Dear Producers for the New Anderson Cooper Daytime Show
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Dear producers and bookers for the new Maury Povich Jerry Springer Anderson Cooper daytime talk show,
Congrats on the launch of your new show! Anderson is soooo cute, and I must say, I absolutely love his mom’s jeans!
Of course, now that I’ve given birth five times, I’m not really able to squeeze into my Glorias at the moment (although I am faithfully working out with my Jane Fonda videotape, so I will be back in those baby blues SOON). But even though I’m not the skinny minny I was before becoming a mom – a WORKING MOM even – my brain still works just fine, thankyouverymuch. And because I’m such an Anderson Cooper fan, which I think I already mentioned, I have been flexing my mind muscles a bit on your behalf, and I’ve come up with some thoughts for how next time you do an episode of your show where you pit working moms vs. stay at home moms (and you know you WILL do another one – LOL!), you can do an even better job with this uber-hot topic.
So here goes! I hope you find my ideas helpful.
First of all, I totally get why you chose “Mommywars” as a show topic last week. I really do. I’m guessing that Anderson picked the topic himself, because, you know, he’s a badass war correspondent and all. Makes perfect sense. Plus, it’s SO TIMELY AND FRESH! If I were launching a brand new daytime talk show, I’d absolutely go for a mommywars episode right out of the gate. In fact, I’d sandwich it between my show with the exclusive one on one where Anderson interviews Anita Hill’s best friend from law school, and the episode where I’d get the authors of that HIGH-larious new book everyone’s talking about, you know, what’s it called? Oh yeah – “The Yuppie Handbook.”
So I do, I really do get why you would want to hit this topic hard, but to be frank – and I hope you will take my ideas in the spirit of goodwill in which they’re intended – I really think you could do MORE with the whole show concept than you did.
If it’s ratings y’all want (and I know it is, because how else are you going to pull down that new high dollar Enjoli campaign that’s getting all the buzz on Madison Avenue right now?), instead of having the women you bring on as guests simply “debate” one another (booooooring!), why not just cut to the chase and sit all of them in a circle on set, and then hook each of them up to all the rest with electric wires and buzzers, and then let them have at it!
Like this!
I can see it now…
SAHM: “You working moms are just selfish, bra burning lesbians who hate America! ZZZZAAAAAPPPPP!!!!”
WOHM: “You stay at home moms are just lazy beeyotches! ZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!!”
PURE.
RATINGS.
GOLD.
However, if for whatever reason, that particular mommywars show set-up doesn’t appeal to you, I have two words for your consideration: ROLLER DERBY.
People LOVE women on roller skates fighting each other, battling for supremacy as they power around the rink. So I say, you do your next mommywars episode like this: you turn the set into a roller rink, with your studio audience cheering the girl on girl competition. You have one team of working moms, and their uniform is sort of a play on the whole power suit thing, only adapted for TV. I’m thinking pink satin hot pants with those foulard floppy ties that are so big right now. And then the other team would be made up of stay at home moms, and their team get-up could be sort of all apron-ey – like if angry French maids on roller skates were headed out to the Harper Valley PTA meeting. And then you give the working mom team briefcases and the stay at home moms brooms, and you let them just beat the HELL out of each other while AC stands ringside and emcees.
Seriously, y’all, if you take a concept that’s already red hot – ROLLER DERBY – and you add in this incredibly relevant social issue that Anderson wants to tackle head on, because that’s just the kind of in your face journalist he is, and you mix it all together, what do you get?
You get a DAYTIME EMMY!!! That’s what you get.
I do have some other ideas that I think you may want to hear, but I feel like I’ve gone on long enough for the moment. Feel free to get in touch with me if I can help you hash out how exactly these concepts I’ve offered up could work for your next mommywars episode. I’m totally here for y’all.
Until then, you ROCK ON Mr. Anderson Cooper and production team! Keep up the great work. You really have your finger on the pulse, and your insightful, substantive coverage of today’s most meaningful social and political issues for your target demographic – MOMS LIKE ME – is definitely going to pay off!
Sincerely, your pal,
Katie
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Hilarious! There are probably many reasons why this debate persists, but as to why women still get so caught up in it: I think both options require a large sacrifice. Work-out-of-the-home moms give up precious time with their kids. Stay-at-home-moms give up a professional identity and often money that could add to the family’s security. If you are making a big sacrifice one way or the other, you must feel convinced that you’re doing the right thing — but it’s easy to have doubts. How best to shout down the doubts? Become very loud about the fact that your choice is the BEST one, and get very angry/defensive at any suggestion otherwise.
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By the way, that Simpsons sketch is based on the Milgram experiment that actually took place at Yale. My husband went to Yale with Anderson Cooper.
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Why: girls are mean. Some of us only validate by putting down another. Tsk, tsk.
Andersoon Cooper, you might be perfectly coiffed, but (quoting the old race car from Lightning McQueen) “yer stupid”.
Great post, KAG!
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Better questions are:
1) Who gives a damn what’s on daytime TV?
2) Why is anyone watching daytime TV? Don’t you have something better to do?
3) Why do people still have TVs? (Well, sure, you can use it to watch DVDs). -
I actually have a warm and soft spot in my heart for Anderson Cooper (Channel One! He’s a Vanderbilt! That silver hair! That smirk!
It’s television, you know? Extremism gets ratings. My husband is a DP and he’s usually first witness to how stuff gets distorted and blown up. Everything, from the most divine documentary on HBO to the most tabloid of talk shows, should be taken with a huge grain of salt.
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What’s a DP besides a Displaced Person? Honestly don’t know.
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Basically, if you’re a woman or girl, no matter what you do, look like, say, etc. people are going to put you down, try to make you feel bad about yourself so you’ll buy their products, try to do a divide-and-conquer on you to keep you from working together with other women for equal rights and important social services, etc. People that put that kind of divide-and conquer crap on the air should definitely be called on their BS.
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Katie, Great retort. Bet they said the same thing in little Willy Shakespeare’s day, too. All this SAHM vs WOHM stuff reminds me of how the Europeans took advantage of pre-Columbian Native American tribal antagonisms to divide and conquer. Better to organize around what we have in common than allowing the powers that be to divide and distract us from the real issues — living wages, decent benefits, quality childcare and education.
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Oh my god that was funny. Brilliant.
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@ JZZY55, a DP is a Director of Photography.
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Very funny. But seriously lets stop judging each other and not assume things. We all have a very important job to care for our kids and be loving parents. Good luck to everyone being a mom/parent period.
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Don’t mock the roller derby! You clearly have not been keeping up with recent movies LOL. Stream Whip It onto your Netflix, lady.
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Hey now, I ***love*** ROLLERDERBY! Why the heck d’you think I’m recommending that Anderson Cooper offer more of it to viewers?!
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Well, if it is a daytime show, surely it’s not aimed at the WOHM crowd. My work does not allow me to have a TV and watch it during the day, does yours? As Clisby said, if you are sitting around watching crap on daytime TV, whatever your home/work/childcare situation is, then well, you deserve the asinine content.
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Who’s watching this anyway except for lazy stay at home moms? ;-p Seriously, this was hysterical. And it’s time we stopped letting the “media” dictate what the issues are. It’s all about ratings and most people’s real lives bear little resemblance to anything that is on t.v.
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Well, that’s kind of nasty. What’s wrong with a mom or dad or other caregiver sitting down and watching a bit of daytime tv while folding mounds of laundry while the kids are at school? Should we always have Goethe on cd playing in the background or be making lye soap or something?
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Funny!! And I always watch TV when I fold laundry.
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That was so funny I just blew my morning coffee out my nose.
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Chrissy: That’s why Satan made DVDs.
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Clibsy: But Jesus told me to watch the Kardashians!
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Wow, what a waste of an opportunity to actually have a thoughtful, intellectual discussion. Instead we get accusations of “insecurity” (strangely pointed only at the SAMS) we get a column full of half-funny jokes, and lukewarm conviction (I *want* to believe I am doing it right). Well, here’s the thing: Some of us do firmly believe we *are* doing it right. “It” being staying home with pre-K children and minimizing the time their care is outsourced. Some of us do this while also having fulfilling jobs, interests, etc., albeit downscaled work responsibilities and spending to make it happen. We understand that some really just can’t do it because of financial reasons and we feel sorry for them. We roll our eyes a bit at those who simply *won’t* and say, gee, it would be SO HARD to be with a baby/small child all day. Yep. It *is* sometimes hard, but you’re a mother. If you don’t want to take an active role, or there are other things you choose as more important, why bother? I’m not going to get into “Mommy Wars” because that implies that this is a frivolous conversation and it’s about cattiness or making people feel bad. It’s not. It’s about what is developmentally ideal for babies and children—just like the breastfeeding argument. Breast is best, formula is inferior and I’m not going to coddle grown women. More emphasis needs to go into frank talks about what they hell we’re doing re raising our kids and not worrying about hurting someone’s feelings.
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Anyway, I didn’t mean to comment specifically on this piece of the conversation. The 151 comment count makes it look like all comments are in one place. I was commenting on the “salon” discussion as a whole. The format of this thing is really clunky.
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Um, the part where I sorta … got caught up was that your mom was up hours pierarpng meals in the morning befoer school! I am going to have to sit with this information a bit. I can barely pour soup from a can to feed my kids after a 10 work day (plus commute). It’s like you just turned my world upside down. =) And the pesto sounds yummy, too!
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The thing is, not everything in this world is “just an opinion.” I do believe that if people were to look at the science on infant and child development honestly, the truth would be clear. However, it’s a “taboo” subject because we’re not supposed to “make people feel bad” about their choices.
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And since I really don’t want to get into it with people who have their minds made up and refuse to even consider that outsourcing the care of infants and young toddlers is an inferior choice, I just roll my eyes, to myself. Daycare is one of the “holy grails” of contemporary feminism and we all have to “play nice” and not offend anyone. So be it, but there’s alot of self-delusion going on there.
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Sure, Liz, family income, education, etc. matter most, but all things being equal (ie, mom not a drug user, suffering from severe mental issues, etc.), the kid’s gonna do better at home with a parent as an infant and young toddler. If you’re going to try and tell me it’s good or even normal to put an infant under 1 yo in the care of someone other than a parent (preferably a mother) you’re just delusional and reading the data the way you want to. There are all sorts of different subtleties to dig into at that NIH link. Many times they compare children who would be in poor, stressed, single parent homes with kids from that same demographic who are put in high-quality, university-based centers and, naturally, they do better. But, for middle-class, college-educated parents (or the equivalent intellectually—I am not classist and don’t think that income or education level doom people to poor parenting) home with a parent most of the day vs all day in daycare, the home setting is more in line with the developmental needs of a 0-3 year old. Reach Amitai Etzioni, Penelope Leach, read Ships Without a Shore (Anne E. Pierce) and there are numerous citations of studies indicating that outsourcing care of 0-3 may be benign to mildly detrimental, but it’s not the best choice.
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I’ll make just one more comment, I don’t think I was the one who invoked the concept of “truth” as in, my truth vs your truth. That’s more like “we choose what’s best for our lives” and I can buy that. If a woman chooses to put her young child in daycare, she’s making a choice that something is more important than her kid’s optimum development. That’s her choice to make and she should own it. Not EVERYTHING has to be “optimum,” things can be “good enough.” Just don’t try to tell me it’s equal, just like breastmilk and formula are not equal. Formula may be “good enough” and lots of babies survive on it, just like daycare for infants can often be “good enough” and the kids survive. No battle, no war, just honesty about children’s development.
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Gretchen, I don’t like to get into the mommy wars much. But given your comments I kind of have to share that my mother believed what you do. Sadly she was suffering from narcissistic personality disorder and her continued insistence on the absolute rightness of her opinions and inability to consider the feelings and points of view of others (as well as research and reality) resulted in terrible binds for my sib and I. We had to prove that her time was not wasted; I ended up in years of therapy and my sister went through an addiction and two abusive relationships. Not all SAHM situations are equal.
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@JENNG, I’d like to hear more, specifically, on your impressions or explanation of what I believe. I am guessing you might be mistaken about “what I believe.” I think I even said that if a mother is suffering from a mental disorder her kids would be better off being cared for by a caregiver who is not suffering from a mental disorder (that seems obvious). And I do realize my error now that I *did* say “the truth” would be clear, a few posts back. I concede that we all have different “truths” if “truth” is to mean different ways we choose to look at the world to form our choices, but to act like all choices are equally good and valuable isn’t really honest. If your mom was truly comfortable, happy and really believed in what she was doing, she actually would not need validation of her choices and certainly not from her children. For me, my choice to be the primary caregiver to my kid during it’s 0-3 years is as much for myself as for her, it’s been a tremendous period of personal growth and reflection, a chance to look at the world through a different lens that those same years grinding away in an office as I usually would have done would never have provided.
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Pure. Comedy. Gold.
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