don’t forget that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow), Easter bunny, Cupid from valentines day, fairies, dn’t for get if you are elimnating sants their go his elves too and roudoplh poor kids DO you allow your children tothink cartoons are real people when you take them to Disney world??? That woudl be lying too! OR that the pretty lady playing Cinderella “IS” Cinderella? Toy Stgory leads you to believethat your toys come to life whne you are not around you gonna break their hearts over that too?

  Yvone Scott Partin commented on Dec 14 11 at 9:29 pm Reply
  

• I remember when my mom told me Santa wasn’t real. I felt betrayed. I felt dumb for being fooled. I’m going to have a baby this month, so I will have to decide what I will do.

  Michelle commented on Dec 14 11 at 10:28 pm Reply
  

• I like crystal smiths approach! The kids still enjoy the idea with out the lie. I’m digging it!!

  Michelle commented on Dec 14 11 at 10:33 pm Reply
  

• I think I just peed a little reading Jenny’s “I wouldn’t sit on a mall santa’s lap unless I put toilet paper down first.” Can’t you just picture that? Like the portable hand sanitizer on the kids’ backpacks, but a pocket-pack of toilet seat covers instead. “Excuse me while I just put this down first, Mr. Claus.”

  Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure all the alcohol those mall Santas consume to get ready for work kills all the germs/chlamydia (at least that’s what my college boyfriends told me.) DOH!

  Iris Beard commented on Dec 14 11 at 10:46 pm Reply
  

• What lie? Santa is real. Period. He could be a zombie. It’s possible. What’s definite is Santa and the Missus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Elvis will spend January in a Florida trailer park, drinking strawberry daiquiris (maybe playing a bit of Bingo) and talking about dirty chimneys, annoying dogs, homemade cookies versus store-bought, cheesy impersonators and kids who use the string-attached-to-the-doorknob approach.
  They’ll laugh, scratch their bellies and get excited about the fun to come. It’s magic.

  Pam Dillon @writewrds commented on Dec 15 11 at 10:28 am Reply
  

• Well what does santa have to do with Happy Birthday Jesus Christ? thats the question most kids will eventually ask

  Hair Gospel commented on Dec 15 11 at 3:51 pm Reply
  

• I enjoyed the the discussion.
  Now, for my take. I never understood why in one breath a parents will say, “Don’t let me catch you lying.” Then in the next breath, “Johnny sit on Santa’s lap. If you’re a good boy all year he’ll bring you all the presnets you and ask for.” Bull droppings. Why is it okay to lie to a child and manipulate him into being good? It is not okay. I couldn’t tell the lie to mykids. I knew their classmates believed it and I wanted them to fit in. So I just said he was the ‘spirit of loving and giving’. Others crammed the lie into their brains. TV commercials and the neighbors etc.
  Here is another thing. I grew up Christain, but I could never figure out how Jesus and that fat man were related? If it were Christ’s birthday, why do other people get presents? Why do the kids with all the nice things and aren’t so nice, get more for Christmas than I do? It all just didn’t seem right to me as a child. As a grandmother I still don’t get the reason for the inconsistent lie.

  Malika Bourne commented on Dec 16 11 at 9:05 pm Reply
  

• At our house, Santa is responsible for the stockings. And one present under the tree. Other than that, if it’s under the tree, it’s from Mom and Dad, or some other real person. That helps us explain why we buy presents for Toys for Tots and kids whose names are on the “Giving Tree” at our local mall. That way, Santa is alive in our house, but we can teach our child about giving to others as well.

  Heather commented on Dec 18 11 at 10:30 pm Reply
  

• My sister and I both believed until upper elementary school. I remember finding out when I was about 9 or 10. From classmates of course. But I never really felt “crushed” about it. I knew I’d still get presents and we’d still have a Christmas tree and we’d still have a nice family dinner.
  My parents were always BIG on Christmas. When I say “BIG” I MEAN BIG! Every year, the day after Thanksgiving, my mom would break out the 7 huge rubbermaid tubs filled to the brim with ornaments, garland, ribbons, Christmas-y knicknacks such as little wooden letters that spelled out Santa (she still does this, and my sister and I will re-arrange the letters to spell out “satan” every chance we get…just to see how long it takes to notice. She wasn’t pleased this year when my 12 year old cousin from a devout Christian family found it. But I digress.) and dozens of ceramic angels, snowmen, nativity scenes, etc. As well as a Christmas tree. And of course they decorate the OUTSIDE of the house as well (inflatable snowman, the moving light-up reindeer, even 3 mini-christmas trees)! Yes, every year (even after we stopped believing what feels like forever ago) it looks like Good Ol’ Saint Nick paid a visit to our house in late November and vomited Christmas Cheer everywhere (scented like Christmas trees and warm sugar cookies of course!)
  Recently, I got married. My husband and I are alike in countless ways, but one of our really big differences is that Eddie never had Christmas (or birthdays, or Thanksgiving or anything else for that matter). His family isn’t religious (not that mine is or anything, but there are still about 3 nativity scenes in the house….I think my mom just gets credit card happy when she goes shopping for decorations….) and his family never told him about Santa Claus. When I found out about this, it really shocked me! I know it’s a stupid thing to be shocked about but really, you NEVER believed in Santa Claus?!?! He told me his parents would sometimes give him and his brothers a gift on Christmas day when they were kids, but it was never a huge deal. Or sometimes they’d cook a slightly more elaborate dinner. Essentially, when it comes to holidays and birthdays and etc, we grew up in totally different worlds.
  We’re currently expecting our first child (she’ll be here this February) and with the holidays all around us, we’ve begun discussing how we’ll raise her as far as Christmas goes. In my heart, I kind of want her to experience the same belief in magic that I had as a child. The excitement of knowing Santa would be here soon! And it’s become a tradition with my family that on Christmas Eve all my younger cousins go to my parents house to watch Uncle Jay pull up the Santa GPS Tracking System on his computer so they know exactly where Santa is and what time to expect him in the area. I want Ava to be able to experience that!
  Eddie’s take on all of this? Santa is a lie. And when she DOES find out he’s not real, she’ll realize we (the people she trusts most in the world) lied to her. He’s all for decorating and giving her gifts and spending time with family, but he doesn’t want to lie about where the gifts came from. He wants her to know the gifts came from US and not some fat old man in a red suit with a history of B&Es. I get this…but I still cling to my childhood and how knowing Santa was coming made me feel.
  So will we tell Ava about Santa? I’m not sure…
  And if we don’t what about when she goes to school and learns about him? Will she feel left out like Santa goes to the other kids houses but not her own? Will we tell her that Santa is a story but other kids believe he’s real so parents write “from Santa” on their presents? Will she be one of those “thugs” to break the news to her classmates? I don’t want that. I don’t want her to tell other kids that their parent’s are lying to them. But at the same time…I don’t want to lie to her either.
  One of my first “difficult” decisions as a parent: Will we tell our daughter about Santa Claus….
  I hear it only gets more difficult from here…

  Cec commented on Dec 19 11 at 7:36 am Reply
  

• I love Santa and I love the myth, and the real origin story (i.e. St. Nicholas). We are Catholic in my house, so we believe all kinds of fantastical things.

  I never use “Santa is watching” as a threat though. That just rubs me wrong. That’s why I don’t have the Elf of the Shelf. I don’t believe in using Santa to make my children behave. I don’t even use God to make my children behave. I am trying to teach ethical behavior and doing the right thing as virtues in themselves, not because they won’t give gifts or go to Hell.

  However, I have had to spin a couple fantastical (non-Biblical) tales over the past couple of weeks to perputuate the Santa myth, so I am just about to put Santa to bed in my household. Kinda. it will suck for the 1-year-old, so… maybe not. Sigh.

  redpenmamapgh commented on Dec 19 11 at 1:25 pm Reply
  

  • Yeah “Santa Claus is coming to town” is the worst Christmas song of all time. “Be good for goodness’ sake”?! How about “Be good to get Santa to give you what you want – be good for greediness’ sake”. Ugh.

    Della commented on Dec 19 11 at 2:04 pm
    

• To add: what Heather said is exactly what happens in my house too.

  I’ve never taken my children to a mall Santa, and I’ve no plans to.

  The discussion by the Babble folks has me laughing at my desk. Awesome, and thanks for that.

  redpenmamapgh commented on Dec 19 11 at 1:29 pm Reply
  

• I am on the fence. I don’t want to have to explain the lie, but they’re still little enough right now that the line between reality and fantasy is blurry (age almost-4 and 2), and it’s exciting to think of giving a little bit of magic. Still, I want to get credit for those gifts, and I just don’t think there’s enough value in the “magic” that balances trying to explain that we lied.
  So for now, we talk about Santa putting presents in their stockings, but like ZoeyJane above, once they’re just that little bit older that they could even UNDERSTAND the difference between the story of a real person and of a pretend character, we’ll make sure they know the distinction. I have a feeling we’re going to have a harder time with some of their TV friends (Handy Manny ISN’T REAL, MOMMY?!!!!!!) than with Santa.
  I also don’t want my kids to get the gimmes, and one of the ways I can do that is to illustrate the value of things. If my kids believe that Santa has a magical toy factory and stuff appears for free, well, why not ask for – and expect – everything? If they realize that Mommy and Daddy are buying those items, it makes more sense that they might not get everything they ever wish for.

  Finally, I am not militant about the Santa thing, but I *am* a little scroogy about people trying to foist that greediness on my kids. We were at a restaurant and the nice busboy stopped to talk to my kids, asking what Santa was going to bring them. When my kids each stated that they had asked for a candy cane (not caneS, notice), the guy boggled at them, and said “That’s it? You aren’t going to ask for a bike or [3 or 4 other major things]?”, after which of course the almost-4-year-old went “oh yeah! I would like to have a bike!” It never occurred to him to ask for anything more than what he might walk up to me and ask for (ie one candy cane, *a* train car, etc). I wanted to slug that busybody… er, busboy.

  Della commented on Dec 19 11 at 2:02 pm Reply
  

• Santa is a lie? Give your head a shake, Santa is more real than the sweet baby jeebus.

  The spirit of the holidays is anonymous charity, expecting nothing in return. Jolly old dude in the red suit is what that is all about.

  In the name of the Elf on the Shelf, my son and I have given toys to kids, adopted 2 seniors and rang bells for the Sally Ann in the mall.

  That’s the kind of lying I can get behind.

  http://www.dad-camp.com/2011/12/do-you-believe-in-santa-bieber-says-youre-a-liar/

  Buzz Bishop commented on Dec 19 11 at 2:24 pm Reply
  

• We tell our kids that Santa is real not in flesh but in spirit. Santa in our house is more of a thing then a person. It’s not about a puffy man in a red suit it’s about giving and not expecting anything in return. We tel them that Santa is real and he lives in the heart of EVERYONE. In our house Santa is a symbol.. a symbol of hope that there is still good in the world… that people do take time (even if only once a year) to care about some one other then themselves… And really what part of that is a lie??? I’ve told my kids the story of the original Santa or should I say Bishop Nichols… (just google “The True Story of Santa)… So I say YES Santa is real!!! And the next time you think of doubting him think of all good that people do and ask of nothing in return..

  Kristin B. commented on Dec 19 11 at 9:22 pm Reply
  

• Wow. And I thought I was so creative writing in my blog about how I lie to my children once a year. Ok. a few times a year —we also have the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and now we’ve introduced the Halloween Fairy who takes candy and gives books. Hey – I am creative! (ok my neighbor came up with the HF). Anyway, what this all led me to was thinking about the big questions, the ones I ask every day — what, precisely, do I want to be for my kids? What do I want to give them? Not in the x-box, playstation kind of way – but in the big pyscho-drama of life kind of way. Total honesty? Total dependability? These two things are actually mutually exclusive – because if I want to be totally honest – I will never be totally dependable. Try as I might, I don’t have that kind of control. And to be honest (because I do try), I think my imperfections, my frequent failures at navigating the complexity of day-to-day living, also function as a kind of gift to them. If I can fail, and survive, so can they. Ok. Enough rambles… back to work.
  @notwh0
  http://wp.me/p1R9SP-36

  notwh0 commented on Dec 21 11 at 1:10 pm Reply
  

• In spite of what some people seem to think, Santa has WAY more to do with Christmas than Jesus!
  The more-or-less historical St Nicholas has his feast day in early December. That’s pretty close. Some of the Santa story is also lifted from Odin, who would disguise himself as an old man and walk among the people at this time of year with blessings and whatnot. Old One-eye was also a sun god, and just about every sun god in history has his birthday at the winter solstice.
  What does Jesus have to do with Christmas? Nothing. There’s nothing in the bible connecting his birthdate to December, January, the solstice, winter, snow, evergreen trees. Not one word. The date was set by Emporer Constantine and the bishops at the council of Nicea to help convert the heathens who insisted on celebrating their various solstice festivals at that time

  Also, shepherds wouldn’t keep their flocks out at night at that time of year. And the Romans wouldn’t have a census right on the heels of Saturnalia, that would be ignorant. And for that matter, there’s no literature contemporary to the bible that supports the existence of Jesus or any of the events around his life. Even the gospels were written a generation after the fact.

  To sum up, there’s more independent eye-witness evidence for St Nicholas than there is for Jesus, and Christmas is more closely connected to Santa than to Jesus.

  Kevinsky commented on Dec 21 11 at 3:15 pm Reply
  

• When my 6-year-old asked if Santa was real, I told him the same thing I told him when he asked if a god is real; it’s up to you to work that out for yourself. My son already understands the concept of burden of proof, and that the default position should be to dismiss any assertion that lacks evidence until the person making the assertion provides evidence. Having taught him that necessary fact of life, it makes it almost impossible to convince him that Santa Claus exists even if I wanted to (which I don’t).

  Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff commented on Dec 23 11 at 4:52 am Reply
  

• I would love nothing more than for my kid to stop believing in Santa for the sole reason that it would make my Ex Mother in Law unhappy and those are the moments I personally live for. Shabbat Shalom everyone.

  jessica bern commented on Dec 29 11 at 12:45 pm Reply
  

• I think that people who take the magical beliefs away from their children are very selfish! I love seeing a childs eyes filled with excitement and that wonderous smile they all get when they are talking about Santa…… As long as you teach your child the true meaning of this wonderful time of year and remind them of it throughout the whole year your children will be fine!!! And to whom ever posted you can catch clamydia from sitting on Santa’s lap is ignorant! I realy dont think its ntransmitted through clothes!!!!!! Let our children be kids they have to grow up to fast now a days….

  Paula Moree commented on Jan 01 12 at 3:11 am Reply
  

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