I might get a pass if I provide snacks

I knew this day was coming, but somehow I hoped against hope that I’d miss the phase of parenting where I officially became the stupidest mother in America. Sadly, I was wrong.

My husband, who has two daughters from his first marriage, said I should buckle up as our daughter entered the ‘tween years. But up until her most recent birthday, we were sailing along smoothly. Not perfect, of course — no one’s relationship with their children is. But things were pretty good until she turned 12.

Now, of course, I still know that I have the most wonderful daughter on the face the earth (followed VERY closely by my two stepdaughters), but the trying moments of parenthood are becoming more frequent and bigger in scale, thanks to hormones, the influence of classmates and yearning teen anthems from Avril Lavigne and Taylor Swift.

All parents go through this phase. So how do I know I’m THE stupidest mom in America?

I like our family's traditions, thank you very much

When I hear about efforts like those of a group called “One Million Moms” trying to take down a business and a celebrity because they want to “protect” their children from “non-traditional” families, the first thing I think is, “Isn’t life hard enough without hating families that don’t look like yours?”

One Million Moms, part of the conservative group The American Family Association, is a group of self-proclaimed “Christian moms” tasked with the mission of purportedly standing up for children and families.  OMM’s latest effort is to ask women across America to call their local JCPenney store manager and ask them “to replace Ellen DeGeneres as their new spokesperson immediately to remain neutral in the culture war.”

The good news is this — that effort has fallen flat on its face.  OMM isn’t neutral and by calling on JCPenney to find a spokesperson more acceptable to OMM (read: straight, not gay) is hardly remaining neutral in any war.  So I was excited to see that a couple of people I know pretty well from Babble Voices, Tracey Gaughran-Perez and Doug French, call for a nationwide Shop In to show support for JCPenney’s decision not to cave in to the anti-gay sentiment of the OMM effort.

Image via Joanne Bamberger/All Rights Reserved

Politicians know they need women to win elections.  We vote more than men.  And since the majority of women become mothers by the time they’re in their forties, that means politicians need moms.

Now, you’d think in light of that, they’d pay a little more attention to us in the political down times.  As our husbands know, wooing is a very important part of any good relationship!  But even with the wooing, I’d like to see them stop with the name calling.  No, it’s never really been anything bad, but candidates often feel the need to put labels on mothers who vote.  As we head into the pre-Super Tuesday part of the 2012 presidential campaign, what kind of mother do you think you are when it comes to the issues?  Do any of these labels fit?

I know I usually write about the crazy world of politics or how our culture tends to dismiss the fact that women do still have working brains after they become mothers.  But my world has become a little overwhelmed lately by something else — a ‘tween daughter.

I knew the day would come when my once sweet child would roll her eyes at everything I said and that at school pick-up she would either pretend she didn’t know me or act like I was just the driver.  I was prepared for that.

But I wasn’t prepared for my slip of a sixth-grader — she is in the 30th percentile for height and 25 percentile for weight as of her 12-year checkup — to be plagued by thoughts of whether parts of her body are fat.

Image via andersoncooper.com

Anderson, Anderson, Anderson.  Why, oh WHY, are you doing this to me?

I’ve always thought you were a top-notch journalist, not afraid to charge into the dangerous war zones or natural disaster areas to bring us the news, a true sign of a seriously committed journalist.  Not to mention that fine, form-fitting black tee-shirt you take with you.

But now I’m thinking that I might have to take back all the good thoughts I’ve had about your way with a news story in light of a topic you’ve chosen for your daytime show.

While the title of the episode on your home page is “Who is Happier: Stay-at-Home Moms or Moms Who Work Outside the Home,” one little click tells me all I need to know about what this hour of daytime TV is really going to be about — “Are Stay-at-Home Moms Lazy?”

Yup, that's my little PunditBaby. Image via Joanne Bamberger/All rights reserved

As someone who’s followed politics and elections as long as I have, pretty much nothing surprises me anymore.  Attack ads, funny commercials, “oops” moments.  They’re all to be expected.  But I thought that using candidates’ children as targets of attack was pretty much off limits, especially after the 2000 presidential campaign when supporters of George W. Bush engaged in “push polling” to suggesting that John McCain’s daughter, Bridget, who was adopted from Bangladesh, was actually an African-American child he had fathered out of wedlock.

I wish I were making that up, but I’m not.  McCain was in the lead at the time, but after those efforts his campaign was pretty much over.  Jon Huntsman doesn’t want that to happen to his run for the White House.

Mother & Child, Sistene Chapel

It’s that time of year when lists are all the rage — who was the best, the worst, the most controversial?

Year-end lists always make for good discussion starters, whether we agree with them or not.  Of course, there are some good lists right here at Babble, but often women in general, and mothers in particular, are overlooked unless women are the ones compiling them. Lists are a way of measuring certain accomplishments and influence.

So this list-mania got me thinking that maybe we needed just one more  — a list about which moms we were talking about most in 2011.  Which mothers gave us the juiciest material for outrage or the meatiest food for thought?  Of course, there are plenty and it was hard to narrow it down to five, but here are my nominations for Most Talked About Moms in 2011!

Who would you add to the list?

As we’ve gone through the rotation of the 2012 Republican presidential candidates each having their “flavor of the week” moment, many observers said it would never happen for Libertarian leaning Ron Paul.

Guess what?  They were wrong.

New polls have him in the lead as the Iowa Republican Caucus looms large with its post-holiday January 3 date.  One recent Iowa University poll shows him ahead of Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney, and at least one group in particular really loves him — home-schooling parents.

That’s right, home-schooling parents in Iowa are big fans of Congressman Ron “I say what I mean and I mean what I say” Paul because if he’s elected president, Paul has promised to shutter the Department of Education and provide increased tax credits for home-schooling families.

Now, I’m not a home-schooling parent. I don’t have anything against it — I just know that I don’t have the temperament to be my sixth-grader’s teacher, as well as her mom.  And I’m pretty sure my 12-year-old is on the same page with me there.  But increasing numbers of parents are finding that they want to be more in charge of their children’s school experience and how they’re taught certain topics.  And that’s a political marriage made in heaven for a Republican like Ron Paul.

As the mom of a ‘tween, I’ve had to come to grips in the last year with having “the talk” — or at least age appropriate parts of  “the talk” — with our daughter that were necessary as a result of the reproductive system unit in science class.   Fortunately for us, she thinks that whole idea of how babies get made is gross and disgusting and as far as I’m concerned, I hope she feels that way until she’s 35!

Interestingly, though, a few candidates for president are using some of the issues surrounding the nascent sexual awareness of pre-teens, and the health issues that go along with that, to win voter support and that’s got me a little irritated.  You see, I thought it was my job as a parent to worry about the birds and the bees and everything that follows, and that it was their job to tell us how they’re going to fix the economy, get us out of Afghanistan and do something about $4 a gallon gas.

Image via ricksantorum.com

What’s the difference between being a political mom and a political dad?  Ask Sarah Palin and Rick Santorum.

When Sarah Palin ran for vice president in 2008, she drew fire for more than just her views on the economy and reproductive rights.  At the time John McCain chose her to be his running mate, her son Trig, who was born with Down Syndrome, was only a few months old.  She faced severe criticism from all sides about whether she was being a neglectful mother by taking on the 24/7 commitments of a national campaign, which included the possibility of becoming the first woman vice president of the United States.

Mommy Wars 2.0 went political in a big way.

I’ve never been a fan of Palin’s politics.  But when people started suggesting that mothers of young children, especially those with special needs, had no business being in a job as demanding or as a high profile as the vice presidency, it ticked me off because those questions are really just part of the age old stereotype that the job of care-giving belongs only to women.

Fast forward a few years to the current campaign season where one GOP presidential contender also has a young special needs child.  This time that candidate is a dad.  The public response to Rick Santorum, the father of a special needs daughter, and his decision to run for president has been a whole heck of a lot different from the one Palin received.