Hello and Goodbye…

Band on the diaper run is leaving Babble.  I’m going to continue writing my blog on Matesofstate.com.  I’m not sure I’ll keep the name “band on the diaper run” since technically, we said goodbye to diapers a couple years ago.  Our kids are older now.  That’s not to say we won’t have tour adventures to share.  That’s also not to say I won’t need advice from people who can relate..sometimes that’s the reason I write.  Sometimes there will be posts unrelated to kids-and I think many people who read this also enjoy the music side of things.

One of the best pieces of advice I recieved from a mother of two grown kids was “Try your best to not place judgement on your children.”  I think when I write about my kids and how they play into my world as a musician and a mom and well, just as my own person..I do find myself trying hard not to judge.  When they are freaking out or doing something I just didn’t expect, I want to comment on it.  I’d really hate for them to read all about my analysis of their actions throughout their whole lives.   Don’t get me wrong, a mom needs to feel like she’s not alone.  I love that so many parents (and non-parents) can share and relate to so many ramblings I’ve posted on here through the last 4 years.

But, for now, through Babble, I’m packing up and moving on.

I have to say too, there are so many great mom blogs out there.  I can’t dedicate the time and energy these moms do. They must spend half of their time  finding ways to get more readers.  I was always one of those bloggers who just spilled my thoughts and if anyone cared, they wrote a comment.  I started blogging when I didn’t really understand what a blog was (I believe I missed some crucial technological advancements while I sat inside of tour vans and dark rock clubs for a few years).  Anyway, I liked that my blog was just a conversation with anyone who cared..  But really, now I’m trying to focus and write some more songs.  I’m running a touring nanny business and also, I need to put down the phone and computer and play fairy adventures and hide and seek with my kids more often.

Please feel free to keep in touch through our website, facebook, etc.

See you out there on the road-somewhere on the diaper run.

For me it wouldn’t be a proper goodbye without a song.

Kori

Tis the season (and time in our tour cycle) for fly-ins.

Best way to handle the touring with kids in these situations-leave them at home with grandparents.  (and if that’s not an option, get a charter nanny-to go with you, or to stay home with your kids)

It’s usually 2 days, on a weekend.  It’s lots of frantic travel and sometimes you are in the air more than on the ground (literally and figuratively speaking).  We’ve been in situations (when the girls were really young) where fly-ins were common for the whole family on tour.  Once we flew to Spain and back within 2 days with an infant and 5 hour delays at the airports and on the planes.  I had to push the flight attendant button for the first time and tell her I was breast feeding and it was too f’n hot and they needed to turn the AC on and give me water while we sat on the runway for hours.

One of many airport shuttles. Love the guy next to them.

We get asked to play weddings.  All the time.  We’ve only done a few for non-family members.

We understand why people would want an upbeat, couple band who are generally easy and friendly and whom most people think sing songs about their undying love for each other, to play their wedding.  And, I have to admit, I have a lot of respect for bands whose sole purpose is to play weddings and big parties.  My sister’s wedding band could do any song, any style and I’ve never seen so many people crammed onto a dance floor as I did that night.  They also got paid more than we usually make in 3 nights.

I have a fear of trying to keep the party together as the wedding singer.  It’s just never been my calling in life to suggest people get into a circle and see who can do the best worm (or as we call Jason’s version, the grasshopper).  Ok,  actually it  has been my calling to have dance-offs if its “Baby Got Back”  and it’s at my own wedding but not if I’m in the actual wedding band.

We have played some weddings recently, got paid well and, had some fun-playing our own songs.

65+ degrees=family of ninja warriors, front lawn picnics, bike-rides, outdoor concerts, fresh air…kids are literally skipping down the sidewalk right now.

Also, maybe this is obvious, but 4 yrs is too old for riding in an infant seat.  I forgot that June grew a lot through the fall and winter.  Rounding a corner  yesterday, we toppled over with her still strapped in.  Also, Mags’ early allergies are causing excema and headaches and  red-eyes again.  And the house organization I’ve been meaning to do will be put on the back burner as the garden is ready to be turned over and the mildew needs to be wiped off the swing-set and outside toys.

Wait, I’m not complaining.  In fact this marks the season where we get to play some shows outside, kids dancing with their friends in plain view, with fireworks even.  And that is the best.  People need outside. I need outside.

Favorite kid concert memories:

1.  Performing a lip sync of “My Girl” on the Fourth of July to 3 sets of parents and getting one of the dads to make a surprise appearance in drag as “the girl”.

2. Choreographing 10 kids in leotards when I was 10 years old to the song “Playing with the Queen of Hearts”

3.  Dressing my 5 year old sister up as Bruce Springsteen for “Born in the USA” while I got to be Madonna “Lucky Star” (which now looking back at pictures, I should have already been wearing a bra for, nice one.)

4.  The Barnyard Boogie-one sister was the farmer and the other sister was the chicken who bawked her way to complete laughter from all the parents. I was the giant sun so I could block my own laughter at my sisters.

5.  The origianl song by the three girls for our parents called “Happy Anniversy from us to you”  (Masterpiece with three part harmony)

We just finished a short and sweet, East coast tour.  I’m happy to report that the shows were all super fun. And also this thrilling news:  There was very little complaining during the long van rides!  I can’t believe how well we all did- adults included-especially on the 10 hour drive from Durham to CT.

It might be because we actually liked downsizing from bus to van for a change.  There’s something kind of peaceful and yes, romantic about road trips.  Staring out the window endlessly with music you haven’t had a chance to really listen to in a while, thoughts you didn’t have time to explore in your busy daily routine, conversations you normally wouldn’t have unless you were stuck in a moving vehicle for hours on end…etc
The kid compliance could have also been because Mags discovered garage band on my iPad.  She was laying down vocal tracks in the backseat while we all talked in the background.  Gotta love those lo-fi noises mixed into recordings.

I can’t live without it.  I went until 12:55 today and couldn’t see straight.  I went grocery shopping at 10pm last night (favorite time to get groceries)  and the checkout guy was talking about how he hasn’t had caffeine in a year.  So, I tried this morning.  Nope.

Plus Jason showed me this video of Fugazi champion Ian McCaye and I laughed so hard I almost puked my espresso up.  (not for kids eyes–mostly for people who have a sense of humor)

Have I gotten my daughters into bad music?  And if so, do I need to show them one escape route now or just let them find their own way later on?  They like a couple songs airing on NickTeen (my kids are not even close to teen..bad mom?).  I thought we could bond over a couple catchy songs.   I’d be supermom for noticing what songs they heard on tv and finding them on my itunes and then surprise!! now they are in the car!

Now every day, by no fault but my own, we have to hear the same 4 manufactured pop hits over and over and over.. (I thought the car DVD player breaking was a good thing for us).  I’m totally sick of them.   I can fully admit a good song is a good song no matter who puts it out there, I myself was pretty into chart topping 80′s music and still am.  I sing along with my kids every time I hear “Party in the USA” and that came out only a couple of years ago (I think).

People should discover new music on their own with a little direction from someone they trust.  I remember my gateway guy.  He played me  his entire 7″ collection one afternoon and I was a new person.  I still liked listening to songs that were immediatly catchy and dance-worthy but my whole world opened up.  So, with the discovery of a love of music being the real focus, it’s fine to have what we use to dub “top 40″  into my young children’s rotation.

When I’m about two weeks deep into a tour, I always come to this realization that I’m inspired…and that I am just wasting my time traveling-when I could be home writing music.  Then we get home and I realize really important things like:  I never put shades up in the girls’ shared bedroom (and that’s why they get up at the crack of dawn),  we might have a mold problem in the bathroom upstairs that I have to research on the internet or I just remembered that I get to throw a 4 year old princess birthday party this weekend (probably the very last pink, sparkly event in our family since they DO outgrow the cinderella fascination…hence my 7 year old princess now is determined to become a spy).  I just get sidetracked with the normal stuff.

I know, “boo f’n hoo you can’t manage your time”  but I could really use some organization to all my roles.  My family comes first.  So, with all the essential unpacking from Christmas travel and finding homes for the piles of new crystal growing kits..

I’ll just let those songs float around in my head a little longer.

Lots of people ask what our day is like on tour with kids.  I’ve narrowed it down in about two hours of blogging:

Wake up at 5am when June sticks her head under my curtain and whispers “I wanna sleep in your bunk.”  I lift her in and we sleep until about 7am when she has to pee.  Side story-The other day she pooped on the bus at 6:30 am (no solids allowed on bus toilet) so I literally bagged it and ran across a sunrise-drenched hotel parking lot in my jammies and bare feet to dump the bag.  June watched and cheered from the bus window.

Then we’re up for a little while until it’s time for me to go back to bed and the nanny gets up.

And, if the 3 year old transitions to the nanny well, she gets a sticker on her sticker chart and eventually gets to exchange 3 stickers for a puppy surprise-this has worked wonders since I had to peel her crying body off of me the first two weeks of tour.  Mags wakes up at sometime around 8 and either reads, hangs out in her top bunk for a while or comes out ready to eat a toaster waffle.

I earned this. My mom is bribing me with stickers that add up to a stuffed dog. All I have to do is not freak out when she wants to take a teensy weensy nap.